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Clips from The Simpsons - The Cartridge Family (S09E09)

"Hey, Dad, how come you've never taken us to see a soccer game?"
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"like Ariaga, Ariaga II..."
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"which nation is the greatest on Earth- Mexico or Portugal!"
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"[Cheering]"
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"Holds it. [Sighs]"
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"[Yelling]"
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"[Gasping]"
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"[Groans]"
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"and peace of mind is what you shall have."
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"Aisle 6, next to the sympathy cards."
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"- Bandolier. - Baby."
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"- Loudener. - Oh!"
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"Oh, I don't need anything like that... yet."
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"[Quacking]"
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"##[Ends]"
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"Open up! [Panting]"
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"- [Chuckling] Yeah. - You beat up President Bush."
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"Former president."
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"- Do you? - No."
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"and if you still don't think guns are great, we'll argue some more."
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"[Beeps]"
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"[Laughter]"
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"it's good enough to protect my family."
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"[Cheering, Shouting]"
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"Can you help me get my ball down from the roof, Dad?"
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"Missed one, Dad."
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"But this is the first time since we've been married..."
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"[Moaning]"
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"Jinx!"
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"[Gasps] Bart!"
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"Until you decide what's more important..."
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"Come on, kids."
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"- I've left Homer. - Thank God."
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"Try the Sleep-Eazy Motel. I woke up there once. Seemed nice."
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"Hiya, Homer. I brung ya a big bag of irregular Oreos."
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"- [Gunfire] - [Grunting]"
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"- You might've hurt someone! - Are you some kind of moron?"
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"[Gunfire]"
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"- Yes! - All right."
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"Come down here!"
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"Mmm!"
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"All right, everybody, hands up!"
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"[Sinister Laughter]"
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"Listen, if it'll make you feel any better, I'll put the safety on."
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"Whoops! Guess it was already on."
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"Uh, I'd better just put it down."
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"No offense, Mom, but that was pretty cool."
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"Homer, I think you'd agree that I've put up with a lot in this marriage."
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"that I've actually feared for our lives."
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"So I'm asking you, if you really care about me and the children..."
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"All right, Marge. I'll do it for you."
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"I'm a lucky woman."
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"And I'm a wonderful man."
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"[Straining] Aw! I don't feel them."
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"You said there'd be "Fudgeicles," Bart. Where's the "Fudgeicles"?"
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"First, it's Fudgsicle."
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"And I know they're up here. I just need a better foothold."
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"Hello!"
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"And the next marksman is William Tell, Jr.!"
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"Oh, I see Bart gets to have a gun."
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"You promised to get rid of this gun."
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"I put it in a safe place, Marge."
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"I mean, what are the odds the boy would look in the vegetable crisper?"
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"How could you?"
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"Of all the terrible things you've ever done in your life, this is the worst..."
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"the most despicable!"
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"- But, Marge, I swear to you, I never thought you'd find out! - [Groans]"
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"we can't live in the same house."
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"So this is the thanks I get for protecting my family?"
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"Then go! I'll be just fine!"
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"- Do you know how to cook dinner? - Do I?"
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"So we need a place to spend the night."
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"- Why can't we stay here? - Uh, we have a gentleman caller."
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"Hey, this TV's not broken. It's just unplugged. What the-"
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"- Ooh, the gun club's gonna be here any minute. - [Doorbell Rings]"
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"[Gasps] They're here! They're here!"
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"I don't see what's wrong with this one. Oh."
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"Lookir for a good time, sailor?"
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"- I certainly am. - No, you're not!"
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"He's really not."
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"And that's how, with a few minor adjustments..."
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"you can turn a regular gun into five guns."
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"[Light Applause]"
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"Here's some more chocolate curls, gun buddies."
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"Anyone else want a beer?"
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"Homer, you use your gun as a can opener?"
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"I use it for everything."
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"I've never seen such recklessness!"
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"They're for family protection, hunting dangerous or delicious animals..."
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"and keeping the king of England out of your face."
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"I'll also need to remove your tattoo."
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"- I didn't get one yet. - Rats."
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"Now, since you're no longer a member..."
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"please go outside until the meeting is over."
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"[Chuckling]"
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"- ##[Disco] - [Laughing, Chattering]"
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"- Hey, we got a pool! - Can we go swimming, Mom?"
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"Wow! The TV's coin-operated."
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"And so is the Bible!"
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"3:00 a.m. Uh, for every room except this one."
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"That's right. Good night."
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"[Chuckling] Always love trying out new material on the road."
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"[Bart] No way are you gonna beat me this time, Lise."
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"- [Coins Clinking] - [Voice Wavering] Yes, I am!"
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"- Come on, Spotty! - Come on, Smelly!"
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"Oh! This gun cost me everything-"
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"my wife, my kids."
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"Everything but my precious, precious gun."
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"[Gunshot]"
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"This stinks. I want my family back."
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"Hey, is that a camera in the ceiling?"
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"[Male Voice] No. Go back to sleep."
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"This bed is making me nauseous!"
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"Why won't it stop?"
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"Honey, it'll be morning soon. Try to get some sleep."
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"- [Door Opens] - [Gasps]"
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"Oh, uh, I'm sorry. Are you planning to stay the whole night?"
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"Vote Quimby."
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"- Marge? - [Man Groans]"
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"- Sorry. Marge? - [Woman Gasps]"
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