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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S01E01)

"Plenty of fish in the sea."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yes, there's nine million people in New York,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"4.5 million women."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So if we take into account the most recent census data,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"that leaves us with 482,000."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But wait, 48% of those are already in relationships,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and then you have to eliminate half for intelligence, sense of humor"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and compatibility."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And then you have to take out the ex-girlfriends, and the relatives"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and, oh, we can't forget those lesbians."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And then that leaves us with eight women."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That can't be right. Eight? Really, eight?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There are eight fish in that big, blue ocean, Ted."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"without me, there's the door."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Do you take credit cards?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay, it's back. And this time we got a good look."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey. Seriously, you have to stop doing that!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's bigger now. It's been feeding."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, gosh."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SCREAMING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SHUSHING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's okay. It's over."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- So, did you get a good look at it? - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It has six legs, a hard exoskeleton, like a roach."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But it had mouse-like characteristics."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Gray-brown tufts of fur, a tail."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So which is it, a cockroach or a mouse?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's a cockamouse."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's some sort of mutant combination of the two."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's as if a cockroach and a mouse, you know..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Did the horizontal, 10-legged, inter-species cha-cha?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's impossible. That simply can't happen."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- But it can. - And it has."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And it's pissed."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Dude, is everything okay? You left the front door open."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There was no time."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, Love Solutions? Did you meet the love of your life?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Should I be worried?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Just play it cool. Don't Ted out about it."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Did you just use my name as a verb?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yeah, we do that behind your back."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Also see, Ted up."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted up, to overthink something with disastrous results."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sample sentence, Billy Teded up when he tried to..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Don't worry. I'm not gonna Ted anything up, or out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hi, Ellen. Remember me? I'm Ted. - Ted. Hi."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I meant to call you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The computer is still crunching the numbers."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Busy as a bee, that little computer."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You said it was gonna be three days."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Did I? Three days."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Really? - Yeah."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"you kind of put that in your datebook. So."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, there are absolutely no women out there for you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Actually, I got through that okay."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There are no women out there for me? I thought you said there were eight."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I know. There's supposed to be. I don't know where they are."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But I'm an architect. And you said I'm cute."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- I'm a cute architect. - How do you think I feel?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I have a 100% success rate. That's my hook!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Well, I'm not. - A little bi maybe?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I cannot set you up"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She would've been absolutely perfect for you."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, what about the guy you set her up with? Is he a 9.6 compatibility rating?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- 8.5. - So he sucks!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, 8.5 is an extremely good match-up quotient."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sure it's good. It's solid. But a 9.6?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"9.6 is off the charts. But Sarah is matched up."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted, look. I have lunch. Please."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I promise we will find you somebody. Don't lose hope."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There are new women turning 18 every day."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's a whole new species. The cockamouse."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And it's the size of a potato."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, what now, it's a cockapotatomouse?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Don't make it sound ridiculous. It's a cockamouse!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sarah O'Brien loves brunch. She wants to have two children."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Her guilty-pleasure song is Summer Breeze by Seals and Croft."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Wow, Ted. Sounds like you're her perfect woman."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And like the majestic seahorse, it's hermaphroditic."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Obviously, the whole thing is shrouded in mystery."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"For as much as we know about the cockamouse,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"there is still so much we don't know."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, we know that there is no such thing as the cockamouse."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What we don't know is what you guys have been smoking."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So you really don't believe in the cockamouse?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"but you've exaggerated it in your mind, you know, like the Loch Ness monster."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"If by "like the Loch Ness monster" you mean "totally exists and is awesome,""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"then, yeah, it's like the Loch Ness monster."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Its diet is not unlike our own. Grains, cereals,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- and it's awfully fond of cheese. - Okay. This is getting weird."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The similarities go on and on."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She hates phonies. I totally hate phonies, too."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She's a dermatologist. I have skin."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You want to be her boyfriend. She already has a boyfriend."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- It's uncanny. - All right."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"But it wouldn't hurt to check her out, right?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"See what my 9.6 looks like in person, as, you know, a frame of reference."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And if she thinks she can do 11.45% better, who am I to deny her that?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED; That's right, I did the math,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hi. - Hi, I'm Dr. O'Brien."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm architect Mosby. Sorry. I just wanted to say my job, too."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Hi, I'm Ted. - Hi."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"So, what are we doing today?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Right, I have a kind of mole on my back."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's probably nothing. But I'm a cautious guy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm exactly the same."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(MIMICKING GUITAR RIFF)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Sorry about that. Summer Breeze is my guilty-pleasure song."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, yeah, it's been stuck in my head ever since I heard it this weekend"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- at brunch. - I love brunch."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"As long as I don't have to spend it with a bunch of phonies."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I like the way you think, architect Mosby."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"once my shirt's off, so I'm gonna ask you now."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Do you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's very sweet, but I'm actually getting married on Saturday."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Friday night?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Wow. You're getting married. Congratulations."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Thank you. - I'm really sorry I asked you out."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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