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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S05E05)

"that carries around those poor, underappreciated lunch ladies."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This explains a lot."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Lunch lady Scooter was there again today."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, did you jump on that thing? Give it a ride?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Really? If it were me, I'd be riding that scooter all day long"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"until I broke that thing in half."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So those poor women still have to walk everywhere?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Wait, Scooter is working at your school?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Are you jealous? - No, I just feel bad for Scooter."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"'Cause the only reason he took that job is he thinks he has a shot with you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You have to make it clear that he doesn't so that he can move on,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and a real lunch lady can get her job back."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Damn! - I've tried."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, Lily. I saw you have seventh period free."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Let me be clear, Scooter,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"there's no way you and I can ever be together."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Right now."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'll see you tomorrow, Lily. It's Tijuana Tuesday."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""Right now"?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You "right nowed" Scooter?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You need to let Scooter off the hook once and for all."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're right. Day after tomorrow, that's exactly what I'm gonna do."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Why not tomorrow? - Baby, I can't ruin Tijuana Tuesday."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Really? You're really gonna sit here all night watching the door"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"because Tiffany said she'll "try to stop by"?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Barney, I'm not gonna just give up on her."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: I should've given up on her."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"This girl is special."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She was the devil."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Things are gonna work out with Tiffany."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, they're not, dumbass!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, let me be clear, this girl is a poison"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and you need to cut her out of your life forever."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, there she is."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, she brought some of her co-workers."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hang on to this girl, Ted. Hang on to her and never let go!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, these are some of the hottest girls I've ever seen."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- And they all work with Tiffany? - Yep."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There can only be one explanation for this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, is Tiffany a (STUTTERS) pharmaceutical sales rep?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Yeah. How did you know that? - And you never thought to mention that?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(EX CLAIMING) Just a... Just a..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What? - Ted, throughout time,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"there has always been one cutting-edge profession"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"to which hot girls, like Tiffany, have flocked."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Shall I walk you through the history? - I'm gonna explicitly say no."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It all started 2.5 million years ago."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"BARNEY: Man was a hunter."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So the hottest profession of the day? Gatherer."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Homo erectus, indeed."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"As man mastered technology, the hottest profession of the day evolved."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And then man took to the skies."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And so hot women put on high heels and became stewardesses."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And then man said, " Life is hard."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""I should start taking lots of prescription drugs.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And so, hot girls rolled into doctors' offices, looking sexy enough to render"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"the very erection pills they peddled ironically redundant."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, now, pharma girls are today's hottest profession."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, big brown eyes! How are you doing?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm good."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, by the way, you ditch that loser boyfriend yet?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, sir."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Touched my nose."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Dude, ditch Tiffany and join the Barnacle in a pharma girl free-for-all!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Side effects may include loss of clothing, rug burn,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"shortness of breath and sore abdominals the next morning."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What in the world is up?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, so, I know that you've been having trouble letting Scooter off the hook."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I decided what you need is practice."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now, you say the problem is his cute, sad eyes?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(EX CLAIMING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"All right, shut it, woman."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now, I want you to look at this teacup pig,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and tell him that there's no way that you could ever be with him."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Teacup pig, there is no way I can ever be with you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Right now. - Oh, come on, grow a pair!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm sorry. But he's just so freaking cute."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I just want to cuddle him all day long. Yes, I do."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You know, it's funny, I remember when you used to say things like that about me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Well, I still do. - Yeah. Not as much, Lily."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Not as much."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ain't no party like a pharma girl party 'Cause a pharma girl party don't stop"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Dude, I've already hooked up with three of them."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I've never felt more alive! Ooh."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Guys, great news! Tiffany broke up with her boyfriend."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It was a mix."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Dude. - There's no shame in admitting it, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We've all been on people's hooks, and we've all kept someone on a hook."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Um, I most certainly have not."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What? Are you joking? - What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What about that girl from the university library, Henrietta?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Henrietta and I are just friends."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Oh, she is so on your hook. - Absolutely not!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ah!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: We shared chocolate cake."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mmm, it's good."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She gave me foot rubs. Long ones. I'm not proud, kids."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You like having Henrietta around"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"for the same reason that Tiffany likes having you around."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's a nice little ego boost."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No wonder you're such an expert about keeping people on the hook."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What about that poor camera guy you work with?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Mike and I are just friends. - Come on!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mmm! Oh!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, that's the stuff."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Robin, have you ever thought about taking us to the next level?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, if you're talking about doing my laundry, I'm on board."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What! I am not keeping Mike on the hook! - You are Captain Hook!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Uh, dude, I'm a girl. Okay, our girl parts are like a spider web."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sometimes you're gonna catch stuff you don't want."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That doesn't make it okay."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, and Henrietta's in no way wasting her time with you, right?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Henrietta knows that we're just friends."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"In fact, I'm gonna call her up and hang out with her tonight as friends."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hey, Ted. - Hey."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I love you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What? Do you want a foot massage? 'Cause I've been practicing on myself."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- No, I'm good. - Okay."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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