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Clips from The Simpsons - Holidays of Future Passed (S23E23)

"But she's our lead singer, mate."
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"I'm sorry, but recent research has shown"
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"that the umbilical cord is also a vocal cord."
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"Now can you tell me who the father is?"
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"Mmm..."
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"I'd like to watch a football match."
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"I see you are reading a children's book,"
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"yet your profile indicates you are a mature adult."
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"Shut up!"
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"Oh, Marge, how would you like some future sex?"
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"Why do you say future? This is now."
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"I meant a week from tomorrow."
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"That's when the new penis gets here."
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"Ooh, a B-mail!"
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"She's coming home for Christmas!"
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"And Bart's bringing the boys."
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"And Lisa's coming with Zia."
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"For once, the whole family's going"
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"to be here for the holidays!"
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"Hey, I got a B-mail, too."
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""You have won a valuable prize. Open now.""
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"Don't open it, Homie. It's a virus."
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"Too late. I..."
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"Ho... ho... ho."
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"Wow, Dad, that's really impressive."
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"Yeah, after I stopped drinking,"
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"this was a way to stay close to my bottles."
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"I'd smash 'em all for one lousy beer!"
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"they still haven't figured out a away"
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"to detangle Christmas lights."
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"Mom's boyfriend is good at detangling them."
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"Well, maybe Mom should marry him."
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"- She did. - We weren't supposed to tell you."
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"Your mother remarried?"
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"Hey, Grampa, you gonna build a snowman?"
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"No, I just like to dress up to eat my carrots and smoke."
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"Dad, can you take the boys out for a while?"
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"I don't feel so good."
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"Thanks for spending so much time with us, Dad."
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"Who wants to go the park and ride the merry-go-nowhere?"
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"I can't believe she got married and I have no one."
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"It's so hard to find somebody new."
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"Sure is. That's why after Homer accidentally killed Edna,"
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"I married Maude's ghost."
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"There is no God, Neddy."
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"It's just an empty meaningless void."
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"Oh, ma'am, you really shouldn't teleport when you're pregnant."
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"I'm afraid your only choice is..."
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"If you are seated in an exit row,"
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"please hold the door shut for the duration of the flight."
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"Sure, I'd love to..."
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"only not with you and not that."
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"Sometimes I wish strangling your kid was still legal."
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"Not since they passed Homer's Law."
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"Oh, honey, why don't you just relax and bake something?"
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"Ugh! I am trying to deal with my disrespectful daughter,"
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"but you are too clueless"
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"to understand what that's like."
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"Uh-huh."
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"Oi. Can I get a pillow for my head?"
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"Suicide pills? Mohawk gel?"
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"Turkey and Brie wrap?"
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"Do you have any dog food left?"
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"Oh, oh, oh, could I have the whole can?"
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"Hey, sweetie."
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"Marge said there was some family tension."
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"And at Christmas, of all times."
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"My daughter thinks I'm a ruthless tyrant,"
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"Bloody Harry."
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"He brought back beheading in a big way."
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"Now I'm gonna show these boys downtown Springfield."
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"Ooh, isn't that a little dangerous?"
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"Oh, don't worry. I have my invisibility cloak."
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"Now, where did I put it?"
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"Oh."
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"♪ It's against the law ♪"
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"♪ What the mama saw ♪"
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"What are you after?"
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"♪ The papa said, "Oy, if I get that boy" ♪"
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"♪ Well, I'm on my way ♪"
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"♪ I don't know where I'm going ♪ - Release the hounds."
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"♪ I'm on my way... ♪"
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"Oh, we're almost at Evergreen Terrace, miss."
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"Hey, didn't I go to jail with your brother?"
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"Contractions?"
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"Computer, hospital."
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"Well, looks like"
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"I'm gonna have to do this the old-fashioned way."
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"Gloves, hospital."
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"Eh, why not?"
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"Should I have married Nelson?"
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"Nelson calls you?"
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"Well... someone calls someone."
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"The boys think I'm a lousy father."
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"My daughter thinks I'm a lousy mother."
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"Sorry."
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"Eh, it's okay."
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"But you know who took her side?"
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"Marge Bouvier Simpson."
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"What'd she do?"
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"She told me to relax and bake cookies."
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"- Did you bake any? - Yes, I did."
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"And they were some of the best cookies ever made in this house."
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"Well, Mom kept her hands off you"
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"and you turned out great. - You think so?"
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"Maybe it's the court-mandated sincerity chip"
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"I got in my brain, but, Lis,"
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"Aw..."
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"I gotta reconnect with those boys."
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"Godspeed, Bart."
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"I'm going to go apologize to Mom."
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"Our consciousness was a secret for thousands of years."
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"Then one pine tree had to open his sappy mouth."
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"Back in position!"
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"Mom, you're the best."
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"Oh, sweetie."
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"I've been waiting to hear you say that for so long."
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"Oh, you could have waited till morning."
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"Mmm..."
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"Hey, guys. Want to watch Krusty?"
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