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Clips from The Simpsons - My Mother the Carjacker (S15E15)

"Yum, yum. I think I'd like some whipped cream on my Wyoming."
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"From what? Too much hot fudge?"
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"Come on, Bart. Show me some love."
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"(LAUGHS)"
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"(READING)"
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"I'll put that in the "maybes.""
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""World's biggest pizza"?"
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"I wish! Look at this headline!"
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"Someone or something knows I love"
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"oversized food and short punchy articles."
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""Homer, meet me 4th street overpass midnite.""
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"Wait a minute. This is today's paper! That meeting is tonight!"
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"You always go with your gut."
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"That's why I don't listen to my brain."
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"And away we go!"
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"(GROANS)"
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"Psst. Hey, pal. Hey, buddy. Wake up."
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"No."
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"There's coffee in the thermos."
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"This is boring. Can't we go home?"
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"Fresh urine!"
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"MONA: Homer Simpson?"
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"(HOMER SCREAMING)"
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"MONA: Still my little crybaby."
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"I'll save you, Dad! Karate!"
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"Oh, Bart."
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"Are you still a little hell-raiser?"
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"Mom, you're back!"
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"Just like you were back before. Then you left me again."
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"Homer, you're hugging a bum."
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"Hey, gimme back my wine!"
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"but the government is still after me"
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"for what I did in the '60s."
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"They're probably tapping your phones and reading your mail."
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""Dear Die Hard, you rock!""
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"and planted that story about the giant pizza."
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"You sure know me, Mom."
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"Pizza was the first food he choked on."
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"Aw..."
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"I saw this macaroni pencil holder Homer made me,"
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"and I realized how much I missed him."
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"I made this when I was five."
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"I had to do something. Your pencils were all over the place."
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"Hey, Joe! Your girlfriend sleeps with Tyrone Power!"
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"Cora, is there a back way outta here?"
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"Right through there, Santa Claus."
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"I will never ever let the police get their hands on you!"
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"Remember me as a drain on society."
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"Captured '60s radical, Mona J. Simpson, goes on trial today"
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"on decades-old charges of sabotaging"
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"the C. Montgomery Burns Germ Warfare Lab."
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"For those of you too young to remember the '60s,"
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"You bet your sweet bippy."
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"What a shrill, pointless decade."
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"During her years on the I am, Simpson led an exemplary life"
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"working as a crossing guard, oral historian, reader for the blind,"
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"in a 19th century woodcut,"
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"and germ warriors everywhere!"
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"Now, Lisa, would you agree that your"
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"grandmother is a sweet, harmless woman"
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"who could hardly be considered a menace to society?"
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"Judge, do you have a little sister?"
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"Yes."
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"She used to call me "Fatty Boomalatty.""
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"Thank you, Your Honor."
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"Your Honor, can you please focus on the case at hand?"
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"Now, I'm not a man who's good with words."
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"You gotta say something. She's looking at 20 years!"
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"And my legal license expires in 15 minutes."
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"I barely know my mother."
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"And when a man doesn't have his mother, he winds up like me."
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"ALL: Aw..."
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"I mean, I'm due back in this same courtroom three times today."
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"Hell, I torched a blood bank! One cookie, my ass!"
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"Please, please give me back my mommy!"
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"Your Honor, there is no way we can find this defendant guilty!"
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"And the Quality lnn more than lived up to its name..."
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"Case dismissed!"
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"an honor bar I was honored to use..."
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"And Peggy in the coffee shop, what a pistol."
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"A mere nod in her direction,"
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"The jets in the whirlpool anticipated my every move"
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"Oh, Mom, I'm so happy! I never want to let you go!"
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"Mom, I never want to let you go!"
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"I'm not your mother."
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"Look, lady. Just keep hugging till we get to Mexico."
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"Mother."
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"Go hug your floozy."
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"This is America! Justice should favor the rich!"
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"Sir, maybe you could use a few huffs from your ether bottle."
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"(INHALES DEEPLY)"
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"Oh, man, that's good E."
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"Well, now that I'm free, I intend to be a better mother to my son."
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"Woo-hoo! I can be a little boy again!"
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"A boy who gets some on the side."
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"Baby! Now you're free to come back to me."
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"Dad, you testified against her."
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"I read a book that said women like jerks."
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"Look, Mom! Look! I'm riding by myself!"
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"(CAR HORN)"
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"(GRUNTING AND GROANING)"
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"(MIMICKING BABY CRYING)"
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"Ain't I cute? You owe me a dirt bike."
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"Hey, guys. I brought my mom."
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"Lenny Leonard? I haven't seen you since you were this high."
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"I can jump off the high dive!"
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"Carl Carlson."
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"I remember when you, Lenny and Stevie McGregor"
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"Mrs. Simpson, when you took off,"
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"you left a hole in Homer's heart"
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"Homer, it's perfect."
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"Doesn't this armoire belong to Mr. Flanders?"
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"You stole this entire room from Ned Flanders' house!"
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"Oh, well, you snooze, you lose."
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"But could I have my photo albums back?"
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"I hereby rename the Burns Germ Warfare Lab,"
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"the Grandma Simpson Peace Museum"
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"Grandma Simpson, will you be the first"
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"to sign the museum's guest book?"
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"It'd be a real pleasure."
The Simpsons
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