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Clips from Family Guy - Mr. Saturday Knight (S03E03)

"I work at a toy factory. And you know what I do there?"
Family Guy
"who stands all day screwing heads on dolls."
Family Guy
"He plays in the park. Get him there."
Family Guy
"Can we listen to the claims adjuster again?"
Family Guy
"Here's Ollie Williams with the "Black You" weather forecast."
Family Guy
"Finally, we go to Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa,"
Family Guy
"interviewing a guy from the Renaissance Fair."
Family Guy
"Thanks, Tom. Sir, for those who aren't familiar with the tradition,"
Family Guy
"Ahem. "Cinderella had three wicked step-watermelons"
Family Guy
"who were very smelly to her. ""
Family Guy
""So her fairy god-toilet turned a pumpkin into a fanny"
Family Guy
"Peter, how was your presentation to Chris's class?"
Family Guy
"- It was a waste of time. - It couldn't have been that bad."
Family Guy
"Come on. You... You have a great job."
Family Guy
"We've had bad luck with guests. Remember Margot Kidder?"
Family Guy
"We loved you in the Superman movies. You were just wonderful."
Family Guy
"Mr Weed, I, uh... was wondering"
Family Guy
"if maybe you'd like to come to my house for dinner Friday night."
Family Guy
"- 7.30, 8.00? - Fabulous! What shall I bring?"
Family Guy
"Calm down. Everything will be fine."
Family Guy
"- Bet. - Bet. I knew that. Slow down."
Family Guy
"- Pit. - Pit. Come on, it's my first day."
Family Guy
"- Fat. - Oh, that's it, buddy!"
Family Guy
"That must be him."
Family Guy
"Hello, Peter. How are you?"
Family Guy
"Fine! Please come in."
Family Guy
"- State your names. - Meg!"
Family Guy
"- Chris! - And I'm Liesl."
Family Guy
"The Griffin children would like to say good night to you."
Family Guy
"Mmmm. Who would think that a woman with such beauty"
Family Guy
"would have the culinary skills of Emeril Lagasse?"
Family Guy
"Bam!"
Family Guy
"Uh, so, what kind of a name is "Weed"?"
Family Guy
"They gave it to my grandfather on Ellis Island."
Family Guy
"Our original name was Bermuda Grass."
Family Guy
"Peter, being here with your wonderful family, your beautiful home"
Family Guy
"and your funny talking dog... well, I'm impressed."
Family Guy
"Starting Monday, I'd like to promote you to head of toy development."
Family Guy
"Holy crap! Oh, thanks, Mr Weed! You won't be sorry."
Family Guy
"Brian, quit it. You're embarrassing me."
Family Guy
"Let's not panic. Nobody even knows about this yet."
Family Guy
"Police! Random dead-body search!"
Family Guy
"Just stall 'em, Lois!"
Family Guy
"Ah, thank God."
Family Guy
"- Did someone choke on a roll in here? - No, no, no. I spit it up."
Family Guy
"Oh."
Family Guy
"Our top story: Doreen, I lost your phone number."
Family Guy
"We met at the Sky Lounge last night. Call me."
Family Guy
"In other news, toy industrialist Jonathan Weed was found dead"
Family Guy
"in the home of an employee who claims Weed choked on a roll."
Family Guy
"No charges will be filed against the employee, but the roll is in custody."
Family Guy
"I'd do her, do her, wouldn't do her."
Family Guy
"Good afternoon."
Family Guy
"As you know, we of the Christian faith believe that Jesus is not really dead,"
Family Guy
"until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him."
Family Guy
"Anyway, before he died, Mr Weed promoted me to head of toy development."
Family Guy
"Isn't that right, Saul? "Yes, sir. " Thank you."
Family Guy
"Glad you all found your way from the cemetery."
Family Guy
"I'm Mr Weed's lawyer. We found this tape among Mr Weed's personal effects"
Family Guy
"with instructions that it be screened immediately after his funeral. Enjoy."
