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Clips from Scrubs - My Old Lady (S01E01)

"- Classical music isn't for everyone. - So, I didn't have a nanny..."
Scrubs
"Dammit!"
Scrubs
"Here's something surprising."
Scrubs
"On my first day, my resident told me,"
Scrubs
"or the emergency room,"
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"I'm the doctor."
Scrubs
"Did you have coupons for this hospital?"
Scrubs
"You probably want these people to wait outside."
Scrubs
"Would you guys mind..."
Scrubs
"- Now! - That was manly."
Scrubs
"- Want a hard candy? - Yes, please."
Scrubs
"Don't sweat it. I'm not wearing pants."
Scrubs
"I called down and requested a Spanish-speaking nurse."
Scrubs
"- I'll have trouble translating that. - Oh, good. It's you."
Scrubs
"Dude, the 1930s called and they want their lingo back."
Scrubs
"she's got this incredible energy and warmth."
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"But we've gotten close so I call him Hernia."
Scrubs
"Shut up."
Scrubs
"What now, Dr Barbie?"
Scrubs
"so I started her on a heparin drip."
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"Two."
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"- Three. - So, shall I..."
Scrubs
"I don't want everything run by me."
Scrubs
"it just makes me want to pick you up and shake you"
Scrubs
"Why?"
Scrubs
"Niners-Cowboys. Joe Montana to Dwight Clark,"
Scrubs
"Don't insult me."
Scrubs
"I don't know about others,"
Scrubs
"I'm gonna order an ABG just to be safe."
Scrubs
"Say..."
Scrubs
"It worked!"
Scrubs
"Listen, the important thing to remember is this won't hurt as much as you think."
Scrubs
"I'm ready."
Scrubs
"- A doll house? - Nope."
Scrubs
"How about the ability to make quick decisions?"
Scrubs
"Enough. I don't think you realise how serious this is."
Scrubs
"We need to be worried about your mother."
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"I'm sorry, we haven't met. I'm Dr Dorian."
Scrubs
"- You're very cute. - Thank you. Come on, let's go."
Scrubs
"- Candles are still lit. - OK."
Scrubs
"Too personal."
Scrubs
"- Stop and ask for directions. - You wanna drive?"
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"We're gonna have to start you on dialysis."
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"I'm not a big fan of dialysis."
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"We don't really have a choice."
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"I think I'm ready to die."
Scrubs
"Sweetie, I'm 74 years old. I'm ready to go."
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"- No, I'm not. - Everybody dies some time."
Scrubs
"Sir, we're really lucky we found the lymphoma when we did."
Scrubs
"He sounds terrific. You two are becoming best pals, huh?"
Scrubs
"Or we could take turns bowling your patient"
Scrubs
"down the hallways of my hospital."
Scrubs
"- I can explain. - Spare me."
Scrubs
"Her BP's dropping. Maybe it's time to push thrombolytics."
Scrubs
"- What would you do? - That's way out of my league."
Scrubs
"She needs to know what's going on."
Scrubs
"You gotta accept that everything we do here, everything,"
Scrubs
"But, ultimately, it always ends up the same way."
Scrubs
"- I win. - Where? I don't see."
Scrubs
"Hope I helped."
Scrubs
"Yeah, but he's got a point. This is a hospital."
Scrubs
"- He's coming out. - Cool."
Scrubs
"And they'd give me reasons to change my mind."
Scrubs
"Speaking of which, I took the liberty of jotting down"
Scrubs
"a few things I think everybody should do at least once in their life."
Scrubs
"What happened to ''I'll be right back''?"
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"If it's any consolation, one of the reasons I never liked you"
Scrubs
"Here we go."
Scrubs
"- Now you're making stuff up. - No, I'm not. It's right here."
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"- You have had an amazing life. - Good. Now we agree."
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"Me? No, I've been off for two hours."
Scrubs
"So with your precious free time, you've been talking to an old lady."
Scrubs
"Come here."
Scrubs
"You're OK. You'll be just fine."
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"Not to worry."
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"I know."
Scrubs
"Your mother's kidney..."
Scrubs
"But some days, the odds are worse than that."
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"I'm really sorry."
Scrubs
"And on days like that, the best you can hope for"
Scrubs
"Hey, I'm Turk."
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"Anything."
Scrubs
"Even if it's just taking the time to lie on the grass"
Scrubs
"Why wouldn't I wanna go to the symphony?"
Scrubs
"Carla's your girlfriend, Elliot's my friend..."
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"Trust me. Don't get involved."
Scrubs
"I think you're being condescending and you're being overly sensitive."
Scrubs
"Excuse me for a second, just one second."
Scrubs
"You got something to say?"
Scrubs
"Nope. Not this time."
Scrubs
"I think you're being condescending and you're being overly sensitive."
Scrubs
"he said that one out of every three patients"
Scrubs
"I'm the doctor."
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"Sure, he's young but he's probably a very good doctor."
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"- Are you a good doctor? - Kinda too soon to tell."
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"Honesty, I like that."
Scrubs
"That'd be nice."
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"Make 'em know you're a man, not a boy."
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"- I'm fine where I am, thank you. - Make me."
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"Do it."
Scrubs
"Everybody outta here, now!"
Scrubs
"That's what I'm talking about."
Scrubs
"I'd say this is a simple laparoscopic hernia repair."
Scrubs
"This is embarrassing, you guys are wearing the same outfit."
Scrubs
"Where you going? ESPN Classic's showing the '82 NFC championship."
Scrubs
"No English, huh?"
Scrubs
"I admitted this really neat old lady today."
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"Surgeons generally don't like to get too close to patients."
Scrubs
"Maybe it makes it harder to cut someone open, or too risky."
Scrubs
"I feel like you're missing out. This Mrs Tanner,"
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"- What's his name? - His name's Hernia Patient."
Scrubs
"He must feel so safe and taken care of."
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"What did she say?"
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"considering a third of patients speak it."
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"Mrs Guerrero is a lupus patient with shortage of breath"
Scrubs
"It's really important you let me get to ten."
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"- I just thought... - Listen, cookie."
Scrubs
"You've been here over a month. This is Medicine 101."
Scrubs
"rest assured it will always be that you're an incredible pain"
Scrubs
"and every time I see your Kewpie-Doll face"
Scrubs
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