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Clips from Scrubs - My Old Lady (S01E01)

"until all the hours of my life that you've wasted"
Scrubs
"fall out."
Scrubs
"- Now laugh. - What?"
Scrubs
"Laugh so that she doesn't think I'm yelling at you."
Scrubs
"How fun was that?"
Scrubs
"Dr Kelso. I wonder if you could give me your opinion on a patient?"
Scrubs
"She's a 74-year-old renal failure, Mrs Tanner."
Scrubs
"- She's a neat lady. - That's what I said."
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"- You put her on diuretics? - Yeah, I ordered them."
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"These labs don't look good. It's time she got started on dialysis."
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"You know what you should do first, kiddo?"
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"- What's that? - Find her."
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"Freedom!"
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"''Went to the park.'' She..."
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"It's the Catch. I say ''Catch,'' no response."
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"How can no one know what the Catch is?"
Scrubs
"deep in the end zone, zero time left."
Scrubs
"- Sure. - Cool."
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"- David, right? I'm Turk. - What's up?"
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"- Want some IV? - No, I'm good."
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"- Mrs Tanner. - Here's the party."
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"We saved you a plate."
Scrubs
"It's Samantha's fifth birthday. You're not gonna make me miss this?"
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"- Don't you think? - That's probably a good idea."
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"Teach me to tell her she's doing fine."
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"Mrs Guerrero?"
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"You know what, Mrs Tanner..."
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"- A bike? - Nope."
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"- Nope. - How about this?"
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"- A pony? - No!"
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"Your grandmother, your..."
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"Here we go. Blow!"
Scrubs
"I increased the heparin to 1,500 units per hour."
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"Should be."
Scrubs
"Speaking of heparin, have you slept with Turk yet?"
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"When he's lost the will to live, I jump him."
Scrubs
"- So how long does that take? - A month, maybe two."
Scrubs
"What about you?"
Scrubs
"I like to use sex as an ice-breaker."
Scrubs
"And how's that working out for you?"
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"- Let me know when you find the hernia. - You got it."
Scrubs
"You passed his Cooper's ligament."
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"Cos I will pull over and let you drive this thing."
Scrubs
"Wait a second. Go back to where you just were."
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"What is that?"
Scrubs
"Shoot!"
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"That's basically it. Your kidneys aren't responding to medication any more."
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"Certain things you never expect people to say."
Scrubs
"I've got a ton of bricks for Dr Dorian."
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"Can I get that pen back?"
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"You're gonna have to shut your mouth at some point."
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"With dialysis you could live another 80 or 90 years."
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"You're being a little irrational."
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"Of course. I'll wait till you get here before I tell David."
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"I hope you're not using that phone to make a personal call."
Scrubs
"What we should do is the three of us play a game of stick ball."
Scrubs
"All we need is a stick, a ball and a pocket full of dreams."
Scrubs
"Spare you. That's good, sir, cos of the bowling thing."
Scrubs
"Your patients don't need friends, they need a doctor."
Scrubs
"She seems to be decompensating but thrombolytics scare me."
Scrubs
"A lot of times the patient bleeds out."
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"I'll be right back."
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"- She doesn't want dialysis? - But what does that mean?"
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"If she declines dialysis, there is no ethical dilemma."
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"But what about our duty to do everything..."
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"''What about our duty...?''"
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"Look, this has nothing to do with the patient."
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"This is all about you. You are afraid of death."
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"And you can't be. You're in medicine."
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"Here, diagonally."
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"Pretty sneaky, Death."
Scrubs
"Dr Kelso came down on you, huh?"
Scrubs
"Well, if it isn't the medulla oblongata. That's about 50 points there."
Scrubs
"I won. I'll just take your fruit cup and be on my way."
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"And that nurse came by to shave me again."
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"No. I think she's got a crush on you."
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"She's telling her family."
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"- You didn't tell them, did you? - It didn't come up."
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"Look, they don't need that burden."
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"OK, number one: eat a sausage and pepper hoagie from Enrico's."
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"I've done that."
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"Number two: go to Asia."
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"I'll take that as a yes."
Scrubs
"I can't believe I started to think I'd been wrong about you."
Scrubs
"Trying to choose between cherry soda and ginger ale, and you know what?"
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"It's a toss-up. Either way I get a cold drink."
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"I think I'm in trouble here."
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"I kinda liked being the only smart, strong chick in the joint."
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"OK, I'm gonna have a ginger ale."
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"Go to the top of the Eiffel Tower."
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"- Done. - Go to the top of the Meiffel Tower."
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"there is not one thing I regret as I lay here right now."
Scrubs
"For that matter, how many times have you sat on the grass and done nothing?"
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"You need to start taking some time for yourself."
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"- I will. - Good."
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"Now, get outta here. Go on."
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"Are you OK?"
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"I know you did everything you could for my son."
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"I can't tell you how glad I am he had a friend here with him."
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"Don't second-guess yourself. You made the right call."
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"BP's 120 over 80. Let's keep it that way."
Scrubs
"and think about all the things you still have left to do."
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"www.V2.Frigorifix.com"
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"- I didn't mean anything by it. - You meant something."
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"which is mostly broken bones, stitches, that sort of thing,"
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"that's admitted to this place will die here."
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"Hi, I'm gonna be your doctor."
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"That's enough!"
Scrubs
"Come on, that was funny."
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"We had this connection, you know?"
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"No, I don't know. Now please, let me get my sweat on."
Scrubs
"wanting to know where to send your membership."
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"I can't help it. I got a hernia patient to take care of."
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"Of course. One of our frequent flyers."
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"but under my care, you stay in hospital until I say it's OK to leave."
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"What are you gonna wish for?"
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"Does that sound like enough?"
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"- What?! - I'm sorry."
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"Actually, I do have a choice."
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"No, they don't."
Scrubs
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