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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Vesuvius (S09E09)

"Robin, this is a day you only get to do once."
How I Met Your Mother
"You need to appreciate the importance of it right now."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, my God."
How I Met Your Mother
"How did I only just now realize this?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Dude, this hotel has The Wedding Bride 2 on pay-per-view."
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"This is the best day of my life!"
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"I know Robin's not the girliest girl, but you'd think on her wedding day..."
How I Met Your Mother
"...she'd be at least a little sentimental."
How I Met Your Mother
"Everyone deals with getting married differently."
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"I got what I thought was the worst haircut."
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"But at least you had a wedding day freak-out."
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"Don't worry, any minute, Robin's gonna get smacked in the face..."
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"...with her holy-crap-this-is-my-wedding moment."
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"And she'll wedding out all over the place, I promise."
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"But you can't force it. It has to just happen."
How I Met Your Mother
"I don't know, she bailed on my scrapbook..."
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"...when she found out The Wedding Bride 2 is on pay-per-view."
How I Met Your Mother
"The Wedding Bride 2 is on pay-per-view?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I'm sorry, did I hear you talking about The Wedding Bride?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Smash? Oh, oh. Oh, I guess a show's a smash now if it closes after only 96 weeks."
How I Met Your Mother
"My husband's ex-fiancée's husband wrote the screenplay for The Wedding Bride."
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"- Jed Mosely was based on Ted. - Okay, Jed was not based on me."
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"Hey, that is not a toy, you ragamuffin."
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"Entirely."
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"But regardless, there's still some lingering pain there."
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"And as you can imagine, my friends promised me they'd never watch it."
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"Well, those are some good friends."
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"Oh, they're the best."
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"My wiener."
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"- You mean Ted? - Whatever, same guy."
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"[ALL LAUGHING]"
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"I did. I had my boy Timmy G. Make the perfect wedding suit."
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"Ever heard of "bespoke"?"
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"This suit was "be-freaking-screamed.""
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"But I tried it on this morning, it was uncomfortable, itchy and wrong."
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"...with terrible posture, no taste and limited funds."
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"The question is, which of these other suits do I pick?"
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"There are so many great ones to choose from."
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"- Well, how about this one? - Yes, yes, that's the one."
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"Oh, hey, quick question, is it weird to get married in a suit..."
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"...that you may have worn while banging a female rodeo clown?"
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"Yes, the carpet matched the drapes."
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"Of course that's weird, every part of it is."
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"Uh, what about this suit?"
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"Ha, ha. Let's just say I stuffed a lot of bunnies in that suit."
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"- Do you have to phrase it that way? - Actual bunnies, Ted."
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"This is my magic suit. Get your mind out of the gutter."
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"Though I did once wear it to the Playboy holiday party and, uh..."
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"...ha, ha, let's just say I stuffed a lot of bunnies in that suit."
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"Okay."
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"- Uh, how about this one? - Oh, man."
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"- I went crazy on an escort in that one. - Barney, come on."
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"A Ford Escort, Ted. I did it on a car."
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"With a woman who I may or may not have paid, that one's out too."
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"Okay, your wedding's in a few hours."
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"Kind of strange to spend those hours watching a terrible movie, right?"
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"Terrible? Lily, this movie is a revelation. I can't believe Ted wouldn't let us see it."
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"Just because there's a character based on him?"
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"Of course, I'll make all weddings illegal."
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"[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]"
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"Ooh. No-can-l-do's-ville, baby doll."
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"It's like, relax, Ted."
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"It's no big deal. You should be flattered."
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"And now to celebrate with that piece of chocolate cake I've been saving."
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"What? Who ate my cake?"
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"- Uh, what cake? - Narshall!"
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""Narshall"?"
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""Narshall." How dare they?"
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"That is insulting and ridiculous and I am nothing like that character."
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"I'm gonna sue everyone involved with this film."
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"So you're gonna sue them on the grounds..."
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"...that nothing like that cake thing ever happened?"
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"If Ted didn't want me to eat it, he should've put a note on it."
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"[KNOCKING ON DOOR]"
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"- Oh, hi, Grandma. - Robin, sweetheart."
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"I wanted you to have this."
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"It's me and your grandpa on our wedding day."
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"- Aw. That's so sweet. - See my bouquet?"
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"- Mm. - Those wildflowers?"
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"They were supposed to be hydrangeas but there was a mix-up at the florist."
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"I was so upset, your grandpa went behind the church..."
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"...and picked those wildflowers for me. And now, he's buried..."
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"Behind the same church surrounded by the same wildflowers."
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"Okay, Grandma, watching a movie, gotta go."
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"Sorry, Grandma, not as touching as you think it is."
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"At the very same church."
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"Now, I wanna see if Jed can get his wiener unstuck from that thermos."
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"I'm sorry, did you just turn off the bride's TV on her wedding day?"
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"Oh. Oh, is this your wedding day?"
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"Ha, ha. I'm sorry, I couldn't tell, you're acting like it's any other Sunday morning."
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"And it's not."
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"Lily, if you're waiting for me to suddenly turn into the wedding bride..."
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"...just give up, that's just not me. LILY: Fine."
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"Maybe we should all just act like this wedding's no big deal."
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"Maybe I don't even feel like wearing my bridesmaid's dress."
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"Great. It's just a wedding. Who cares what people wear?"
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"- Say yes to the suit! - I can't, I can't."
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"Great, because I actually brought a different dress I'd like to wear."
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"- Fine. - Oh, no."
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"- Maybe I'll go put it on right now. - Go right ahead."
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"- What? - I'm so sorry."
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"What? Why?"
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"- Really? - Mm-hm. Yeah."
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"Robin and Lily get in a big fight and a few minutes later..."
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"...there's a knock..."
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"Hello."
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"- I've told you this one before. - A few times."
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"Oh. I'm just a boring old man who won't stop spinning yarns."
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"Hey, I love your yarns."
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"I hope you never stop spinning them."
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"But?"
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"You're the love of my life, pooh bear."
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"I just worry about you."
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"I don't want you to be the guy who lives in his stories."
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"Life only moves forward."
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"So, what happens next? With Lily and the wedding dress, I mean."
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"Well..."
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"...because, in yet another story I know..."
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"What space would I have in my brain for other things if I didn't know all this?"
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"Ah, probably just state birds or some crap. Heh."
How I Met Your Mother
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