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Clips from South Park - Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow (S09E09)

"Yeah, isn't this fun? Just you and me hanging out, Stan."
South Park
"Man, I wish I could really drive this thing."
South Park
"You know how?"
South Park
"Nobody's gonna know, we'll just drive it around the marina real quick."
South Park
"Okay, turn on the ignition..."
South Park
"Ahhh!!"
South Park
"Stan, beaver dam! Very large beaver dam, Stan!"
South Park
"Oh dude.. oh Jesus.."
South Park
"What ?"
South Park
"Oh God, I hope I didn't hurt any beavers."
South Park
"Crisis and fear tonight, as what appears to be a massive flood has overtaken the town of Beaverton,"
South Park
"Colorado, home of the world's largest beaver dam."
South Park
"We-we're not sure what exactly is going inside the town of Beaverton, Tom,"
South Park
"No, no we haven't actually seen it, Tom, we're just reporting it."
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"It's George Bush's fault!"
South Park
"Mom, dad... they-they're gonna go help those people, right?"
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"You saw all those people trapped on their roofs?"
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"Hey hey, no way. We aren't the ones who built a town beneath a giant beaver dam, okay? That's their fault!"
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"Mabye they couldn't get out."
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"We did."
South Park
"Ah ah! I know what you're thinking, Stan. You're thinking you're gonna tell Kyle."
South Park
"Nothing."
South Park
"Hey everybody! They just found out what caused the flood in Beaverton!"
South Park
"But now, shocking new evidence has indicated that the flood in Beaverton was caused by... Global warming!"
South Park
"Ohh!"
South Park
"My colleagues in the scientific community are still running tests, but - we believe it may happen the day after tomorrow."
South Park
"Dad, isn't it possible the flood wasn't caused by global warming? I mean, the water was held back by a giant beaver dam after all."
South Park
"We did listen! Come on, everyone grab what you can, we have to walk."
South Park
"It's coming! Here comes global warming! We didn't listen!!"
South Park
"Come on, hurry!"
South Park
"Mom, you know, those people in Beaverton are still trapped in the flood."
South Park
"Yeah! You drive that damn SUV around. You didn't even think about global warming, did ya?!"
South Park
"Global warming isn't happening right now. It's not what caused the Beaverton flood."
South Park
"No."
South Park
"Shhh. N-Not exactly. We were messing around on this guy's new boat,"
South Park
"Dude you have to tell everyone, right now!"
South Park
"Hey Stan."
South Park
"Oh god damnit, you told Kyle didn't you?"
South Park
"Ah, here we go. See, I told you. If you're so caring, Kyle,"
South Park
"why don't you share some of your Jew gold with the people caught in the flood?"
South Park
"Why?"
South Park
"All we can do is try to wait it out, as long as we can."
South Park
"People like us, in the middle states, have to ride it out."
South Park
"I-I don't know."
South Park
"Really? Oh it's about time!"
South Park
"Oh, great. You see Stan, this is what you get for listening to Kyle."
South Park
"Stan, it's over. You have to admit what you did so your parents can help us."
South Park
"Oh my God! Where would they go?"
South Park
"Randy, Randy. Your son's on the phone."
South Park
"I'm going with you."
South Park
"You can't go out there, you'll freeze to death."
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"You can't do this alone!"
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"Steven! Steven you have to keep moving!"
South Park
"You know the plan people, we can only evacuate citizens below this line."
South Park
"Ex-excuse me, General?"
South Park
"What?"
South Park
"Not so fast, Kyle."
South Park
"What are you doing?"
South Park
"What gold?!"
South Park
"Guys come on!"
South Park
"Jews do not carry gold in a little bag around their necks, Cartman. Stop playing around."
South Park
"I'm not playing around, Kyle. If we survive this I don't intend to live in poverty. Give me your Jew gold now!"
South Park
"Dude we don't have time for your stupid jokes, we're gonna die!"
South Park
"Hand over the real Jew gold, Kyle."
South Park
"Stanley!"
South Park
"Stan? We found Stan!"
South Park
"Stop it, stop it! First it was terrorists, then George Bush and global warming"
South Park
"No, I broke the dam."
South Park
"And I broke the dam."
South Park
"Heh heh, I broke the dam, heh."
South Park
"I broke the dam."
South Park
"Dude, you were right cartman! Your uncle Roy has a sweet boat!"
South Park
"No stupid Kyle around."
South Park
"Sure I do."
South Park
"Well here... Roy keeps the keys in the glove box."
South Park
"Dude, I don't think your uncle would want us driving it."
South Park
"Look, if anything happens I'll take full responsibility."
South Park
"Awesome"
South Park
"We are not moving."
South Park
"Maybe you have the parking brake on."
South Park
"Boats don't have parking brakes, dumbass. They only have... oh wait, wait, neutral button!"
South Park
"Ahhhh!!"
South Park
"Other way, other way!"
South Park
"Jesus Christ!"
South Park
"Dude, Stan, you are in serious trouble."
South Park
"You said you'd take responsibility to your uncle Roy."
South Park
"I don't even have an uncle Roy! That was just some guy's boat I knew about."
South Park
"Look, it's okay. We weren't here. This didn't happen."
South Park
"Okay? We were both at my house, all afternoon, playing tea party. Okay? Now come on, we gotta bail!"
South Park
"Dude come on, we gotta get out of here!"
South Park
"With an eye on America and on today's events, it's South Park: Evening News, with Tom Pusslicker."
South Park
"Earlier today a break in the beaver dam, which protected the town, broke open,"
South Park
"trapping people in their houses and destroying their lives."
South Park
"Oh my gosh, those poor people!"
South Park
"Tom, I'm currently 10 miles outside of Beaverton, unable to get inside the town proper."
South Park
"We do not have any reports of fatalities yet, but we believe that the death toll may be in the hundreds of millions."
South Park
"Beaverton has only a population of about eight thousand, Tom, so this would be quite devastating."
South Park
"Any word on how the survivors in the town are doing, Mitch?"
South Park
"but we're reporting that there's looting, raping, and yes, even acts of canibalism."
South Park
"My God, you've actually seen people looting, raping and eating each other?"
South Park
"Y'all done with your fish sticks, Stan?"
South Park
"I'll help you Sharon. Boy, that's just awful."
South Park
"In the nearby town of South Park, the cause of the Beaverton flood is being investigated."
South Park
"That's right, we know whose fault this is."
South Park
"Oh oh..."
South Park
"Yeah! George Bush doesn't care about beavers!"
South Park
"George Bush didn't break that beaver dam! It was terrorists and Al-Qaeda!"
South Park
"They've been secretly building beaver dam WMD's for years now!"
South Park
"Yeah, yeah! WMD's WMD's!"
South Park
"I don't know. You know, to me it seems like the mayor of Beaverton should have done something that dam years ago."
South Park
"Don't blame the mayor, Sharon. What about FEMA? I think this whole thing is really their fault."
South Park
"Yeah, bu-but, s-somebody's gonna help the people off their rooftops, right?"
South Park
"That's not important right now, son. What's important is figuring out whose fault this is."
South Park
"Dude, dude! Did you see the news last night?"
South Park
"Yeah."
South Park
"Yeah, that was pretty funny."
South Park
"Pretty funny?! Dude we did that!! That was our fault."
South Park
"But they're trapped now and nobody's helping them."
South Park
"Well they should'a gotten out of there."
South Park
"Dude, I-I just.. I-I don't know what to do here."
South Park
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