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Clips from South Park - My Future Self n' Me (S06E06)

"Stan! Sure I remember you!"
South Park
"Yup, wearing that puffball hat like always!"
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"Oh, hello, boys."
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"Liver medicine?"
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"Hey, where are you going, Stan?"
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"that both your future self and my future self"
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"There has to be something..."
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"Why would he have this in his wallet?"
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"3451 Colfax Avenue."
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"Butters, part of being on an adventure"
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"is you go places you're not supposed to go."
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"And it should take about a month to achieve the results you want."
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"Well, Mr. And Mrs. Brooks,"
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"We sure hope so."
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"Ah, here he is. This is Josh Cashner,"
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"he'll be playing the role of your future son."
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"Nice to meet you, "Mom and Dad"!"
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"My goodness, he does look a little like Kevin."
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"I'm going to tell him that I dropped out of school"
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"It sure should!"
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"Make sure your son is watching the Channel Four news."
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"Motivationcorp takes care of everything."
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""Listen to me, you crazy person."
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"There's no way you can be from the future.""
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"Ooh! This is going to be fun!"
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"I can't believe it, it's all a scam!"
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"This whole time!"
South Park
"I wonder if my future self knows anything about this."
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"Hey, maybe my future self remembers this happening"
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"Those assholes aren't our future selves,"
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"But then why did they come back to the past?"
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"They didn't come back to the past, you dumbass!"
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"They're actors!"
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"Oh."
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"It is lying, Butters."
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"Your parents lied to you and my parents lied to me!"
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"Ooh, that makes me angry."
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"It's time I let you in on a horrible secret."
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"Wait right here, Stan."
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"I warn you, you may not like what you're about to see."
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"Ha ha ha haaaa!"
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"Now you know my terrible secret!"
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"We're running away!"
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""Do you want revenge for something they've done to you?"
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""for a free consultation. Results guaranteed.""
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"Hey look, somebody lost their cat."
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"of Western America?"
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"Uh, I'm really pissed off at my parents"
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"Look, you can make your wiener bigger in just three weeks."
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"Oh really? Okay, where are you located, please?"
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"Great, um, can I come by tomorrow?"
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"This lady will come and massage your wiener for $95."
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"That was easy!"
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"and they'll help me figure out how to get back at my parents."
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"Hooray!"
South Park
"I guess this is it."
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"Uh, hello? We're here about revenge on our parents?"
South Park
"Yes, come in, please."
South Park
"Cartman?!"
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"I'm running a business, Stan, are you my 11:00?"
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"Goddammit, I knew this was too good to be true."
South Park
"and pay for mistreating you then?"
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"but if you're here, I take it they pissed you off pretty good."
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"Maybe you should at least hear what I have to offer?"
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"I'm sorry, we thought this was a legitimate business."
South Park
"And it is, I assure you."
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"from the ground up."
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"How many parents have you exacted revenge upon?"
South Park
"Craig's. And Clyde's."
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"Oh, and Kyle's. But that was a freebie."
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"Look, I run a legitimate business here"
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"I know how it feels to be really, really pissed off at your parents."
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"It was just a trick to get us to not want to try drugs or alcohol."
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"God dammit."
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"See, this is exactly why I started this business."
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"Listen, parents understand one thing, and that's consequences."
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"How much is this going to cost us?"
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"How about five bucks?"
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"Well, take smoking for instance."
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"but we believe it's okay to lie about it"
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"It's okay for us to lie and tell kids"
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"Just tell me if I'm going in the right direction here."
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"What we're gonna do, Butters,"
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"and then, smear all the walls... with poop."
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"Huh! That'll make 'em awful sore!"
South Park
"I wanna find the perfect one tailored to your revenge on your parents."
South Park
"Wow, you sure are professional, Eric."
South Park
"I don't know which swatch I like best."
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"is go with baby green in the living room"
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"So what I want to do is put a note on your parents door,"
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"The note will inform them that a problem has come up"
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"discovering that no meeting is actually taking place."
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"Wow! Neat-o!"
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"Poop smearing is the hot ticket right now, Stan."
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"Just my first idea, that's why we have these consultations."
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"We'll lure your parents out of the house"
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"and then we'll kill them."
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"We'll cut them up into little pieces and feed them to a dog."
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"Well, first its not extreme enough, then it's too extreme,"
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"where do you want it?"
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"I am a professional, sir!"
South Park
"Hey, future self."
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"Yes, former self?"
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"You know that thing that I've kept hidden"
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"in the hole in the wall for two years"
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"that I've never told anybody about?"
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"You know, the thing that I take out of the shoe box"
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"Sure, uh, uh..."
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"Oh man, could you all excuse me for a second?"
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"Oh, you, you don't?"
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"No, you know what I think?"
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"See, the best way to try to motivate somebody"
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"and lies are never the right way to get your message across."
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"I think he is from the future!"
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"Yeah, he must be!"
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"No, Stan, I think the only way you're gonna get rid of him"
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"is by staying clear of drugs and alcohol!"
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"The classic brown poop is supposed to go in the parents bedroom."
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"- Arriba! Arriba! - Si, si, senor!"
South Park
"Bien, gracias. E tu?"
South Park
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