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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - The Bowtie (S05E05)

"- Did you meet Sheriff, my dog? - No, I didn't."
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"- And I said hi, I said hello. - Yeah, yeah."
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"- I said, "Hi, Dan." - Yeah, what else?"
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""It must be hard, as a guy, to follow...""
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"Yeah, problem. Now she's back with a woman."
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"- I want to say something else. - Uh-huh."
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"It's not proper etiquette!"
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"Yeah, no one cares what you subscribe to, okay?"
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"I vouched for you. You're all right."
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"- Fantastic. - All right."
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"The what?"
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"You are a Muslim!"
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"Go, pray, pray."
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"What, did l..."
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"- Don't worry about it. - All right."
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"that Muslims are a very forgiving people."
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"- Yes we are. We're very forgiving. - Really? Huh."
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"Being that we are a forgiving people, I have decided"
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"to take on your case."
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"But I'm gonna have to charge you"
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"a higher rate than I charge most people."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Well, whatever you have to do."
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"To tell you the truth,"
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"I mean, this could be a huge thing for me."
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"Aren't you supposed to be in here?"
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"Well, then you wait."
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"Hey, nice dog."
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"No, don't!"
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"I love dogs. I have a couple of my own."
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"So then he goes like this..."
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"like this. He can't talk."
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"He's in the hospital, the bed, you know?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"So I lean in, and he whispers in my ear."
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""You're adopted.""
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"- He said that? - I think he said that."
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"But why would he say I'm a doctor? I would know if I'm a doctor."
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"Why do you think he would wait until now to tell you?"
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"Maybe he thought he was dying."
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"But I'm still not 100% sure that he said it."
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"you want me to find out if you're adopted or not."
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"First, how did you find me?"
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"My friend said he read this big article"
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"about you in the L.A. Magazine."
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""Best Best Private Investigator in Los Angeles.""
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"Look, Mr. David,"
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"I have to be honest with you."
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"My business and what I do..."
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"what I do is I service the community."
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"be helping my community."
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"You got, like, a community center for bingo?"
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"I've got extra sneakers that I don't wear anymore"
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"- in pretty good condition, I must say. - Extra sneakers?"
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"I'd be more than happy to donate 'em."
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"Mr. David, I don't think this is gonna work."
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"It would mean an awful lot to me."
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"- I would. - I can't promise anything."
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"What about a big brother kind of thing?"
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"and see exactly what the community needs..."
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"Maybe for one afternoon,"
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"to a movie or something."
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"Well, it says "men" on it. Yes."
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"It's a natural question to ask."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- Yes. - May I borrow the key?"
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"- Yes, you may borrow the key. - Thank you."
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"Okay. Thanks, Mr. Jones."
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"- And you'll think about it? - I will."
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"By the way..."
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"Iove the bow-tie."
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"- What are you doing?! - Using the bathroom."
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"Yes, I know, but somebody was using the other one, so l..."
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"Well, then you wait!"
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"I couldn't wait. It was an emergency. I had to go!"
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"There's one stall for me, and you're in it!"
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"But honestly, I haven't seen a handicapped person in the bathroom,"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"maybe ever. So I thought I could perhaps take my chances."
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""A handicapped person"?"
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"Well, that doesn't sound so hot."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"I don't really care what it sounds like to you, okay? It's disabled."
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"I think I would prefer handicapped."
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"God, you know how archaic that word is? "A handicapped person"!"
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"That's demeaning, don't you know?"
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"- I'm a disabled person. - Oh, sorry."
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"- You're sorry. - Oh, sorry."
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"Now you've learned a lesson. Please, don't ever go"
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"- in my stall again! All right? - Fine, okay."
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"Douche-bag."
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"So you think he's a Muslim?"
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"Do black men who aren't Muslims ever wear bow-ties?"
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"- I'm surprised you didn't ask him. - Yeah, me too."
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"I mean, you know, I don't care either way, I'm just curious."
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"Well, I'll tell you something, that I think he's a Muslim."
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"Hey, that's a handicapped spot."
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"Wh-wh-what?"
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"What's with the walking?"
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"Fuck you!"
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"Look at my license plate!"
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"you fucking prick!"
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"we got a dog."
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"Really? Why?"
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"- She wanted a dog. - You have to walk it and everything?"
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"- I'm sure I'll wind up doing stuff. - Oh, definitely."
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"I know, yeah, but you know what? It's kind of cute."
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"- Larry! - I kind of like it. Hi!"
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"- Hi! - Jodi!"
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"- How are you? - Great, great."
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"- Hi Jodi. How are you doing? - Hi."
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"- How are you doing, - Ms. Jodi Funkhouser?"
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"- So what's going on? - Nothing."
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"- Are those new glasses? - No, but I cleaned them."
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"You're so funny!"
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"- I'm here with my dad. - Oh yeah?"
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"Are you coming to my parents' 25th anniversary party?"
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"I am."
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"- Oh. Are you? - Eh..."
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"It'll be fun, really. Think about it."
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"I'm not gonna think about it, but whatever."
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"- I really hope you come. - Well, thanks."
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"- Wow, great to see you. - Yeah. Bye-bye."
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"Bye."
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"All right, is it my imagination?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
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