Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S05E05)

"A teacup pig? Who's that working on?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"so I'd hate to burn that bridge."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But the truth is that will never happen."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So do I. You want to run away together?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What? It's just a job."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm pretty sure it's a hernia. Can you check again?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I am in the upright and locked position."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: She totally was."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You got yourself a deal. - Mmm."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I didn't know if you were hungry, so I just threw together some..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, God, no."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Henrietta, I..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: And that's when it hit me. I was on the hook. I also realized..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Now I'm done."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Marshall, I can do this by myself. - Okay. Well, then, prove it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I represent statins and other cholesterol-Iowering drugs."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"ENGLISH - US - SDH"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: Kids, in many of my stories,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm a starry-eyed romantic on a noble search for true love."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"In this one, I'm just a jerk."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, guys, tonight is the night."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm inviting Tiffany up to my place to see my antique camera collection."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- It's Ted's bait. - Bait?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"A true gentleman invents a pretense to lure an honorable lady into his apartment,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"some item of interest or beauty you can both pretend to admire for five minutes"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"before she hops on your disco stick."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Right. She's coming up to borrow a book, or check out an album on vinyl."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Or to see your new rap poster."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SCOFFS) Rap poster? Who would that work on?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It was the first week of college. I was really into Wu-Tang Clan."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, bait is tricky."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It has to be something interesting enough to get the girl upstairs,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but not so interesting that it overpowers the night."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"BARNEY: I found that a slot machine was too fun."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And a trampoline turned out to be too dangerous."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But then I found the perfect bait."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- A teacup pig. - (GRUNTING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You have a teacup pig? - You have a teacup pig?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Can we see the teacup pig?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Can I borrow your teacup pig? - Yes, you can borrow my teacup pig."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You have a teacup pig? Oh, my gosh, I can't believe you have a teacup pig."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're just so cute. Yes, you are the cutest piggy ever."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Were you always this pretty? Or are you gonna give me that whole"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
""Oh, in high school, I was really shy and awkward" line?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I was shy and awkward."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I was like 100 pounds heavier and I had these crazy buck teeth."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Seriously? - No."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I've always been hot. What are you gonna do?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Do you know who else would love this teacup pig?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hmm."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"My boyfriend."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You have a boyfriend?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I know. So annoying, right? I mean, he's not really my boyfriend."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Oh, good. - I mean, technically, he kind of is."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Well, is he or isn't he? - Some of both, but definitely not neither."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Are you getting any of this?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Look, I really like you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I just need you to be patient. I don't want to lose you, big brown eyes."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yep. Somebody doesn't want to lose "big brown eyes.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, Ted. She's got you on the hook."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What? What? I'm not on the hook. - Oh, you are totally on the hook."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She's stringing you along, but she's not committing to you,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but she's keeping you around, just in case, like an old can of chili in the pantry."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Um... Who's buying canned chili and not eating it immediately?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Amen, sister."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But, Ted, don't feel bad. We've all been there."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I've been on both sides of it. I've been a hookee and a hooker."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Move past it, guys."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I've been a little bit loose, but money never changed hands."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I've been on the hook."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Lisa Walker. Picture it. 1994, St. Cloud, Minnesota."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, I was, like, thinking, Lisa,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"do you maybe want to, like, go out with me?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That sounds great."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But I'm sort of seeing this guy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"He's got a LeBaron convertible and an in at the roller rink,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I understand."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But how about this?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You can be my secret boyfriend who does all my homework for me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"All right."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You want to see my rap poster?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Poster whore!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Anyway, Lisa Walker strung me along for months"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"until, one night, I went to go tell her how much I loved her,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(ALL EX CLAIMING IN ADMIRATION)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"in song."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(ALL EX CLAIMING IN DISDAIN)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"MARSHALL: She wasn't home yet, so I waited."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And waited."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I woke up four hours later covered in snow,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and that's when I saw it,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Lisa 's footsteps."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She had walked right over me and into the house."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It was the best thing that could've happened."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It got me off her hook."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, that is definitely not what's going on with me and Tiffany."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Listen to this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm really into you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I just can't be with you right now."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Eh? Eh?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, "right now" is the classic on-the-hook catchphrase."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yep. "Right now" paints a picture of some sort of magical future time"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"when everything will work out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's like this, "I can't be with you." Boom! "Right now.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(IMITATING DOOR CREAKING OPEN)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, I think my high school boyfriend, Scooter, is still sort of on the hook for me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sort of? He totally is."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The poor guy showed up at our wedding hoping to win you back."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah. It's still sometimes weird when I see him at work."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Wait, what?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Scooter works in the school cafeteria. We've talked about this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, Lily. Nice dress. Tater Tots?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(MOUTHING) I love you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We most certainly have not talked about this!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yes, we have. I've mentioned it tons of times."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Lunch lady Scooter."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I thought that you were referring to some sort of long overdue device"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
Show more clips