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Clips from The Simpsons - Simpsons Christmas Stories (S17E17)

"(SINGING) The Simpsons"
The Simpsons
"Where's Reverend Lovejoy?"
The Simpsons
"Look at 'em with their bright, airy narthex and light, flaky Eucharist."
The Simpsons
"(SWOONING)"
The Simpsons
"Did anyone order a hero?"
The Simpsons
"(INDISTINCT CHATTER)"
The Simpsons
"I for one am dying to hear it!"
The Simpsons
"That's not all she's full of."
The Simpsons
"So, not a doctor."
The Simpsons
"But nothing to hang on the wall?"
The Simpsons
"(GROANS)"
The Simpsons
"Which one should I open first?"
The Simpsons
"Find this pretender to my throne"
The Simpsons
"and bring him to me!"
The Simpsons
"except you don't really have the "good,""
The Simpsons
"so what do you have really then?"
The Simpsons
"there won't be any."
The Simpsons
"Just keep pushing, sweetie."
The Simpsons
"This is the worst Christmas ever!"
The Simpsons
"Joseph, no!"
The Simpsons
"(SIGHS) Anytime anyone suffers in the world, he starts crying again."
The Simpsons
"Can you do something?"
The Simpsons
"Mmm, mmm, mmm..."
The Simpsons
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, we got a great family."
The Simpsons
"Now let's get some sleep."
The Simpsons
"Herod is coming for the child!"
The Simpsons
"The kid you're looking for is in there!"
The Simpsons
"They put his halo on a duck."
The Simpsons
"(QUACKING)"
The Simpsons
"What a beautiful Hanukkah bush!"
The Simpsons
"A Christmas tree, what a great name."
The Simpsons
"grew up to be Jesus?"
The Simpsons
"I know! It's weird, isn't it?"
The Simpsons
"It's because you're using regular batteries."
The Simpsons
"(GASPS) It's Santa!"
The Simpsons
"Oh, Bart, Why'd you ask him a follow-up question?"
The Simpsons
"(WHISPERS) lt just slipped out!"
The Simpsons
"Yup. I was a Navy pilot in the Pacific"
The Simpsons
"along with my big brother, Cyrus."
The Simpsons
"Cyrus? You never mentioned him before."
The Simpsons
"Oh, my God!"
The Simpsons
"The sky is full of that kind of plane that crashes into the boat!"
The Simpsons
"Cyrus, you be careful up there."
The Simpsons
"(LAUGHING) No. You hang up first."
The Simpsons
"Cyrus!"
The Simpsons
"(ABE GRUNTING)"
The Simpsons
"We're in a state of nature where the strong of will control the weak."
The Simpsons
"(GURGLING)"
The Simpsons
"Months turned back to days."
The Simpsons
"So I've made you a little peace offering."
The Simpsons
"ABE: A shaving kit?"
The Simpsons
"Is this pomade?"
The Simpsons
"Oh, it's nothing really. Just seagull brains and snail goo."
The Simpsons
"He's German! That's good eatin'!"
The Simpsons
"I guess I must've run into a sudden storm."
The Simpsons
"Yes, yes. Everything happens to you."
The Simpsons
"Boys, I'm almost ready."
The Simpsons
"I'm just missing Prancer. And Rudolph."
The Simpsons
"Sorry, Chuckles. Change of plan."
The Simpsons
"This sleigh is my ticket off this hellhole."
The Simpsons
"because at heart, I'm just a very wicked child. (BELLS JINGLING)"
The Simpsons
"You backstabber! And I let you spoon me!"
The Simpsons
"Come on, baby."
The Simpsons
"(STRAINED GRUNTING)"
The Simpsons
"(GROANING) (SQUEAKING)"
The Simpsons
"I waited and waited. But Santa never came back."
The Simpsons
"I'd have never gotten home."
The Simpsons
"SANTA CLAUS: He misses you, too."
The Simpsons
"He... What... Who?"
The Simpsons
"SANTA CLAUS: Yeah. Me, too."
The Simpsons
"Santa, one thing's still buggin' me."
The Simpsons
"I said wives, not girlfriends."
The Simpsons
"Boo! This is terrible!"
The Simpsons
"Ugh, I hope I never hear that God-awful Nutcracker music again."
The Simpsons
"We'll get together for a while"
The Simpsons
"I told Grampa we'd be away"
The Simpsons
"He's at the door Let's hit the floor"
The Simpsons
"Rancid lard? Aw, you shouldn't have."
The Simpsons
"Diamond ring, a vase by Ming some kind of useful kitchen thing"
The Simpsons
"I just have jerky made of trout"
The Simpsons
"So, my gift to you is a gift for you to give me."
The Simpsons
"Here, Marge. This is for you."
The Simpsons
"Maybe he's cheating on us with the Episcopalians."
The Simpsons
"I wouldn't mind dipping my hand in their font."
The Simpsons
"(CELL PHONE RINGING)"
The Simpsons
"So many little plastic Christmases ruined."
The Simpsons
"with his home address on it?"
The Simpsons
"Anyhoo, I'd like to tell you all a little story"
The Simpsons
"who will grow up to become King of the Jews!"
The Simpsons
"We bring gold."
The Simpsons
"Of course not."
The Simpsons
"I think my water just broke!"
The Simpsons
"You can have the barn."
The Simpsons
"Shalom, everybody!"
The Simpsons
"Get him outta here!"
The Simpsons
"Oh, I'm not the father. I'm not a wise man. I'm nothing!"
The Simpsons
"He has to stay alive till he's 33,"
The Simpsons
"Now!"
The Simpsons
"(BLEATING) D'oh!"
The Simpsons
"(LAUGHING)"
The Simpsons
"Ah, wise man. eh? Pick two."
The Simpsons
"There they go! I see his head-dealie!"
The Simpsons
"Well, he does have a halo."
The Simpsons
"Hail, Quackie!"
The Simpsons
"(BOTH GASP)"
The Simpsons
"ALL: Aww!"
The Simpsons
"And did you know that little baby Jesus"
The Simpsons
"(CAROL PLAYING ON TV)"
The Simpsons
"Oh, I don't know why I'm so run down."
The Simpsons
"I must be low on Christmas spirit."
The Simpsons
"Grampa?"
The Simpsons
"He screwed me over back in WWII."
The Simpsons
"But I loved him all the same."
The Simpsons
"Well, I don't usually drink after lunch but..."
The Simpsons
"No, I'm not worried. Not as long as I have my good luck charm."
The Simpsons
"(AMERICAN PATROL PLAYING)"
The Simpsons
"(WHIRRING)"
The Simpsons
"Mmm."
The Simpsons
"I give up. I give up."
The Simpsons
"ABE: By Christmas Eve, our hopes of rescue were fading."
The Simpsons
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