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Clips from The Simpsons - A Star Is Burns (S06E06)

"Anyway, we think you'll really enjoy our quiet little town."
The Simpsons
"Do I really wanna leave Manhattan?"
The Simpsons
"Sherman, I just realized you insulted me. Now you will die."
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"Hey, nudnik, your shoe's untied."
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"From here, they appear to be tied. But I will go in for a closer look."
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"On closer inspection, these are Loafers."
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"Attention, the flight from New York has arrived."
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"Hey, I'm landing here."
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"It's supposed to say Jay's name, not yours."
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"Oh, you're right."
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"There you..."
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"Just a second. Oh, that should..."
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"Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane."
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"And you must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil."
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"It was a gummy bear."
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"I smell another cheap cartoon crossover."
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"Bart Simpson, meet Jay Sherman the critic."
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"- Hello. - Hey, man, I really love your show."
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"I suddenly feel so dirty."
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"I don't know what's happening. It seems our profits have dropped 37 percent."
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"Research shows people see you as something of an ogre."
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"I ought to club them and eat their bones."
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"Maybe this film festival could help us."
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"A film biography might let them get to know the real you."
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"Virtuous, heroic, nubile."
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"You left out "pleasant.""
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"But I like that film-biography idea."
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"A slick Hollywood picture to gloss over my evil rise to power..."
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"...like Bugsy or Working Girl."
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"Get me Steven Spielberg."
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"- He's unavailable. - Get his nonunion Mexican equivalent."
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"...I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler."
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"Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod."
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"We're both factory owners. We both made shells for the Nazis."
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"But mine worked, damn it. Now, go out there and win me that festival!"
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"Homer, the guest should get the last pork chop."
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"Mr. Sherman, I understand you have two Pulitzer Prizes."
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"Well, it's not like I carry them around with me."
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"It's so hot in here."
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"Oh, look, here's my People's Choice Award. Five Golden Globes..."
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"Where's my Emmy?"
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"- Thank you. - Yeah, well, I won..."
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"...the belching contest at work."
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"Very nice, Homer."
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"Wow, how many Pulitzer Prize winners can do that?"
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"I invited my sisters over."
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"Sisters. Allow me."
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"So then I said to Woody Allen, "Well, Camus can do, but Sartre is 'smartre.'""
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"So original."
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"How droll."
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"Yeah, well, Scooby-Doo can doo-doo..."
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"...but Jimmy Carter is smarter."
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"- Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert. - So tell us, who's gay?"
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"Oh, I don't know. Harvey Fierstein."
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"- No. - Who else?"
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"MacGyver's gay."
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"What you doing, Marge?"
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"Marge, do you respect my intelligence?"
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"- Yes. - Okay."
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"Wait a minute. Why did it take you so long to say yes?"
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"- No reason. - Okay."
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"Wait a minute. Are you humoring me?"
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"- Yes. - Okay."
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"Wait a minute. That's bad!"
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"Look, I know I'm not witty like that critic guy..."
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"...but does he know all the words to the Oscar Mayer song?"
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"Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener"
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"That is what I'd truly like to be"
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"'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener"
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"That's it, Marge. He knows the whole hot-dog song."
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"Go ahead, sleep with him. I'll just take a lock of your hair to remember you by."
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"You don't have to do this."
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"- You think I'm stupid. - I don't think you're stupid."
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"Fine. You're on the jury."
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"Excellent."
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"Excellent."
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"- Next. - Excellent."
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"- Next. - Exactly."
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"Next."
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"Oh, it's hopeless. I'll have to play myself."
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"I thought they were playing The Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight."
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"Our first film is by Indian director Apu Nahasapeemapetilon."
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"Bright Lights, Beef Jerky."
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"Help! Help! Police!"
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"Hey, I got problems of my own right now. Oh, boy."
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"This is gonna get worse before it gets better."
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"Next, we have Moe the bartender in Moe Better Booze."
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"Money gets you one more round Drink it down, you stupid clown"
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"My back!"
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"Hans Moleman Productions presents..."
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"This contest is over. Give that man the $ 10,000!"
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"This isn't America 's Funniest Home Videos."
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"But the ball, his groin. It works on so many levels."
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"Roll it again."
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"Next, they're gonna show my movie."
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"- You made a movie? - I made a movie?"
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"No wonder I was on the cover of Entertainment Weekly."
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"My name is Barney Gumble. I'm 40, I'm single, and I drink."
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"There's a line in Othello about a drinker."
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"Now a sensible man, by and by a fool, and presently a beast."
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"That pretty well covers it."
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"It's brilliant. Savagely honest. Tender. He has the soul of a poet."
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"Excuse me. Did something crawl down your throat and die?"
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"It didn't die."
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"My name is Barney, and I'm an alcoholic."
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"Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?"
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"Don 't cry for me. I'm already dead."
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"I think we have a winner."
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"- What'd I miss? - Homer, please pay attention."
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"There's just one more movie."
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"Simple villagers, I promise you..."
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"...I will close plants in America and bring work here."
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"We did 20 takes, and that was the best one."
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"Remember, Elliott, I'll be right here."
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"- Pure egotism. - Self-indulgent tripe."
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"I don't care what they say. I'm going to win this festival."
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"Drink up, Judah Ben-Hur."
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"You truly are the king of kings."
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"Excellent."
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"No. They're saying, "Boo-urns, Boo-urns.""
The Simpsons
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