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Clips from The Simpsons - Bart Gets a 'Z' (S21E21)

"(laughing): ...he's got a wild sense of humor."
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"(laughs)"
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"It will be his last birthday"
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"if he keeps drawing pictures like this."
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"What? I said, are there any areas"
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"that we, his parents, can improve upon?"
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"Yes. Just one: relax."
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"You're clearly a caring father."
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"(crying)"
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"(crying)"
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"Let it out. Let it out."
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"(sobbing)"
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"(loud sobbing)"
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"(very loud sobbing)"
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"Keep it in. Keep it in."
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"(very loud sobbing)"
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"Two hot chocolates with hot fudge boost."
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"Milhouse... (sighs)"
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"...we ruined Edna's life."
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"Check out the multiples of seven, y'all."
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"* *"
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"There's got to be some other way to help Mrs. K."
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"Bookstores don't have answers."
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"They just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs"
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"at the end of aisle ways."
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"I ain't paid for Doris Kearns Goodwin in my life,"
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"and I ain't gonna start now."
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"Oh, that's some good Doris there."
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"You're right."
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"I guess no one's ever written a book"
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"to help a middle-aged woman turn her life around."
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"What's The Answer?"
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"Only the best-selling book, slash, DVD since the bible."
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"WOMAN (with Australian accent): My life was over."
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"And then I found... The Answer."
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"("O Fortuna" from Carmina Burana plays)"
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"The Answer was discovered"
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"by the philosophers of ancient Greece, who hid it"
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"under a rock where it was discovered by the knights"
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"and set it in the ocean,"
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"Learn The Answer, and change your life."
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"ANNOUNCER: Available wherever dubious,"
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"quasi-scientific self-help books are sold."
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"So, um, you're wearing the same bathrobe"
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"Bart, you're a good kid."
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"You're the only one who came to see me."
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"Well, Mrs. K,"
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"I have just the book, slash, DVD for you-- The Answer."
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""This book uses the ancient power of wanting.""
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"That makes absolutely no sense."
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"Hey. "Just because we don't understand electricity,"
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"doesn't mean we can't enjoy its benefits.""
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"But we do understand electricity."
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"Every positively charged nucleus is..."
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"Cut it out. You're not a teacher anymore."
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"Way to cheer me up, kid."
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"(coughing)"
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"Look, Mrs. K, I'm a Simpson,"
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"and a Simpson never gives up"
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"Aw."
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"So, did you write your dream on the..."
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""index card of fate"?"
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"Yes, but it still seems..."
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"stupid."
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"reading:"
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"Great idea!"
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""Break your dream down into smaller wishes,"
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"then break those down into wish-able actions.""
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"Bart, this is starting to sound"
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"like one of those loony self-help books."
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"question mark inside?"
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"Huh? Huh? Huh?"
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"All thanks to The Answer!"
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"but your faith in me got me through it."
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"And it looks like"
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"you got your own index card of fate."
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"What's your dream? Nothing, nothing."
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"Well, I'm sure it'll come true."
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"(humming)"
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"My pleasure."
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"What did he want?"
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"Beats me."
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"I just gave him a banana."
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"This store has definitely turned my life around."
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"Yup. I'm off the hook now."
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"What do you mean by that?"
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"Well, I guess I can tell you,"
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"'cause everything worked out for the best."
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"(laughs)"
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"I'm the one who put booze in your coffee"
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"and got you fired."
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"(laughs)"
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"You did what?!"
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"Please don't kill me."
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"You ruined my life!"
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"It's your fault I have to work at this stupid muffin store."
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"But this place was your dream!"
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"My real dream was to be a teacher,"
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"and you got me fired!"
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"Now I'm up to my eyeballs in debt with this stupid store,"
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"and four more muffin stores just opened on this block!"
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"No!"
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"But-But-But you found The Answer!"
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"No! I wrote a phone number in there!"
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"I never thought I'd say this to a child,"
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"but you are bad on the inside."
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"(gasps)"
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"(humming)"
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"Dad, am I bad on the inside?"
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"No... but the layers of bad on your surface"
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"But you think there's, like, a kernel of good inside me, right?"
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"Hmm. I don't know."
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"Kernels are kind of big."
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"Oh! Listen, I was thinking."
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"If someone did a really bad thing to one teacher,"
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"and then did the same bad thing to another teacher"
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"to get the first teacher her job back, would it be okay?"
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"Great. Go nuts."
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"But remember, we never had this discussion."
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"What discussion?"
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