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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy and the Trolley Problem! (S03E03)

"Either way, this song is about me dying first."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"A Turkey Dinner."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Close parentheses." Here we go."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I shot him that night."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Thank you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hey, Artie."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, no."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hotsy-totsy Liberace. I've killed another one."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So all you Xan-Heads out there,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"please give a warm welcome to Kimmy Schmidt."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Thank you, Xan."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"trying to bury her wet sheets in the garden has a TV show."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No! Why?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Just tell us what happened to you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Of course not. Oh, you bitch."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I know that sharing my story might help"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"some of the millions of people watching right now,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And I don't have to share it if I don't want to."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"As Judge Mills Lane said,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""You have to take some fishing enjoyment.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wow."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Whatever that was originally, we'll never know."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and I guess I'll keep doing it one person at a time."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Is that why your friend is here with a bag of wigs?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, welcome to the golden age of television."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"you sure do meet a lot of characters."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'll never forget the day"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Miss Marilyn Monroe come to town."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No time to say both your names. He's dead."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Can I have his stuff?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You sure spend a lot of time in your tenants' apartment."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Is it okay with them?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're... alive."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We don't know he's not a zombie."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mr. Goodman, say something only an alive person would say."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay, uh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"you know you're in a golden age of television"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You didn't have a pulse."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ah, look, I didn't want to worry you,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Like Dick Cheney had, but mine was replacing something."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Anyway, there's a continuous flow of blood,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"so there's no pulse."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So you gotta have that machine in your chest forever,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Maybe that's why I love technology."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and I can watch a TV show while recording two others."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The doctors say I could have a year, maybe two."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Or it could be a month. So..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, don't make this about you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm gonna miss you so much, Lillian's friend."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All right, now, this next one is called"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Parentheses Twist.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We got about eight minutes left."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm worried I'm not being a good enough person."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, asking those questions is what philosophy is all about."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"CTV? My favorite show is the dining hall menu."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What if, instead, I talked about my style icons?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All right, Xan, I'll do it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's called Profiles."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, the doctor said I could shop at regular clothing stores now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ooh, hey, hot stuff."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Listen..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but with Russ, I feel like I am finally getting my reward."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And do what?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Where are you?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's called... the Javits Center."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm so embarrassed, Russ."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's not who I am anymore."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"...from extinction."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If you really think it's a good idea."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and that thumb I found--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Your music video was long."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mom, what are you doing?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm just a wealthy lawyer who became hot while he was in a coma."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"it needs to be for, like,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"wicker baskets at a beach house"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Why?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Then don't. -Yeah."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Your reward is participating"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Says who?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Give your extra shoes to a spider."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Donate all your organs, 'cause, yeah, you die,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I really feel like people are gonna expect a vest."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimmy's on TV."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Now you're going to Europe."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"is a big part of who you are, and I don't want to lose him."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and that's why your family is on their way up here right now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What? Can't a father hug his son?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"...would say that a truly moral person"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Of course, if everyone did that"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The team needs a new head of PR,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and I want this face"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Think of the exposure for the team."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I thought you turning into a hottie with a body, trademark Titus,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Answer me this:"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"of my sweet,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Artie?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Good evening. I'm Xanthippe Voorhees."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"My guest tonight is a symbol of courage and hope."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but it's still my story."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Starting right now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Did I not bring it?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but I have an LVAD machine in my heart."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's too late."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I know."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It was cheese!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"you should give away everything that you have."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Is it called She-lumbia?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So they can't even walk."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And then you have to"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, Xan has a TV show--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay, how do you do that?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Or how about tigers?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wait, now I'm picturing being with Artie."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"This is what I found on the web for Roland Peacock."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And welcome to the first-ever episode of Profiles."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But the LVAD, it's not a permanent fix."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I wanna take a river cruise with you and a bunch of other couples"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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