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Clips from Community (2009) - Contemporary Impressionists (S03E03)

Shirley, Hawthorne wipes fired me.

"Shirley, Hawthorne wipes fired me."

Community (2009)

They were just waiting for my dad to be out of the picture.

"They were just waiting for my dad to be out of the picture."

Community (2009)

I'm not an entrepreneur.

"I'm not an entrepreneur."

Community (2009)

I'm just a kid with a bunch of money, I...

"I'm just a kid with a bunch of money, I..."

Community (2009)

Please, please, help me be somebody.

"Please, please, help me be somebody."

Community (2009)

First thing we need to figure out is our overhead.

"First thing we need to figure out is our overhead."

Community (2009)

Do you have a pen?

"Do you have a pen?"

Community (2009)

Yeah.

"Yeah."

Community (2009)

Oops.

"Oops."

Community (2009)

Do you know someone that can buy a pen?

"Do you know someone that can buy a pen?"

Community (2009)

Yes!

"Yes!"

Community (2009)

Well, have you thought about the color story

"Well, have you thought about the color story"

Community (2009)

for your wedding?

"for your wedding?"

Community (2009)

He means the theme of the wedding.

"He means the theme of the wedding."

Community (2009)

- Right, Dale? - Mm-hmm.

"- Right, Dale? - Mm-hmm."

Community (2009)

Same theme as every wedding...

"Same theme as every wedding..."

Community (2009)

Conformity, blind participation, and patriarchal...

"Conformity, blind participation, and patriarchal..."

Community (2009)

- What about pink? - We don't call it pink.

"- What about pink? - We don't call it pink."

Community (2009)

We don't call anything by its name.

"We don't call anything by its name."

Community (2009)

That's, like, day-one floral school stuff.

"That's, like, day-one floral school stuff."

Community (2009)

This is citrine. This is opalescent.

"This is citrine. This is opalescent."

Community (2009)

This is sea glass, cameo, and cerulean.

"This is sea glass, cameo, and cerulean."

Community (2009)

Come on, how difficult is this?

"Come on, how difficult is this?"

Community (2009)

You do one of these, one of these,

"You do one of these, one of these,"

Community (2009)

this one and, like, stick a ribbon on it. Happy?

"this one and, like, stick a ribbon on it. Happy?"

Community (2009)

Britta, that's a really beautiful arrangement.

"Britta, that's a really beautiful arrangement."

Community (2009)

Color me lavender.

"Color me lavender."

Community (2009)

Yeah, well, great... Flowers look good in a pot.

"Yeah, well, great... Flowers look good in a pot."

Community (2009)

There are people dying in Uganda.

"There are people dying in Uganda."

Community (2009)

Got it.

"Got it."

Community (2009)

- Ahh, ahh, ahh. - Don't eat my skin!

"- Ahh, ahh, ahh. - Don't eat my skin!"

Community (2009)

- Well, that should do it. - Yeah.

"- Well, that should do it. - Yeah."

Community (2009)

My God, isn't tonight Shirley's wedding rehearsal?

"My God, isn't tonight Shirley's wedding rehearsal?"

Community (2009)

Look at how we're dressed.

"Look at how we're dressed."

Community (2009)

Yes, this simply won't do.

"Yes, this simply won't do."

Community (2009)

Let's change into something appropriate

"Let's change into something appropriate"

Community (2009)

for the occasion and be on our way.

"for the occasion and be on our way."

Community (2009)

I agree.

"I agree."

Community (2009)

Annie!

"Annie!"

Community (2009)

I need your help.

"I need your help."

Community (2009)

Um, you're, like, sentimental and stuff.

"Um, you're, like, sentimental and stuff."

Community (2009)

I'm really having trouble coming up with a toast.

"I'm really having trouble coming up with a toast."

Community (2009)

You once convinced Troy

"You once convinced Troy"

Community (2009)

that turtlenecks were made of turtles' necks.

"that turtlenecks were made of turtles' necks."

Community (2009)

It's true, my superpower is that I can assume any position

"It's true, my superpower is that I can assume any position"

Community (2009)

that suits my purpose. In that example...

"that suits my purpose. In that example..."

Community (2009)

Keeping turtlenecks as an option for myself, down the road.

"Keeping turtlenecks as an option for myself, down the road."

Community (2009)

But I do have a kryptonite.

"But I do have a kryptonite."

Community (2009)

It's so obvious to me that marriage is dumb,

"It's so obvious to me that marriage is dumb,"

Community (2009)

You, as Shirley's friend and a good guy,

"You, as Shirley's friend and a good guy,"

Community (2009)

just saying what's really in your heart.

"just saying what's really in your heart."

Community (2009)

There's something real in there.

"There's something real in there."

Community (2009)

Maybe that's what scares you.

"Maybe that's what scares you."

Community (2009)

I could use a drink.

"I could use a drink."

Community (2009)

Shirley's sandwiches can offer students

"Shirley's sandwiches can offer students"

Community (2009)

more food for less money, and provide the campus

"more food for less money, and provide the campus"

Community (2009)

with a higher percentage of the profits.

"with a higher percentage of the profits."

Community (2009)

Pierce, put up the next slide.

"Pierce, put up the next slide."

Community (2009)

That's me!

