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Clips from Scrubs - My Identity Crisis (S07E07)

"Turk, you are full of surprises."
Scrubs
"- He's here to kill you. - Kill me?"
Scrubs
"Sure I will. Turk's letting me raise lzzy."
Scrubs
"Because the last thing a guy wants to see when he's in a splash pool"
Scrubs
"I always dream in Spanish."
Scrubs
"Hey, want to come live with Aunt Elliot?"
Scrubs
"Hey, don't steal those babies."
Scrubs
"- Sure, sure. Yeah. - I used to make my own toys"
Scrubs
"as a matter of fact, and I would take the toilet paper rolls"
Scrubs
"make a little money on my own, you know?"
Scrubs
"But no one bought any"
Scrubs
"Missed a spot."
Scrubs
"I want to, like, rub my fingers in."
Scrubs
"One sec, ma'am."
Scrubs
"I came to tell you I'm taking the kids to my mother's for the weekend."
Scrubs
"And seeing that you're not allowed within 40 feet of her house..."
Scrubs
"- The restraining order. - Christmas memories."
Scrubs
"Anyhoo, you're staying here."
Scrubs
"If they do this at all sporting events, I'm gonna start going."
Scrubs
"Check out my little African princess."
Scrubs
"Good."
Scrubs
"And then Mommy will sing you a lullaby"
Scrubs
"That's how you say "hello," right?"
Scrubs
"that I can already hear blubbering on the phone,"
Scrubs
""Oh, Perry, I miss you so.""
Scrubs
"- Hi, Perry. - No, Newbie, get out!"
Scrubs
"- Well, I thought it could be fun. - Get out. No."
Scrubs
"You know something? You look just like a nurse"
Scrubs
"Oh, yes, she does. I feel like I'm looking at Laverne again."
Scrubs
"See you in a bit, Lavernagain. Lavernagain!"
Scrubs
"Baby, you can't just speak Spanish to my little African princess."
Scrubs
"She's not your little African princess."
Scrubs
"Baby, that's a little wordy."
Scrubs
"I will do the same for lzzy"
Scrubs
"and speaking Spanish is a huge part of that."
Scrubs
"Turk, I was referring to the Dominican Republic."
Scrubs
"J.D., drink some water."
Scrubs
"There's nowhere else to sit so you can drop the scary stare."
Scrubs
"It doesn't work on me any more."
Scrubs
"Hell, Bob here is living at the hospital because Enid kicked him out."
Scrubs
"Who are you?"
Scrubs
"Barbie, please stop lumping us in together."
Scrubs
"I'm a Scorpio, a registered Independent, a foodie, a Parrothead."
Scrubs
"I hate it."
Scrubs
"Of course I do."
Scrubs
"Well, she never told me her real name, but I like Lavernagain."
Scrubs
"And Snoop, I had hoped you'd legally changed your name to Snoop."
Scrubs
"Okay, you can get this one."
Scrubs
"Man of the people, indeed."
Scrubs
"Still, the only person's feelings"
Scrubs
"you can truly hope to know are your own."
Scrubs
"Daddy, Grandma says you once peed in her garden."
Scrubs
"Guilty."
Scrubs
"'Cause I made Jack dial and you and I didn't speak."
Scrubs
"It only gets complicated"
Scrubs
"since we both found out that we're nervous pooers."
Scrubs
"even someone with their ear to your door can't hear it when you foofy."
Scrubs
"Interesting. Tell you what, when she gets back"
Scrubs
"you two ought to think about having a crazy-off."
Scrubs
"It's okay. I'm used to it."
Scrubs
"Say, Ted, these are all just blank pieces of white paper."
Scrubs
""everyone knows I'm a fraud and I have egg on my face" Dorian."
Scrubs
"That's your clever new nickname."
Scrubs
"'cause Turk told me it was a special new mouthwash you could swallow."
Scrubs
"all 216 bones in the human body."
Scrubs
"There's only 206 bones in the human body."
Scrubs
"Well, it appears I learned 10 more than I needed to."
Scrubs
"Hi. Help."
Scrubs
""everybody knows I'm a fraud and I have egg on my face" Dorian."
Scrubs
"Very funny."
Scrubs
"Who is this?"
Scrubs
"- Do you really want to know? - Do I?"
Scrubs
"I knew it. Look at how much you don't want to be alone."
Scrubs
"You're actually helping out the guy who you claim annoys you the most."
Scrubs
"Elliot, it's been seven years. I think we all know I don't annoy him."
Scrubs
"Heck, I'd bet that Perry would admit"
Scrubs
"Yep. Just helping out a friend."
Scrubs
"I do need to learn more about my heritage,"
Scrubs
"so I called my mom and she said somehow, distantly,"
Scrubs
"Turk, that's George Washington Carver."
Scrubs
"He didn't invent peanuts. He just thought up uses for them."
Scrubs
"I'm talking about the little foam packaging peanuts."
Scrubs
"Baby!"
Scrubs
"My best friend is a very, very white girl from Connecticut."
Scrubs
"Look, if who I am keeps slipping away from me,"
Scrubs
"It's bad enough that when people look at my daughter,"
Scrubs
"Now I can't function for a week without Jordan and the kids."
Scrubs
"special friends to help you through this."
Scrubs
"I'm sorry you had to see me like that."
Scrubs
"Honest to God, I..."
Scrubs
"And just like that,"
Scrubs
"Who am I?"
Scrubs
"- Who the hell is that? - It's Skip, the gynaecologist."
Scrubs
"Oh, you mean the giant jackass that nobody could stand to be around"
Scrubs
"for more than 20 seconds?"
Scrubs
"Well, guess what? You're still him."
Scrubs
"Only now when you go home there's actually people there"
Scrubs
"that are happy to see you."
Scrubs
"I just think it's hilarious that you think"
Scrubs
"you could stop being a proud Latin woman."
Scrubs
"who wants a big favour has to ask you in Spanish."
Scrubs
"So we got a daughter"
Scrubs
"Brandon."
Scrubs
"Correct."
Scrubs
"Okay. Snoop Dogg Attending."
Scrubs
"No. It was a great dream."
Scrubs
"Go back to sleep."
Scrubs
"What time is it?"
Scrubs
"All right, Jordan, you win."
Scrubs
"Jordan, would you like to say the same thing?"
Scrubs
"- I would not. - She would not."
Scrubs
"- No. - No."
Scrubs
"Yep. And you know what that means?"
Scrubs
"I can't believe we're doing this in a patient's room."
Scrubs
"It's about to get hotter."
Scrubs
"Yes."
Scrubs
"Isn't he, though?"
Scrubs
"What are you doing here?"
Scrubs
"And I can spend the rest of my life with Turk"
Scrubs
"touring the world's greatest water parks."
Scrubs
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