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Clips from The Good Place - Derek (S02E02)

"Because you just found out your ex is dating someone else."
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"But trust me, it's not worth all this drama."
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"- Can you get drunk? - Not really."
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"I do get pretty loopy."
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"I mean, honestly, the best move"
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"you have a rippin' bod,"
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"and you can literally do anything."
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"Yes. Eleanor told me"
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"And I should be able to avoid glitches"
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"Ah, thank you for your help."
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"Me, too."
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"And since we're friends,"
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"Take that outfit out of rotation."
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"If it's okay with you,"
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"Take all the time you need."
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"Janet's made a lot of talk-talk"
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"I know. But I did, though."
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"Look, this could be..."
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"no, please put that down."
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"Can you believe this?"
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"me and Janet a moment alone?"
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"Bye!"
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"To activate your Janet,"
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"press nose for three seconds."
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"Um, can you walk yet?"
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"Oh."
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"Shh."
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"Hello, I'm Janet."
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"Didn't need to. They keep their Janets"
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"It's right next to Accounting."
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"And you just walked in and stole her?"
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"Doors were unlocked, no security."
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"I mean, it makes sense, right?"
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"They're good, so they're stupid and trusting."
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"I understand that you need the four humans to think"
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"pretend to be good?"
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"Bad Janet?"
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"Now, really... really try your best."
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"- Fine. - Say, Janet,"
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"My favorite flavor is rocky road."
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"It contains chocolate ribbon, marshmallows, and your..."
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"I see what you mean."
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"Use the good one."
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"Janet, you and I are about to have"
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"a real adventure together."
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"Wait a second, Janet."
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"What... what are you... What are you telling me?"
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"The neighborhood is in danger of total collapse."
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"Mathematically, it's equally likely"
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"Okay, okay."
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""What's causing the problem?""
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"Unclear."
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"The glitches started out small,"
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"and then began to escalate,"
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"and then I started talking,"
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"and then you looked at me annoyed,"
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"Okay. All right."
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"Yeah, this is very bad."
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"Let's run a full diagnostic, Janet."
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"You got it."
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"Almost got it."
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"Okay. Let's get started."
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""Hello, and welcome to your new Janet."
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"And I need to skip ahead here."
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"Where's the, uh, troubleshooting part?"
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"- Michael. - Hmm?"
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"What's with the earthquake?"
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"a slight technical issue."
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"Ew. What's wrong with it?"
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"Oh, um, uh..."
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"It looked so good, but I'm not supposed to eat anything."
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"So there was a little earthquake."
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"Can't you just reset these things?"
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"What do you do again?"
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"Oh, it's the ears, yeah?"
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"It's... it's, uh..."
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"Vicky, can I... can I speak to you"
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"just for a second outside?"
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"Look, this is a common problem, and I've got it under control."
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"I don't know, man."
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"First you went rogue at the party"
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"with your sports car and your weird earring..."
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"And now Janet's"
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"breaking down? I mean,"
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"to tell Shawn that you're incompetent."
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"Begging."
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"Vicky, this is a temporary problem."
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"No, actually,"
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"I had this great idea the other night."
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"Picture this."
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"Oh, that's the whole idea."
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"- Yeah, yeah. - Needles."
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"I mean, needles."
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"- So smart. - Yeah."
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"Needles. Yeah, run with that."
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"Okay, hopefully bought us a little time."
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"Where were we? Uh..."
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""In the event of malfunction, run the following tests/"
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"Hop up on the table, there."
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"99.7 trillion degrees."
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"And..."
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"still no blood."
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""Summoning and retrieval."
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"using the random object generator program.""
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"A 14-ounce ostrich steak"
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"Here you go."
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"Okay."
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""Third test. Informational Accuracy."
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"You didn't finish your sentence."
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"with objective truth.""
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"They're talking about lying, Janet."
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"I told you a lie that first day we met."
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"Hello. I'm Janet."
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"And I have now been fully activated."
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"Hello, Janet."
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"One of the best. Top notch."
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"You're in luck here."
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"Happy to meet you, Michael."
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"I will help you make the perfect neighborhood."
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"Would you like to get started?"
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