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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - Vesuvius (S09E09)

"Winter break, freshman year of college."
How I Met Your Mother
"That wasn't even the worst snowstorm ever. It was 2008, Barney and l..."
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"Wow."
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"- Nice. - We did it."
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"...that's more suited to somebody who's, you know, heh, getting married today?"
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"[TINKER MUSIC PLAYING OVER BOOK]"
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"- Where is she? - Who?"
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"Susan Tupp."
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"I need you to help me pick the suit I'm gonna wear when I walk down the aisle."
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"Man, the fellas sure do get boned on the whole wedding thing, don't they?"
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"Score."
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"- Until I fixed it with the actual worst haircut. - Which led to the worst wedding photos."
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"That is an authentic flail I won at the renaissance faire."
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"See, I would have expected you to have a special suit just for this occasion."
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"It was like a suit made for someone..."
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"Here, you take it."
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"I know what you're wondering."
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"Yeah, why was he hanging so much beef on this movie?"
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"Then Stella can never be a wedding bride."
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"Every single holiday, that same dumb story."
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"- Ha, ha. - No-can-do's-ville, baby doll."
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"I know this story too."
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"...she brought the dress so she and Marshall could get new wedding photos taken..."
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"She pocket-texted me while you were telling her."
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"In a moment like that, when what's really happening is too intense to deal with..."
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"Maybe the groomsmen should go get some food."
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"- Sorry, I saw it on a plane. - So this is gonna be a thing now?"
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"Chapter and verse."
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"Yeah. I can't believe I forgot that."
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"- Yes. - No."
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"She left here last early spring"
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"TRACY: Thank you for bringing me here."
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"I am so glad we made it. That snowstorm was getting really bad."
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"You think this is a snowstorm?"
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"This is nothing. I'll tell you about a snowstorm."
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"Marshall and I were roommates but we weren't friends..."
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"- Uh, let's see, it was all the time. - Really?"
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"You and Marshall drove back to school, "500 Miles" played on a loop."
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"Took a back road, ran out of gas."
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"Got stuck in a snowstorm, spooned to stay warm... At least, that's your story."
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"At the end, you were best friends."
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"Okay, okay, that's fine. Because guess what."
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"TRACY: Took over the bar, met the Arizona Tech marching band... Go Hens."
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"They played "Auld Lang Syne" when Marshall picked up Lily at the airport."
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"Okay, have I told you about the time that Marshall...?"
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"TRACY: Tried to put Christmas lights on Lily's grandparents'house..."
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"... and the ragamuffin from next door left him stranded on the roof."
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"- Did Lily tell you that one? - Yeah."
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"Lily used the word "ragamuffin.""
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"- So I've told you all my stories. - I'm afraid so."
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"Luckily, I have plenty of stories that you don't know yet."
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"Like where my college roommates and I went to a male strip club..."
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"- I know that one. - Okay."
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"- What about the story that explains how...? - Dongnose got her nickname..."
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"...and that it had nothing to do with the dong-smacking incident?"
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"Heard it, loved it, called it the greatest coincidence of the 21st century."
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"You know every one of my stories."
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"And you know every one of mine."
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"I guess it's official."
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"We're an old married couple."
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"- Well, well, if it isn't the Mosbys. BOTH: Hi."
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"Here for a romantic weekend away from the kids."
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"Good thing there's no guest on either side of you."
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"Those bed springs are gonna squeak like mice in a cheese factory."
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"Ha, ha. Just don't break any lamps like your friends Barney and Robin."
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"- That's not how the lamp broke. - Of course not, have fun."
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"What lamp?"
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"The lamp Robin broke the day of the wedding."
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"Oh, my God, you don't know this one."
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"Oh, man. This is a good one."
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"I mean, it's got everything: Intrigue, betrayal, lamps."
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"- It is a ripping yarn, buckle your seat belt... - Just tell the story."
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"Okay, here goes."
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"- Okay, this has to stop. - Come on, we're just having fun."
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"It has been a long weekend."
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"This is how I relax."
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"Really? This is how you relax?"
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"By not getting a single shot past me the entire morning?"
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"You suck, Scherbatsky. You shoot like my grandma."
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"Okay, Scherbatsky, you just poked the dragon."
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"Here comes the bride."
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"Okay, how about we switch to an activity..."
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"Oh. We gonna go chug some Labatts?"
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"I was thinking we could chug some memories, instead."
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""Barney and Robin. Lovers Forever and Ever and Ever, A Love Story.""
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"Sounds cheesy. I'm gonna go barf forever and ever and ever."
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"See you, hosers."
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"It's not cheesy."
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"See?"
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"I'm sorry, that would violate hotel privacy policy."
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"Well, maybe my old friend Mr. Lincoln..."
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"...can emancipate that information."
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"I'm so sorry, I wasn't clear."
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"I can't violate our hotel privacy policy..."
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"...for five dollars."
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"- Something with a two on it is fine. - Those are rare, mine is lucky."
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"Just give me a 20, Mr. Mosby."
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"That room belongs to a Ms. Susan Tupp."
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"BARNEY: God, you're gorgeous."
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"I can't wait to be inside you."
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"Barney, get out here. This is your wedding day."
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"Look, I just overpaid for some information about this room, so I know it's accurate."
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"- This room belongs to Susan Tupp. - Who?"
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"- Who? - Sue Tupp."
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"- Suit up. - I'm trying to."
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"Robin walks down the aisle. You wait at the end of it."
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"Okay, then the suit I'll be wearing when they all stand as I enter the chapel."
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"- That's also her. - Really?"
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"Let's pick you a suit. What are the top contenders?"
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"Well, after careful consideration..."
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"...I've narrowed it down to these ones..."
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"...and these ones..."
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"...and the other ones in this room and all the ones in the adjoining room."
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"- You've narrowed it down to all your suits. - We're screwed."
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"This is a picture of the restaurant where you and Barney had your first date."
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"And now you're getting married."
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"And this is the receipt from the meal you and Barney ate..."
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"...at that restaurant on your first date."
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"And now you're getting married."
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"- Can we look at this later? - Later? There is no later."
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