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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy and the Trolley Problem! (S03E03)

"And to quote a poster of Bo Jackson"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"wearing a graduation cap I once saw,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Dessert spaghetti!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"How does this look? After the Post story,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Do you not like it? I was gonna wear it"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"to the launch party for Skinnygirl baby formula this weekend."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look, I know, for you, this is a whole new world."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-I feel like Jasmine. -Not Aladdin?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But I feel like all this attention is making you forget"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"what we're trying to do here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, yeah, the tigers. Of course."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, the toilet rat. It's going extinct."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Who cares? I hope it does!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's just, that weird,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"that's who I used to be,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'Cause I'm a pretty tiger now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Every minute of my life has been a struggle,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"against animal poachers and slum lords"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I know."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Your brothers nearly punch-buggied you to death."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, I'm not that kid anymore."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hiding in the attic,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So I'm sorry if I just wanna enjoy life for once."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And you should,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but does it have to be on Real Housewives?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, I gotta bring a change of clothes to the party."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The Countess is supposed to shove me into a koi pond."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I just rocked an old man's bones"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ugh, no."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Artie invited me to go to Europe with him,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and he got me a translation app on my phone"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"so I don't have to learn any of the dumb languages."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's not fair. Russ is hot."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Some of the saints were flawed in real life."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look at Francis. I don't trust a man who spends that much time with birds."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, he's gonna have to ask my parents first."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"At Greenwood Cemetery..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But is that what I want?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Was shot in the face by you, Lillian!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, he died, didn't he?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Do you know what this is?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I know. Because my brothers..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I do."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I know. They tormented you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So you've always stood up for the less fortunate,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"the unloved, the little guy,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, no!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm sorry, but if you're gonna remember"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, don't hit me!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What's happening?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ooh, I am so proud of you,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"going from dud to stud like this!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We couldn't believe it when we saw your picture in Hot Beef."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's a magazine that Flash and I use"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"to get pumped for workouts."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, boy, this is a lot to take in."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Said the tailor."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I've asked you not to call me that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I was trying to explain utilitarianism to my friends..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And I really beefed it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Like, if you see someone with no shoes, you should give them yours."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Girl, no one wants your Swedish-ass shoes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Or, if you had a pizza, you'd give it to people who were starving."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Nope. - Right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So if I have a story that could really help people,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Real Ivy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"in the real world, there'd just be this, like, pile of organs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But no. Utilitarianism--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Is just one theory."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"which says something totally different,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"being selfish is the only true morality."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Philosophy is... dumb."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So I don't have to tell people about my stuff if I don't want to."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"John Stuart Mill said"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"taking "sufficient enjoyment" in life"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"is actually necessary to act morally,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"which is the part of it that the wife"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, I've gotta run."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If I get fired from BunCo,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'll have to go back to working the booth for SafetyTube."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's just an inferior product."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Damn it, Russ."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I meant to bring Lappy for you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I swear I had him in the car a..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, there you are, Lappy!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Say hi to Russ!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Yeah. - Okay."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Are you actually enjoying this?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"These people are the bad guys."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Speaking of which, you can do better, son."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I know,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but... they're my family,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and they're being nice to me..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and I don't care why."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But they're monsters."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"to be the new face of the Washington Gun-Takers."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Good idea, son."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I mean, me... on Lappy!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That kid in the attic,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"what do you think he was whispering into those shells?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't ruin this, Russ."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I was trying to fix you,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I don't wanna be a Snyder."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Snyders... to the blimp pad."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"depending on the wind."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but it's your reward."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and strong"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and I can do anything."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I cooked."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Meemaw?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But we're going in different directions."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All right, phone, you think you know everything?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"funky late husband Roland Peacock?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, "Live at the Brown Note.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I remember that show."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"--Thank you, thank you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Now, this next sloppy jam goes out to my old lady, Lillian."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, I plan on spending the rest of my life with that freaky sister,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"whether it's 100 years or she shoots me in the face tomorrow."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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