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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart Has Two Mommies (S17E17)

"(GROANING) A living duck?"
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"I wished too hard and he became real."
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"And the winner is Ned Flanders!"
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"The fact that you tried means everything."
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"Hey, that's the same thing you said to Bart"
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"after he choked in that soccer game."
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"And we both know he sucked."
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"And how. But this is different."
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"Say, Marge, I don't really want a computer."
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"makes my flesh crawl!"
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"Just put it in the trunk and leave."
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"Ned, that's so generous."
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"But there must be something I could do in return."
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"Well, sir, we could do a little quid pro for the Kaypro."
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"The left-handed convention is in town,"
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"and as the owner of Springfield's largest southpaw shop,"
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"I just gotta be there."
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"Could you, uh, nanny-goat my kid-diddily-ids?"
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"Uh, hmm..."
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"Let see. Just a second."
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"Oh, yeah, sure. I'd be happy to babysit for Rod and Todd."
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""Woo-hoo.""
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"I'm so glad you're watching the boys, Marge."
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"Our last babysitter let 'em watch Comedy Central!"
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"Now, Rod makes me check the closet every night for Rita Rudner."
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"(SHUDDERING) "No Rudner.""
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"Here are the numbers for the police, fire, ambulance,"
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"poison control, burn clinic,"
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"and people nearby with Rod and Todd's blood type."
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"Ooh, Carl!"
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"Do you want to play a game?"
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"How about a sitting still contest?"
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"Hands folded."
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"That means we both come in second."
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"BOTH: We're number two! We're number two!"
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"What do you think, Maggie?"
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"Oh, wow."
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"It's the Big Unit himself, Randy Johnson! (CHUCKLING)"
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"You've fanned more men than Salome!"
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"Yeah, I get that a lot."
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"Randy Johnson's Southpawz."
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"This one's a doctor. You can give it to your doctor."
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"Huh? Huh?"
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"You have one for a mailman?"
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"A bear can't be a mailman."
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"Now how many doctor bears do you want?"
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"They come in boxes of a thousand."
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"Um..."
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"(SIGHING) One box?"
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"You and me got a problem!"
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"Here's my mask. I'm a Star Wars."
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"Now let's see who you've drawn."
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"I'm my brother, Rod."
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"Ahh! This is too scary. Change back!"
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"(BOTH WHIMPERING)"
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"I'm a chipmunk. I eat nuts without saying grace."
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"I'm a permission slip."
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"And thank you, God, for letting Mrs. Simpson come over."
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"It was the most fun we've had since Mommy was here."
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"Aw..."
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"and tell him how to cut our sandwiches?"
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"Aw..."
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"And please tell Mrs. Simpson it's rude to eavesdrop on our prayers."
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"Oh... But we forgive her."
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"Aw..."
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"Mmm-hmm."
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"Hey, you're welcome to see the dynamic duo anytime!"
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"And Homer can spend more time with our kids."
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"He's watching them now."
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"Ready? Ready."
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"And joust!"
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"(GRUNTING AND YELLING)"
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"Ah! That was awesome!"
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"(MUMBLING) A canoe made of country ham?"
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"Hmm, what's wrong with your teeter-totter?"
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"Daddy says up-and-down seesaws are dangerous."
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"(BEETHOVEN'S SYMPHONY NO. 9 PLAYING)"
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"(SPEAKING SPANISH)"
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"(DOORBELL RINGING)"
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"I heard in study hall you were babysitting tonight."
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"So Marge, in tomorrow's game,"
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"I'm gonna recover a fumble just for you."
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"Oh, maybe you'll run it in for a touchdown."
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"Don't pressure me. I get enough of that from my dad."
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"Well, maybe we can take your mind off things"
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"by studying for the SATs."
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"Snuggles And Tickles. (GIGGLING)"
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"(TIRES SCREECHING) (DOOR OPENING)"
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"Hey, Homer. Sneakin' kisses from the missus?"
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"Springfield High football rules!"
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"Dad, Mom's over at the Flanders' babysitting Nimrod and Nimtodd."
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"We wanna do something."
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"Fine. As soon as I finish watching my show."
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"I want to go to the Showbiz Animal Retirement Home."
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"and TV that aren't cute anymore."
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"(BARKING NERVOUSLY)"
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"You think any of the gremlins from the Gremlins movie are there?"
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"Um, sure."
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"(LAUGHING) I'm gonna get them so wet."
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"Oh, this is much sadder than I expected."
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"I feel like I'm at the Oscars for the animals"
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"I forgot existed."
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"(OINKING)"
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"Aflac!"
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"(COUGHING)"
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"I'm not a real bear!"
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"That was just the name of my character."
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"Now let me out."
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"Hey, do you know where the bathroom is?"
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"Maybe I do and maybe I don't."
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"You didn't hear it from me,"
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"but it's next to the rhino cage."
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"Word on the street is cover the toilet seat with tissue."
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"(GULPING)"
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"She played Tum-Tum in Teen Tarzan's Eco-Adventures."
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"She looks like she's crying."
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"(SOBBING)"
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"Oh, she probably misses her children."
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"They're all in show business."
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"One of them played the out-of-control judiciary"
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