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Clips from Seinfeld - The Opera (S04E04)

"- No, I don't have them on me. - What? That's why I came over here."
Seinfeld
"My friend's got them. I'll pick them up tomorrow."
Seinfeld
"I was gonna surprise Joey with them. You got an extra one, right?"
Seinfeld
"So I finally get to meet your pal Joey."
Seinfeld
"So Joey's a great lover of the opera."
Seinfeld
"Listen..."
Seinfeld
"...who's interested in something other than Nick at Nite."
Seinfeld
"He's- He's happy. He's well-adjusted."
Seinfeld
"Looking forward to meeting him."
Seinfeld
"I gotta go."
Seinfeld
"Where? What's the rush?"
Seinfeld
"To surprise Joey. I've never been to his place."
Seinfeld
"Hey."
Seinfeld
"I have a hair on my tongue."
Seinfeld
"He's supposed to be on medication. He told me he was on medication."
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna call the cops. That's what I'm doing. The cops."
Seinfeld
"He'll put the kibosh on me. Do you know what it is to be kiboshed?"
Seinfeld
"- Kibosh. - It's a terrible mistake."
Seinfeld
"He thinks I ruined some deal at NBC. I don't know anything about it."
Seinfeld
"- Call and tell him that. - That- That's what I'll do."
Seinfeld
"He's a human being. I'll talk to him. He'll understand, right?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Don't mention my name."
Seinfeld
"- What's his message like? - Nice."
Seinfeld
"I think there's been a huge, colossal misunderstanding."
Seinfeld
"If we could just talk, we could straighten this out..."
Seinfeld
"...so cal me back. Bye."
Seinfeld
"Joey?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, God. It's you. You scared me."
Seinfeld
"What is all this?"
Seinfeld
"Do you like it?"
Seinfeld
"My home is a shrine to you."
Seinfeld
"Where did you get all these pictures?"
Seinfeld
"I took them myself with a telephoto lens."
Seinfeld
"Coming out of your office, your apartment."
Seinfeld
"Showering."
Seinfeld
"Showering?"
Seinfeld
"I develop them myself in my darkroom."
Seinfeld
"Would you-? Would you like to see?"
Seinfeld
"In the darkroom? Oh, no, thank you."
Seinfeld
"Are-? Are you all right?"
Seinfeld
"Why?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I don't know. You just don't..."
Seinfeld
"- ... seem yourself. - Who am I?"
Seinfeld
"- Who am I supposed to be? - That's a good question."
Seinfeld
"Good question. It's very existential."
Seinfeld
"Oh, nothing. I just stopped by to chat."
Seinfeld
"I'm really looking forward to it."
Seinfeld
"No, he couldn't get them. We're not going."
Seinfeld
"I left something on. The gas, the lights, the water in the tub."
Seinfeld
"Something is on somewhere, so I'm just gonna get the-"
Seinfeld
"Do you know the story of Pagliacci, Nedda?"
Seinfeld
"I'm Elaine."
Seinfeld
"He's a clown whose wife is unfaithful to him."
Seinfeld
"Do you think I'm a clown, Nedda?"
Seinfeld
"Do I think you're a clown? No. Not if it's bad to be a clown."
Seinfeld
"If it's bad to be a clown, then you are definitely not a clown."
Seinfeld
"You've betrayed me with another, haven't you, Nedda?"
Seinfeld
"I want his name. Tell me his name."
Seinfeld
"Oh, like any man would ever look at me. Come on."
Seinfeld
"Pagliacci kills his wife."
Seinfeld
"But I would assume that there was big, big trouble for that clown."
Seinfeld
"But, officer, he threatened me."
Seinfeld
"What if it was the president of the U.S.? I bet you'd investigate."
Seinfeld
"So, what's the difference? I'm a comedian of the United States."
Seinfeld
"And I'll tell you, I'm under just as much pressure."
Seinfeld
"- Who is it? - It's George."
Seinfeld
"Well, well. Look at you."
Seinfeld
"It's a little skimpy there, isn't it?"
Seinfeld
"Six years ago."
Seinfeld
"It wasn't that bad."
Seinfeld
"I never heard anybody curse in a toast."
Seinfeld
"There were old people there."
Seinfeld
"At the end of the toast, nobody even drank."
Seinfeld
"They were just standing. They were just frozen. People-"
Seinfeld
"That might have been one of the worst all-time toasts."
Seinfeld
"Still, her father didn't have to throw me out like that."
Seinfeld
"Susan's not going tonight."
Seinfeld
"What do you mean, not going? Why not?"
Seinfeld
"She had to pick up a friend at the airport."
Seinfeld
"It cost me $100, this ticket."
Seinfeld
"- Why didn't she pay for hers? - That's a very good question."
Seinfeld
"She and I go to dinner, she doesn't even reach for the check."
Seinfeld
"All I'm asking for is a reach. Is that so much to ask for?"
Seinfeld
"- Who is it? - It's me!"
Seinfeld
"Because of Davola. Get in here."
Seinfeld
"- How come you're not dressed? - I am dressed."
Seinfeld
"- You're going like this? - Yeah. I want you to hear something."
Seinfeld
"- You said people dress up for opera. - Well, people do. I don't."
Seinfeld
"If you're going like that, I'm not going like this."
Seinfeld
"Wait a minute! Do you think I'm comfortable here?"
Seinfeld
"You gotta go like that. I can't go like this alone."
Seinfeld
"Why should I be uncomfortable because my apartment is closer?"
Seinfeld
"If I gotta be uncomfortable, you gotta too."
Seinfeld
"Would you turn that down? What is that crap?"
Seinfeld
"It's Pagliacci."
Seinfeld
"Oh, beautiful."
Seinfeld
"We got a little problem here. We got two extra tickets."
Seinfeld
"- Why, what happened? - Susan isn't going..."
Seinfeld
"We can make maybe 500 a ticket."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"People are looking for tickets here?"
Seinfeld
"- We're gonna clean up. - Oh, man, I knew I'd love the opera."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, right. - Come on, let's go get the tickets."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - All right. Isn't scalping illegal?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"You sprayed him in the eyes with Binaca?"
Seinfeld
"See, I don't get that. First they come out with regular."
Seinfeld
"A year later, they have cherry."
Seinfeld
"They know we like cherry. Start with cherry. Then come out with regular."
Seinfeld
"It was like I didn't know him. He was a different person."
Seinfeld
"Where's George and Kramer? I wanna get inside already."
Seinfeld
"I feel very vulnerable."
Seinfeld
"What you doing? That's my quarter."
Seinfeld
"No, I dropped it. It's mine."
Seinfeld
"All right, you want it, take it, but don't try and tell me it's yours."
Seinfeld
"What, you think I care about the money?"
Seinfeld
"Is that what you think? I'll show you."
Seinfeld
"Look at this. Here's a dollar. Look."
Seinfeld
"That's how much I care about money."
Seinfeld
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