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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy and the Trolley Problem! (S03E03)

"and from the looks of this place,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I just assumed we were in Dallas... or Houston."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"There are still Hillary balloons in the ceiling."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, it's good to see you, but I'm kinda on the clock,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Talk about what happened"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Huh..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Talking about bunkers and my mom's phone number."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I don't like it here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look at my new door-opening strength."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Like it's nothing!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Actually, it's for you from Andy Cohen at... Bravó!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, no."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look, after my divorce,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I was not at my best."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I ate leftovers."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I signed up for JDate, Christian Mingle, and what turned out to be"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"an ISIS recruitment site,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and in a particularly low moment,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The only thing that never goes out of style"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"is being in it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wait till you meet my assistant, Kimberly."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Are we doing a Harlem Shake?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Get small, muchachos."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-- Wait, I know that show."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"after one of those women threw a Skinnygirl hot toddy on his crotch."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Because of you, the woman on that tape is dead."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Boy, I wish that was the first time that had been said to a Snyder."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Now the only reality show I care about"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"is providing affordable dental care"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"to young women all over the world who busted."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Or..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"saving this guy..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, we're trying to use the scientific name,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hispaniolan solenodon."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's not easy to get people to care about this little fella"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and his unquenchable thirst for human poop."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, if you really want to get the word out,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, it would raise awareness."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Certainly more than the Rat Bucket Challenge."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-That did not work. -No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So let's just meet with this guy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Did you buy more copies of today's Post?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, it's just..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"how often does the newspaper say you went from "dud to stud"?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"They also said I went from "slop job to top dog,""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""fugly to snuggly," "hot mess to great vest.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's not a great paper."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I sanded mine off after the Lufthansa heist,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Lillian, this thing is gonna solve all your problems."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You can use it to feed your cats with this automatic cat feeder."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""For if you ever leave your apartment.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And you can check on your stuff with this wireless security camera."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hey, this thing has night vision."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Maybe now I can finally catch that ghost."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Or realize it's just Titus stealing your food in a sheet."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, that's what you think."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And this is a mini 3-D printer."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but when we get to Stockholm,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's a bus pass. It's a key. It's a hammer."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mm..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Everybody leave."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, I'm certainly flattered that you liked my tape."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Imagine there's music."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wah, wah."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You have to remember, that was months ago."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Honestly, Jacqueline, you didn't even get on our gaydar,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, no, no, no."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, all I really want is to have a legal marriage with this woman."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wow-wowee-wow."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well said, Samjamin."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look, the only reason we're even here"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"is to get exposure for a very important charity."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Sure, I have a charity that pays hotels"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"to not recommend restaurants I love to tourists."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, the Hispaniolan solenodon..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, thank you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Ugh, she busted!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If you're gonna talk about a charity,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"or the way Cate Blanchett carries herself."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""Rawr" comes to mind."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What do tigers have to do with saving the toilet rat?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You save the apex predator, you save the ecosystem."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But tigers don't live in Haiti."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Tigers go on boats,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and wait, I forget, do boats go to Haiti?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Looks like we have a deal."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-All right, Cyndee-- -Oh, hang on."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You've got loose shrimp in here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Now everyone said "shrimp" except me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Shrimp! -All right, how do I do this?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"How do I talk about "you know who""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""you know what-ing" me"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"while we were in the "you know where"?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay, when you meet Alex Trebek,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"don't get freaked out that he has legs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What? No, I know people have legs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Lieutenant Dan doesn't."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Cyndee,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The key is being able to cry on cue."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Imagine you're biting into a delicious stick of butter"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and then it's just cheese."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Wow, Chandler, Kimmy? -Not Chandler. That's uncalled for."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look, I don't want to do Xan's show."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Because of the money."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"in television's current golden age."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So if going on TV will do that, then I don't have a choice."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Uh, I don't know. Philosophy?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but you save, like, 100 people."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So that's philosophy?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, if everyone donated"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and there'd just be, like, a pile of organs."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I must not be explaining it right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look, if a trolley--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Doesn't sound like you did."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Sick burn, Cyndee. I like you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I don't know how to explain this stuff to you two."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You know what? Come to class with me tomorrow."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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