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Clips from 30 Rock - 100: Part 1 (S05E05)

"Lemon, Hank Hooper is on his way up from Philadelphia,"
30 Rock
"and he wants to meet with both of us."
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"I like to look someone in the eye and smile"
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"The numbers are killing me."
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"We got on Wikipedia this week."
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"Thank you, Lemon."
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"What Liz is neglecting to tell you is that Tracy Jordan is back."
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"if you would let them do the 100th episode"
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"and then reevaluate the show with Tracy in it."
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"They're mean."
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"Is Tracy back? I'd hate to think I just lied to Hank."
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"a list of African-American hair products."
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"Well, you just need to turn the beautiful butterfly back"
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"And I have a plan."
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"So, Tracy Jordan,"
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"Happy 100th show, Ms. Maroney."
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"Give me back my man, bitch!"
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"I'll never forget what you said to me after that first show, Ms. Maroney."
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"I was so young."
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"Well, it's been 100 episodes,"
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"It would be horrible!"
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"A baby gets you attention."
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"Okay, listen up, friends."
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"Look, we've been through bad times before."
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"Riding straight to hell!"
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"Here come the roofies."
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"Great. Damn it!"
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"Why am I showing you guys this? It's going to jinx everything."
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"Now, I may not be the head of GE,"
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"I've got other things going on too, you know?"
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"or even death."
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"Evacuate the 6th floor."
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"Boy, you know, over the past 5 years,"
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"Thank you."
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"Pete."
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"You know The Girlie Show was working just fine,"
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"What? What about the show?"
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"Just follow these... troll penises!"
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"Please welcome Tracy Jordan."
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"about your post-Oscar trip to Africa."
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"I didn't go to Africa."
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"That's actually very brave, don't you think?"
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"It's new hair cuts,"
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"This is Today on NBC."
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"I'm so beloved, I could do no wrong."
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"Now, everyone's after me."
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"See that's the kind of lazy standup I'll never do again!"
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"Tracy, just come back."
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"Because you're full of B.S., Liz Lemon!"
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"And then you'll get your old life back, trust me."
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"Jenna, think about this. You will have a child..."
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"Who will grow up to be a little gay fancy man."
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"Then I can go home to my sweetheart."
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"Here we go."
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"Damn it! I'm getting to old for this "shh" sound"
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"that comes from this gas pipe."
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"The question is, who are you?"
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"I'm still magnificent."
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"in which I followed our plan for world domination."
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"I wore this on the January cover of Meetings magazine."
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"You used to be a shark."
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"Sharks don't have claws."
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"You don't even know what a shark is anymore!"
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"And do you know why?"
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"- No. - Liz Lemon."
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"that Lemon was a black hole unworthy of our mentorship."
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"You're approving 'TGS' wrapped gifts,"
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"It's when two fat people..."
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"To us?"
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"The gas leak has spread to this floor."
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"Oh, okay."
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""Tracy Jordan saves drowning man"?"
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"Why is Tracy off rescuing people?"
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"Why isn't he here?"
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"and then he kissed it, and then he ate it."
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"Where's my computer?"
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"Cerie, did you not bring my computer down?"
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"You said you were writing."
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"I've only seen you use that computer to look at pictures of Nate Perkins."
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"Ah, pwomp!"
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"They'd have to kiss..."
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"What just happened?"
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"And do you know whose fault that is?"
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"You'd rather be doing The Girlie Show"
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"What? Flashback, please."
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"Yeah, you bet."
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"No, no, you can't fire Liz. This show is her life!"
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"Pete."
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"And then a week later you're like, "Oh, I want to mentor you."
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"Unlikely friendship." Who do you think you are?"
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"I should have fired you from my life!"
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"The MSG is delicious today."
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"Of course not! And I'd be a terrible father."
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"I mean, what if we had a child that was prettier than us?"
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"I love you, Jenna Maroney."
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"of a Greyhound bus with just a bowl of dirty water."
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"But I don't know."
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"I mean, Kenneth Parcell may be the only man in the world"
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"who thinks you should have a child."
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"Break's over, Paul."
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"I was in my 30s and everything!"
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"Waaaz aaap!"
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"Okay, I did call you, but I was not in my right mind."
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"That I made at a time in my life when I could afford to make mistakes."
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"Okay, gang, they fixed the gas leak, they're airing out the studio,"
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"Whoa, hold on a second."
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"And we didn't give up"
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"when Ireland then just set us adrift on a log, all right?"
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"Come on, it's not over, Liz!"
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"I was in the middle of bidding on a bag of bras on eBay."
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"I saw that in a movie once, but in the movie, the guy was dead."
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"Nice tie, Jack."
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"How long have you been there?"
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"I was sitting in that chair a minute ago."
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"Nope. That was me. What can I say."
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"And you must be Elizabeth Lemon."
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"when I say that what you're doing is bad."
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"It's just horrible."
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"Without Tracy, your show is like my cholesterol."
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"So I'm going to cancel 'TGS'."
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