Family Guy
"Good morning. Camera time."
Family Guy
"OK, playtime is over. Turn it off, monkey, OK?"
Family Guy
"Ahem."
Family Guy
"Hello, friends. If you are watching this, I am dead, and I bet you're pretty bummed."
Family Guy
"The Happy-Go-Lucky Toy Factory shall be torn down"
Family Guy
"- What?! - The demolition will begin in... now."
Family Guy
"and all the pertinent data about your, um..."
Family Guy
"um, you know, your background"
Family Guy
"and, um... skills and..."
Family Guy
"- And? - I gotta be honest with you."
Family Guy
"I only have another week and a half here, and I have completely checked out."
Family Guy
"- Oh. - Yeah."
Family Guy
"Well, what should I do?"
Family Guy
"Um..."
Family Guy
"Chef?"
Family Guy
"Sorry, we're out of towels. Let me get that for you, sir."
Family Guy
"I should pay two bucks for stickers cos this guy can't hear? Come on!"
Family Guy
"Hey, I might be deaf, but I have feelings!"
Family Guy
"Oh, uh... I mean, what?"
Family Guy
"He's sampling a few things, searching for something that fits him just right."
Family Guy
"- Oh, my God. - Peter, get in the car!"
Family Guy
"- So you want to party or what? - Get in right now!"
Family Guy
"We'll get through this. We just have to scrimp a little."
Family Guy
"You put that dream aside in order to provide for this family."
Family Guy
"and this is the perfect time for you to pursue that dream."
Family Guy
"Wow. Since money's tight, I was gonna suggest that we eat the kids."
Family Guy
"Jokingly at first, but then I was gonna gauge your reaction."
Family Guy
"If you were cool with it, we could go from there. But this is a much better idea!"
Family Guy
"I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna realise my dream!"
Family Guy
"I am gonna be a Renaissance Fair jouster!"
Family Guy
"This is so exciting! My little jouster's first day."
Family Guy
"- Here's your lunch. - Thanks, honey. Aw, egg salad!"
Family Guy
"- Have a good time. - I'll try."
Family Guy
"Nah, not really. It kinda all goes back to when I was 18."
Family Guy
"- What is it? - It's a cheeseburger."
Family Guy
"But at that time, I was ready to believe anything."
Family Guy
"- I can fly! - Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"A word of advice. The path to knighthood is paved with strength and nobility,"
Family Guy
"not LSD and sideburns."
Family Guy
"And from that moment on, I knew someday I wanted to be a knight like him."
Family Guy
"I took so many, I thought I was Mr Peanut."
Family Guy
"Yeah, that's a great story, too."
Family Guy
"So, you think you got what it takes to be jousters!"
Family Guy
"If you're gonna joust, you gotta want it! Let me hear your war cry!"
Family Guy
"Yes. From an early age, my parents discouraged loud noises."
Family Guy
"You're a candy-ass maggot!"
Family Guy
"- Something funny, maggot? - No, sir!"
Family Guy
"The concept of a geocentric universe gets you sexually excited, doesn't it?"
Family Guy
"Yes, sir!"
Family Guy
"You want to make 16th-century mathematician Johannes Kepler your bitch?"
Family Guy
"Sir, yes, sir!"
Family Guy
"Look alive. Allow me to introduce the best of the best, the Black Knight himself!"
Family Guy
"And this is his trophy wench, Maid Madeleine."
Family Guy
"- Excuse me, Mr Black Knight. - I'm busy."
Family Guy
"I just wanted to thank you. I don't know if you remember, but when I was a kid,"
Family Guy
"Hey, porker. Yes, I'm calling you a porker, and there's nothing you can do about it"
Family Guy
"because I'm protected by my impenetrable cereal-box fort. Ha-ha-ha!"
Family Guy
"Agh!"
Family Guy
"Here you go."
Family Guy
"Maybe you shouldn't bring your lance to the table."
Family Guy
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