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Clips from Scrubs - My Point of No Return (S06E06)

"than dinkus over there becoming the godfather."
Scrubs
"A nuclear war, a sequel to Hope Floats, Hugh Jackman winning an Oscar..."
Scrubs
"Yeah, yeah, funny long list. We get it."
Scrubs
"- You need a new thing, big guy. - Oh."
Scrubs
"Sweetie, why would I get rid of him as godfather"
Scrubs
"when you keep letting me know how much it bothers you?"
Scrubs
"It's like he's never met you."
Scrubs
"- Right? - And I love Hope Floats."
Scrubs
"Not you."
Scrubs
"It's at the hospital chapel."
Scrubs
"J.D.: And then Jordan pushed Dr. Cox over the edge"
Scrubs
"by calling their daughter, little Jennifer Dylan, this."
Scrubs
"Okay, come on, J.D."
Scrubs
"- Dr. Cox. - Leave."
Scrubs
"Yes."
Scrubs
"All living things."
Scrubs
"J.D.: This might not blow over."
Scrubs
"(GROANS) Gotta hurt someone."
Scrubs
"that they can finish each other's sentences."
Scrubs
"So, there we were, hottest day of the year..."
Scrubs
"- Guess who we run into? - Also in jeans."
Scrubs
"It was Dr. J, Kim, and unless you want to hear about this for the next hour,"
Scrubs
"please change the subject."
Scrubs
"Okay, my lease is up on my apartment in Washington,"
Scrubs
"and my OB said that my mucus plug is holding firm,"
Scrubs
"and that's all I've got."
Scrubs
"Why don't you just give up that apartment? You said it's so small."
Scrubs
"Plus, I think it'd be fun if the baby was around here for a few months."
Scrubs
"Okay, I'll give it up."
Scrubs
"Incidentally, that's not the first time she's said that today,"
Scrubs
"if you know what I'm talking about."
Scrubs
"- Yes, you did. - Rowdy-style."
Scrubs
"We have to look out for that belly. It's dangerous."
Scrubs
"Listen, I have a video that you might be a little interested in watching."
Scrubs
"- J.D.: Are you sure I would? - Welcome to my world."
Scrubs
"- Tell me about it. - TURK: Okay, so it starts..."
Scrubs
"Babe, I like this tuxedo more than the one you picked out."
Scrubs
"Yeah, it looks really great, Keith,"
Scrubs
"you know, if you plan on sawing me in half at the altar and yelling,"
Scrubs
"But it's comfortable."
Scrubs
"You think that I'm gonna be comfortable in my five-inch heels"
Scrubs
"and my rib-crushing corset and my nipple tape?"
Scrubs
"Look, you have to remember this is probably the only time"
Scrubs
"that all of our closest friends and our family"
Scrubs
"So this wedding really isn't about us, okay?"
Scrubs
"- Okay. - It's about me!"
Scrubs
"Now, come on, focus."
Scrubs
"and was admitted with community-acquired pneumonia."
Scrubs
"- His doctor's creepy. - That's his wife."
Scrubs
"Men, I've gathered the brain trust"
Scrubs
"because I have been invited to Blonde Doctor's wedding."
Scrubs
"Now, none of you guys should feel bad because you weren't invited."
Scrubs
"It doesn't mean she doesn't like you."
Scrubs
"It just means that you're not one of her favorite 385 people."
Scrubs
"- I couldn't make it anyway. - You gotta have a cutoff somewhere."
Scrubs
"Now, what I need from you is gift ideas. Impress me."
Scrubs
"You could check their registry and get her some nice linens."
Scrubs
"Or I could check the boring and get her some boring boring."
Scrubs
"What the hell does that mean?"
Scrubs
"Oh, you know what I got my mom that she really loved?"
Scrubs
"That weird birth-control thing that they sew under your arm skin."
Scrubs
"Okay, highly disturbing, but you're thinking outside the box."
Scrubs
"Oh, yeah!"
Scrubs
"I didn't get beeped on my special brain trust pager."
Scrubs
"This is awkward."
Scrubs
"Look, Doug, I'm only comfortable with a three-man brain trust,"
Scrubs
"Thanks, kid."
Scrubs
"You can still come to the picnic."
Scrubs
"There you go, Lloyd. There's your pager."
Scrubs
"There's this amazing house on my delivery route"
Scrubs
"with all kinds of valuable stuff and no alarm."
Scrubs
"- We could rob it. - I'm gonna need that back."
Scrubs
"Hold on to this for a little while."
Scrubs
"So, it turns out my hospital in Tacoma"
Scrubs
"won't grant me more than a six-week leave of absence."
Scrubs
"So, just look for a job here."
Scrubs
"I'd love to have my kid in the same city."
Scrubs
"Plus, Kelso hates the urologist he hired to replace you."
Scrubs
"Hey, I love being the new urologist here,"
Scrubs
"but I'm having some trouble with my peers."
Scrubs
"Get it, "pee-ers"?"
Scrubs
"God, I hate you."
Scrubs
"I'm pretty sure."
Scrubs
"All right, I'll check it out."
Scrubs
"Raj, Rerun."
Scrubs
"Okay, Tina,"
Scrubs
"here is what I am prepared to offer you to relinquish the post of godfather..."
Scrubs
"Not interested."
Scrubs
"Effective immediately, I will stop calling you girls' names."
Scrubs
"You interested now?"
Scrubs
"Be strong, you can get more."
Scrubs
"Good thinking."
Scrubs
"What else you got, Per-Per?"
Scrubs
"I'll be able to page him 24l7!"
Scrubs
"- No deal. - What are you doing?"
Scrubs
"(GRUNTS)"
Scrubs
"Put a cherry on top."
Scrubs
"One hug."
Scrubs
"Per week."
Scrubs
"- Decade. - Month."
Scrubs
"- Year. - Done."
Scrubs
"You're welcome."
Scrubs
"J.D.: And then, as I was about to close the deal of the century, it hit me."
Scrubs
"Wait a minute."
Scrubs
"If I agree to that, I only get that stuff until you retire,"
Scrubs
"but if I'm godfather, I'm in your life forever."
Scrubs
"I'll see you at the christening."
Scrubs
"I think this time, I'm actually gonna kill him."
Scrubs
"Babe, should the valets at our reception wear green or red vests?"
Scrubs
"Doesn't matter. Why didn't you just pick one?"
Scrubs
"Because I want every detail of our wedding"
Scrubs
"to be exactly the way you want it."
Scrubs
"I have never loved you more than I do at this moment."
Scrubs
"And I want them to wear green. Forest, not lime."
Scrubs
"Got it."
Scrubs
"How did you get him to be like that?"
Scrubs
"Did you do that thing all guys want us to do but we swore we'd never do?"
Scrubs
"I'm saving that bullet for a diamond tennis bracelet."
Scrubs
"By the way, Frank's breathing was labored, so I suctioned his airway."
Scrubs
"by how you're taking care of your husband,"
Scrubs
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