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Clips from The Simpsons - Simpsons Christmas Stories (S17E17)

"Oh! Thank you, boys."
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"My sleigh! It's ruined!"
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"Well, we'll get you up and running"
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"or my name ain't Young Grampa Simpson!"
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"And now to bring joy to boys and girls around the world!"
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"I'll be back in a few days to take you ho-ho-home!"
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"If I hadn't invented a jet ski made of coconuts,"
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"(STAMMERING) You little..."
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"Doggone it! I missed him again!"
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"Cyrus, I miss you every day."
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"(STUTTERING)"
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"Your brother didn't die in the war, Abe."
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"He crashed into Tahiti. And he liked it so much, he never left."
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"Probably not."
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"Why didn't you ever come back to pick me up?"
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"Sorry I never called, Abe."
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"Fifteen! Whoo! That sounds like a lot of sex."
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"WIVES: No poko-miku for Cyrus!"
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"Oh, my God! It's over. We're free!"
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"Really?"
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"Last year's eggnog, a green hot dog"
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"Because Christmas Eve is here"
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"Fine! I'll spend Christmas Eve with the raccoons."
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"(CHITTERING)"
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"You got me a gift?"
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"(CHUCKLING) Oh, that's great."
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"Oh, it's just what I wanted!"
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"Christ is born. Who's on my horn?"
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"There's been a horrible train wreck."
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"Oh, I feel like I'm born-again again!"
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"(GROANS)"
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"Paper cut!"
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"(HUMMING)"
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"was about to get some frankly preposterous news."
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"(SCOFFS) Tell me about it."
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"Frankincense."
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"Uh, the King of the Jews we seek is a newborn child."
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"all with brand new carpeting."
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"(MARGE BREATHING HEAVILY)"
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"Caesar just invented the caesarian!"
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"I've got the Messiah's nose! I've got the Messiah's nose!"
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"Hmm? Maybe a little toot off the old wineskin will cheer me up."
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"Hmm, you like physical comedy, eh?"
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"(GROANING)"
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"Why I ought to..."
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"Gnah, gnah, gnah."
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"(YAWNS)"
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"I think this non-traditional household just might make it."
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"Ah, don't worry, boys."
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"What the hell are you doing?"
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"That ought to spruce things up."
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"(ALL GASP)"
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"(GASPS) Cold! So cold!"
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"Kamikazes at two o'clock!"
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"Good thing I stole two of these off dead soldiers."
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"Lieutenant, radio my brother and tell him to watch his tail."
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"You hang up first. No, you hang up first."
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"(GROANS)"
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"You'll pay for that, you haiku-spouting savages!"
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"(GRUNTS)"
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"ABE: Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months."
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"Even Burns was starting to look good to me."
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"Thanks, Lieutenant. Merry Christmas."
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"What in the name of the Tennessee Valley Authority?"
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"You useless waste of socks! That ain't no Kraut!"
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"Damn it!"
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"Let's go, you flying hat rack! (GRUNTS)"
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"Thanks for everything, Abe."
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"And now I'm off."
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"And then when I did, the war was over"
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"and the nurses were all kissed out."
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"(THUD) It's Santa!"
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"My brother's lucky watch!"
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"Will we be back for the Tournament of Roses Parade?"
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"(WIVES GIGGLING)"
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"I said we're free!"
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"I've still gotta bake my Christmas pie"
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"So move your ass And let me pass"
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"Because Christmas Eve is here! Oye!"
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"(WHISPERING) Because Christmas Eve is here"
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"(GRUNTING)"
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"(SINGING) It's the most wonderful time of the year"
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"“Give the audience snowballs,“ they said."
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"But I already got you a wool hat!"
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"Uh!"
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"(MOANING)"
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"Bad news, Ned."
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"Don't be nervous, Ned."
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"A pregnant virgin?"
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"King Herod, we three wise men come"
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"And myrrh, which I am re-gifting, 'cause who needs myrrh?"
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"Thank you."
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"Who could've performed such a cruel miracle?"
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"Me? But I'm watching the orange bowl."
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"(CHUCKLES)"
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"Mmm..."
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"Gee, Chief, l feel pretty bad trying to take out a baby."
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"What a boffo beginning for my book!"
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"The oldest trick in the book."
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"I was a Navy pilot in the Pacific."
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"(SIREN BLARING)"
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"Incoming! Is it one of ours?"
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"(EXPLOSION)"
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"And I'm keeping all the toys for myself,"
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"Hmm?"
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"(GRUNTS)"
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"Gah! Except for that!"
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"That's quite a tale, Grampa."
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"It's true, I tells ya! (BELLS JINGLING)"
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"Good. I hate that crap."
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"I was too busy with my 15 native wives."
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"We gotta get Dad a lousy tie"
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"Grr. Why should I care? it's all humbug"
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"These holiday cookies swell my fat"
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"(GROANING)"
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"(CHUCKLES)"
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"Now, I'll just get my present for you."
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"Oh, my God! I forgot to get Marge a present!"
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"The Christmas rush has cleaned me out"
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"I knew you'd forget."
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