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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart Has Two Mommies (S17E17)

"in a Republican Party commercial."
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"Cheer up, Toot-Toot."
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"Have some of my ice cream."
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"(CHIRPING)"
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"My son's been ape-napped!"
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"No, no, it's still kidnapped!"
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"The prefix applies to the victim."
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"She's grooming me!"
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"Aren't you gonna do something?"
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"I'm afraid there's nothing we can do now."
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"A chimp that size could tear your son's head right off!"
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"But she'll leave the rest of him alone?"
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"Uh... Uh..."
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"Oh, may I remind you they're old when they come here."
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"Well, well, look at my dull-eyed angels."
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"What's this?"
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"It's the ripcord from a Band-Aid wrapper!"
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"Call me Ned Zeppelin but is one of my boys abrased and contused?"
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"I cut myself on the knife playing Christian Clue."
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"The secular humanist did it in the schoolhouse with misinformation!"
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"Well, I think it's about time you boys get to bed."
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"BOTH: Yes, Daddy."
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"And so we don't have another disaster,"
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"you crawl up those steps."
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"but these boys are never going to get self-confidence"
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"unless you let them try things for themselves."
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"I just can't."
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"They're all I've got since that sad day"
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"when Maude found eternal happiness."
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"I thought they might enjoy it if I took them here."
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"And it's owned by a corporation, so you know it's safe."
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"Their mascot is a knee-pad-wearing helmet."
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"Why not?"
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"Oh, you haven't seen Bart for a few hours,"
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"so you automatically assume I let something terrible happen."
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"I didn't say that."
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"I know what you think."
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""When stupid Homer wasn't looking,"
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""Bart got kidnapped by a monkey.""
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"I could never think something that horrible."
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"And now I'm using sarcasm to confess the whole thing,"
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"so later I can say that I already told you."
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"Sorry I asked."
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"Dad, you can't keep this up for long."
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"(SARCASTICALLY) Oh, you're so right."
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"I guess I should be more concerned with Bart's safety"
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"than covering my own butt."
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"And maybe I'm talking like this"
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"because I can't stop!"
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"Help me, Lisa. I have serious mental problems."
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"Look, it's been fun and all, but I miss indoor plumbing."
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"(GIBBERING)"
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"(GROANING)"
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"Sorry, lady."
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"I've never eaten fresh fruit, and I reckon I never will."
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"(EXASPERATED GIBBERING)"
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"(GIBBERING)"
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"This Oreo is rank!"
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"(WHISPERING) Bart! Bart!"
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"When the monkey falls asleep,"
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"I'll sneak you out in this trash bag."
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"Then I'll come back"
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"(WEAKLY) Wee..."
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"(MUTTERING)"
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"Oh, I fell asleep before the monkey!"
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"Uh-oh."
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"(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)"
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"Looking good, Rod!"
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"Ned! Are you checking up on me?"
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"I'm not Ned. I'm a friendly dog."
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"I did come here to check on the..."
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"Where's Rod?"
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"He's up there, Daddy."
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"(YELPING) What are you doing? You're gonna get hurt!"
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"l am? (WHIMPERING)"
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"(SCREAMING)"
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"He chipped a tooth."
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"I don't want you watching my boys ever again!"
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"(ALL MURMURING)"
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"MAN: She must be an unfit mother."
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"KENT: We interrupt this skateboarding footage for a breaking news story."
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"Local boy Bart Simpson is being held hostage"
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"by an angry chimpanzee,"
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"who has improved both his hygiene and posture."
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"His so-called real mother could not be found for comment."
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"Hey, monkey! Eat tranquilizer dart!"
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"(CHOKING)"
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"(SPUTTERING)"
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"KENT: Mr. Simpson was later revived by a police stun gun."
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"(SINGING) Welcome to the jungle gym"
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"I'll lay down some AstroTurf"
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"So they don't scrape their knees"
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"Well, we're gonna do what every kid your age likes to do."
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"Look at bread."
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"BOTH: No!"
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"We want Mrs. Simpson back!"
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"She let us run barefoot in the grass and play Uno!"
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"Uno? That's a gateway game to pinochle!"
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"All diddily aside, boys. What is it about her you miss so much?"
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"She made us feel happy."
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"And not church happy. For-real happy."
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"(GASPING)"
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"LISA: Maybe there's another way to solve this."
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"Bart is clearly fulfilling an emotional need for Toot-Tool."
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"If they did, then my experiments could be called cruel."
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"Toot-Toot, look. I'm using this rock as a tool."
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"(GRUNTING) Ow!"
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"That's it! I'm going in!"
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"Excuse me, Mrs. Toot."
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"While you were living the glamorous life of a TV chimp,"
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"I was raising my son."
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"You have no right to take him away from me now."
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"Please, please, give me back my boy."
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"(GIBBERING)"
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"(EXCITED GIBBERING)"
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"Marge, Toot-Toot and her son escaped!"
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"(SIGHING)"
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"The Hamburglar was survived by his longtime companion, Mayor McCheese."
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"Now our latest update on monkey boy Bart Simpson."
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"Toot-Toot has taken Bart to the highest spot in town."
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