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Clips from The Simpsons - My Mother the Carjacker (S15E15)

"D'oh!"
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"it's too nice a day to be outside doing chores."
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"Come in and watch TV."
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"Mom finally stopped caring!"
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"(LISA SCREAMING)"
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"The irrepressible 100-year-old skydiver"
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"This week's Oops Patrol T-shirt goes to..."
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"Mom made the Oops Patrol! Hot damn!"
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"What an amusing T-shirt, Marge."
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"I'll trade you for a tote bag that says "Prozac.""
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"Come on! Give me that shirt!"
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"Honey, this is your moment in the sun."
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"(WHIMPERS)"
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"(GROANS)"
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"Okay, get ready to laugh."
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""Cranford man missing.""
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"What's he missing? His pants? A train? Gimme a break!"
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""Drought threatens to turn west into dessert"!"
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"(LAUGHS)"
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"(READING)"
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"No."
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"I gotta get that T-shirt."
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"Marge, wake up! The newspaper's talking to me!"
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"So they hid a message in the first letter of each line. See?"
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"Don't tell me you're actually going."
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"But sometimes you've just gotta go with your gut."
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"This time, why don't you listen to your brain?"
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"You want to go on an adventure with your old man?"
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"You have no choice."
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"They all do."
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"(ZIPS PANTS)"
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"(BOTH SCREAM)"
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"I love you so much! But it's so hard for me to trust you."
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"I know. I'm working my way up to you."
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"I think the government has better things to do than to read my mail."
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"Most people write letters to movie stars."
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"This Simpson guy writes to movies!"
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""Especially when that guy was on the roof.""
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""P.S. Do you know Mad Max?""
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"Hey, it was the '60s."
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"Is that fugitive radical Mona Simpson?"
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"Yeah. And that's Tokyo Rose mopping the floor."
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"Chief, I think we've got a match here."
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"All right. Let's check it out."
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"Hey, Chief, I checked with the union. You can only do that once."
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"Oh."
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"Mom, I swear on your eventual grave,"
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"You guys are damn lucky."
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"All you destroyed were bricks, mortar and attorneys."
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"here's our stock montage."
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"listener for the deaf and reacher for the short."
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"that this woman is a menace to decent people"
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"End communication."
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"Definitely. If you ask me, she's far less dangerous than Bart."
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"If it please the court, I would like to go ape on my sister."
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"I object. Judge, sidebar?"
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"Very well."
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"And every time I see her, she's taken away again."
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"Although I will miss the jury room cold cuts."
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"Curse that groovy granny!"
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"And I want you to see it."
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"that he's been trying to fill with alcohol for 20 years."
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"Welcome to your room, Mom."
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"Now get out of my house!"
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"And so in the spirit of fence-mending and grudge-not-bearing,"
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"and Kid-teractive Learnatorium."
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"I always had to sign a fake name,"
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"Indeed, how about a national park?"
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"Why yes."
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"What's going on?"
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"Don't take her away!"
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"(TIRES SCREECHING)"
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"You're right. People should only"
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"Now just the innocent!"
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"Now just the really innocent!"
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"'cause I'm getting executed when I get off."
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"till we find one that'll stop that bus."
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"Ha-ha, loser!"
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"Geez, pal."
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"Mom, I love you. I can't let you go to prison."
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"Take care, ladies. I'm sure you can"
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"You're all right, Donut Breath."
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"(SIRENS BLARING)"
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"BOTH: D'oh!"
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"Granny to the Man. Granny to the Man."
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"Then listen to me, lady. The only way"
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"you're getting off this mountain is in a box"
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"Pipe down, Jules Verne."
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"So for the next five minutes, this is a rescue mission."
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"Make that a salvage mission."
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"I couldn't sleep because I thought"
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"They never did find her body."
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"I am o... Kay."
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"before it plunged off the cliff."
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"I never knew there was such a thing."
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"(SCREAMING) (BRAKES SCREECHING)"
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"Don't go inside! It's a trap!"
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"Yes, she must have some kind of super-chore in there."
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"Like getting the rat out of Maggie's room."
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"I'm not fooling around, people."
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"Park your keisters in front of that TV!"
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"Now!"
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"This counts as a bath!"
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"will be buried as soon as his body is found."
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"Now, it's time for the Channel 6 Oops Patrol!"
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"This week, one eagle-eyed viewer"
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"spotted this hilarious headline."
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"Mayor unveils erection to cheering crowd."
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"Whom? Whom?"
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"Mrs. Marge Simpson of Springfield!"
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"Ta-dah!"
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"Bart, you're not at school, don't swear."
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"No, thanks. I'm wearing my cure for depression."
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"My heart is fine."
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"It could always be a little better."
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"Why was I born?"
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"Oh, T-shirt, bless the loom that fruited you."
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"(GASPS) Homer!"
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"HOMER: Gotta win a T-shirt. Gotta win a T-shirt."
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"Too soon, huh? All right."
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