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Clips from How I Met Your Mother (2005) - Romance (S01E01)

"when I was still out there searching, I learned something valuable."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What happened?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(BOTH MOANING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, yeah, sorry, my bad. You're a man."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"My story's on. Ted, pay attention. Carl, turn it up."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Just ask all of my happy couples."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(MOUSE SQUEAKING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(MOUSE SQUEAKING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I really think I'm ready to stop being a me, and start being a we."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And you didn't use an obvious alias on your application"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You, I can work with."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"let's say, plus-minus five years."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"And if you feel confident that you could reel one into your boat"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(GASPS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay. Let's do this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"She said it'd take three days. It's been five days."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I should give it a few more days."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"When someone says you're gonna meet the perfect woman in three days,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"How do I say this? This is gonna be really hard."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You're messing with me, right? - Come see for yourself."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"unless you have a compatibility rating of 7.0 or higher. And look."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"5.4, 4.8, 5.6..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"There's a 9.6 right there."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Don't touch the computer."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Yes. Sarah O'Brien. I fixed her up six months ago."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Well, I believe that you saw something perfectly normal,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, this may sound weird. But it'll definitely sound more weird"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Okay. But it's not likely. I look damn good in my dress."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"beautiful, charming, intelligent, engaged."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not skip over this."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(SIGHS)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, jeez."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What do we do with it? - Calm down, I have a plan."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I didn't use to, but there was math, I got confused."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"If this thing is what you say it is, it could be huge for my career."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Robin! - What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(ALL EXCLAIMING IN PANIC)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Please, for the love of God, open the window!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(WINGS FLAPPING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Holy mother of God! It's headed this way!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"showing your photo to random pedestrians. No takers."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You just gotta get back out there and keep looking."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"then damn it, so can I!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're losing me."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"OLDER TED: Kids, before I met your mother,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That love is not a science."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Wow, that was a great story, Dad. - SON: We're gonna go watch TV."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"you just have to accept that certain things can't be explained,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and that's kind of scary."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Oh, my God. - I know, I'm still shaking."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What the... Joke's on you. I have a cold."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Are you guys okay?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Another round, and back it up for me and Lily!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- We saw something, up in the apartment. - Something bad."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I don't know what it is, but margaritas make me sexy."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, my God!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(LILY SCREAMING)"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What was it?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Only the craziest, meanest-Iooking mouse you've ever seen."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Mouse? Sweetie, that wasn't a mouse. That was a huge cockroach."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Baby, it was a mouse. It had whiskers."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What, those things coming out of his head? Those were antennae."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Marshall ran away from a cockroach. - It was a mouse."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm here with Ellen Pierce,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"New York's premiere matchmaker,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ellen, your company "Love Solutions" boasts a 100% success rate,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What's your secret? - Science,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Everything in life can be broken down to ones and zeros, even love."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"All I have to do is input the variables, run the algorithm,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"and presto manifesto, you have a soul mate and it works!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"(WHISPERING) And these are just the attractive ones."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Love Solutions' Ellen Pierce."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"A beacon of hope for New York City's lovelorn."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Robin Scherbatsky..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Was that chick at the end really a client?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Yes. - We're signing up."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What? - Ted, these chicks are desperate and hot."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That's a perfect cocktail. Shake well, then sleep with."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm not going to a matchmaker. That's like giving up."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's the man version of getting a cat."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, it wasn't a cockroach. It had fur. And only mammals have fur."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It was a cockroach."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Come on, Lily. The only way that that was a cockroach"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"is if it was wearing the skin of a mouse it just killed."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, my God!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Come on!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ted! Hurry! You got to help me, my boat is sinking."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- What? - My boat is sinking!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- You have a boat? - Yes, I bought a boat last year"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"at a police auction. I just got a call from a guy down at the marina"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"that it's leaning starboard at a 45-degree angle."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"If I don't get down there right now it's gonna capsize! Now come on!"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"We'll meet our soul mates, nail them, and never call them again."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"All finished, gentlemen?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Congratulations, you have just taken your very first step."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Gosh, thanks, Ellen. I sure hope this works."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I'm so done with the single life. All the games, the meaningless sex."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You deserve more."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"That is so true, Ellen."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Hey, is there any way I can let it be known that I love cuddling?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, of course you... That is so..."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's kind of hard to talk about with Ted here,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"when the tears come."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Ellen, can you help me find her?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Get out. - What?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"I get 15 guys like you every week."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Jerks who just wanna meet vulnerable women,"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"nail them, and never call them again."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Oh, my God, people do that?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"Do you wanna do this the easy way, or the hard way?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"What's the hard way? Security roughs me up and tosses me out?"
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, that's the easy way."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"The hard way is that I stomp the crap out of you myself."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"- Okay, Ted, let's go. - Not you. You stay."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're cute."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You're an architect. Good career."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"like your friend "Jack Package.""
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"You give me three days, and I will find the woman you will marry."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"No, thanks. I don't need an algorithm to meet women."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
"It's New York City. You know, plenty of fish in the sea."
How I Met Your Mother (2005)
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