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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer the Whopper (S21E21)

"fine. You got it. Thank you."
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"I played hardball with hollywood."
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"Do you know where you can buy ink for an amiga brand fax machine?"
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"Pass."
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"But I already bought a boat with the money you were gonna pay me."
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"Come on, comic book guy,"
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"you've gotta pick someone. We've already read three people."
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"Don't you latté-sipping leeches understand?"
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"I've seen enough of these hollywood super-hunks."
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"We need a dumpy, unappealing loser."
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"-- an everyman"
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"Can you help me out? I need change for a dollar."
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"Oh, I also need a dollar."
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"Great. Do you want to see me naked?"
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"Let's go around the table, and everybody say"
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"One amazing thing that happened to them today."
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"Lisa? Well, I qualified for"
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"Great. Marge, go. Guess who the garden club"
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"Elected president? You? Awesome. Next."
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"Time's up. Okay, maggie: "suck, suck"-- that takes us to... Me."
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"Homer, we have a problem."
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"Fine. I'll give back the oscars I stole from the lobby."
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"Do you want the golden globe? No! No..."
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"But we have a bigger problem."
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"Homer, my brother and I showed this picture of you"
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"To a cross-section of typical moviegoers."
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"Not one thought you looked like a superhero."
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"Attempting to blind themselves. Against every animal instinct they had."
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"People want to be instead"
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"of the one they actually are."
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""yo, hot dog man. Yo, peanuts.""
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"Why aren't you laughing? Don't you know what "yo" means?"
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"Maybe I can help."
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"Lyle mccarthy."
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"Finally, the answer to my problem."
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"What do you do? He's the trainer to the stars."
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"Here's what brad and angelina looked like before they met me."
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"They look good with a little meat on their bones."
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"Come with me. Take my hand, homer,"
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"And wave good-bye to fat you."
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"Good-bye, fat me."
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"Him? He's gone hollywood."
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"...A lot of people have come to this town and changed,"
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"But not me."
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"Now excuse me,"
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"I have to read a story To my adopted cambodian orphan."
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"Nannies, produce the child and the story."
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"Because I'm swallowing my frustrations and disappointments?"
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"Something bad happens"
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"and you cope by cramming a donut in your mouth."
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"Yeah, well, you don't always have time to..."
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"I'm gonna teach you Healthy emotional alternatives"
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"to eating."
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"We don't have much time,"
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"So we'll do it in a montage to the song "eye of the tiger.""
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"Oh, that song's a little on the nose."
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"Can we do it to david bowie's "heroes"?"
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"Eh, it's your montage."
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"Whew... This montage sounds really exhausting."
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"How about I just do a walking around sad montage?"
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"No."
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"A montage of me turning a ragtag little league team into state runners-up?"
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"No. Me using funny modes of transportation"
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"Like a hot air balloon and a camel, And finally a pickup truck full of chickens?"
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"Then I get out of the truck and go to thank the driver,"
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"And... Fit."
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"I gotta take this."
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"Tobey! Cider house rules!"
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"Seabiscuit, you keeping off the sugar cubes?"
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"I hate this guy."
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"I love this guy!"
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"Tobe, tobe, tobe, we talked about this."
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"If the rice ain't brown, don't chow down."
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"Look, I gotta bail-- I'm with everyman right now."
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"No, no, no, no, no, don't worry."
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"He totally sucks."
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"I'm only lying to him."
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"Good-bye! Bad-bye."
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"Was that tobey maguire?"
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"Hey, home town buffet,"
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"like I told john travolta, my client list is private."
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"You know what? Enough chitchat."
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"Hit the pole! Stripper up...Fireman down."
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"And sexy. Heroic!"
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"Earn that money."
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"Found this on the roof."
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"Well, I think we've seen the last of the purple pariah."
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"Thanks, Everyman. Don't thank me."
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"Thank captain america"
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"For giving me the patriotism to want to save the president's life."
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"And thank wonder woman for giving me the boobs"
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"to distract the guards."
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"And... Cut."
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"What'd you think, kids? That was awesome!"
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"Although there were a few holes in the story."
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"That's the problem when you have 17 writers."
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"But don't worry, we have two fresh ones working on it."
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"Oh! There's less of you to love, But I love you even more!"
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"Awesome performance, homer. I smell oscar."
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"This life is the greatest--"
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"I get paid a fortune, I've got a closet full of free sneakers and watches,"
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"And I get to hire my friends."
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"At least you get to see my face-- unlike carl."
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"I'm being paid to do what I love!"
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"A lot of things come and go in life, But not fame and fitness."
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"Homer! Homer sapian,"
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"can I have a word with you? I know this is a bad time, but"
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"but I'm leaving for another gig."
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"a gig? Don't take it personally, home team."
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"But how will I keep from overeating?"
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"Just remember what I taught you."
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"But you taught me the only people who can stay thin"
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"Are those who can afford"
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"$5,000-a-week nutritional consultants!"
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"I've taught you well. Good-bye."
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"Ooh! This other cheese cube stuck to the first one."
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"Well, that still technically counts as one."
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"Mm, it's bad luck to eat an uneven number of cheese cubes."
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"Don't look at me!"
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"Don't look at me!"
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