"That's me!"

Community (2009)

Where'd I get all that money I'm holding?

"Where'd I get all that money I'm holding?"

Community (2009)

that Shirley's sandwiches and your cafeteria are going

"that Shirley's sandwiches and your cafeteria are going"

Community (2009)

to be successful.

"to be successful."

Community (2009)

Wait.

"Wait."

Community (2009)

Here's a pen.

"Here's a pen."

Community (2009)

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Community (2009)

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh

"♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh"

Community (2009)

- ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh... - Holy crap!

"- ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh... - Holy crap!"

Community (2009)

- I know. - What's wrong with you?

"- I know. - What's wrong with you?"

Community (2009)

This may shock you, Annie, but I come from a long line

"This may shock you, Annie, but I come from a long line"

Community (2009)

- of wives and mothers. - Many do.

"- of wives and mothers. - Many do."

Community (2009)

But I ran away from it my whole life.

"But I ran away from it my whole life."

Community (2009)

I refused to give Santa a Christmas list,

"I refused to give Santa a Christmas list,"

Community (2009)

because I didn't want to depend on any man for anything.

"because I didn't want to depend on any man for anything."

Community (2009)

I'm Betty Crocker. I'm Martha Stewart.

"I'm Betty Crocker. I'm Martha Stewart."

Community (2009)

I'm one of the Steppenwolf wives.

"I'm one of the Steppenwolf wives."

Community (2009)

Ohh, God.

"Ohh, God."

Community (2009)

I'm gonna make some man very happy someday.

"I'm gonna make some man very happy someday."

Community (2009)

Ooh. Easy. Slow down.

"Ooh. Easy. Slow down."

Community (2009)

What's with you guys?

"What's with you guys?"

Community (2009)

We de-whimsified ourselves.

"We de-whimsified ourselves."

Community (2009)

Yep. We're normal now.

"Yep. We're normal now."

Community (2009)

Oh. Good?

"Oh. Good?"

Community (2009)

Hey, anybody seen Shirley?

"Hey, anybody seen Shirley?"

Community (2009)

What? Shirley's late to the rehearsal for her wedding?

"What? Shirley's late to the rehearsal for her wedding?"

Community (2009)

Oh, my.

"Oh, my."

Community (2009)

I'm not being sarcastic.

"I'm not being sarcastic."

Community (2009)

We're heavily invested in your situation.

"We're heavily invested in your situation."

Community (2009)

Nothing's more important to us

"Nothing's more important to us"

Community (2009)

Walk away, man.

"Walk away, man."

Community (2009)

Hey! Did you think of a toast?

"Hey! Did you think of a toast?"

Community (2009)

Well, yeah.

"Well, yeah."

Community (2009)

Uh, I had a drink,

"Uh, I had a drink,"

Community (2009)

and I looked in my heart,

"and I looked in my heart,"

Community (2009)

and here's what I got so far...

"and here's what I got so far..."

Community (2009)

"Webster's dictionary defines..."

""Webster's dictionary defines...""

Community (2009)

Gah! Stop!

"Gah! Stop!"

Community (2009)

"Webster's dictionary defines"?

""Webster's dictionary defines"?"

Community (2009)

That's the Jim Belushi of speech openings...

"That's the Jim Belushi of speech openings..."

Community (2009)

It accomplishes nothing, but everyone keeps using it

"It accomplishes nothing, but everyone keeps using it"

Community (2009)

That took me eight hours and six macallan neatses.

"That took me eight hours and six macallan neatses."

Community (2009)

Look, I'm sorry, I just don't believe in marriage.

"Look, I'm sorry, I just don't believe in marriage."

Community (2009)

I do. It's inevitable.

"I do. It's inevitable."

Community (2009)

And then I'd put a counter across here and the ovens there.

"And then I'd put a counter across here and the ovens there."

Community (2009)

Okay, okay.

"Okay, okay."

Community (2009)

And how fiscal will the quarterly earnings be?

"And how fiscal will the quarterly earnings be?"

Community (2009)

Well, initially, the fiscal...

"Well, initially, the fiscal..."

Community (2009)

Wait, that question makes no sense.

"Wait, that question makes no sense."

Community (2009)

I just want to sound as good at business as you are.

"I just want to sound as good at business as you are."

Community (2009)

but I cannot believe you learned all this at Greendale.

"but I cannot believe you learned all this at Greendale."

Community (2009)

- You're very professional. - I am, aren't I?

"- You're very professional. - I am, aren't I?"

Community (2009)

I brought sodas, so we can toast to our futures.

"I brought sodas, so we can toast to our futures."

Community (2009)

Look at me now, dad.

"Look at me now, dad."

Community (2009)

Dad? Oh, my God,

"Dad? Oh, my God,"

Community (2009)

for my wedding rehearsal to the dad of my children.

"for my wedding rehearsal to the dad of my children."

Community (2009)

That was...

"That was..."

Community (2009)

And odd dot to connect.

"And odd dot to connect."

Community (2009)

Mmm.

"Mmm."

Community (2009)

This is who I am.

"This is who I am."

Community (2009)

Andre, sorry I'm late.

"Andre, sorry I'm late."

Community (2009)

I have wonderful news.

"I have wonderful news."

Community (2009)

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