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Clips from The Office - Diwali (S03E03)

"Well, to have Kelly explain it,"
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"You really do."
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"PAM: I love the material. I know."
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"How come you didn't get me one?"
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"I just feel kind of tired, you know?"
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"Maybe."
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"I just... I don't really have anyone to go with."
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"And if there was one thing I don't really care for,"
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"Diwali is a very important holiday for the Hindus."
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"It symbolizes the battle... All right..."
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"Here we are."
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"there are literally billions of people just like Kelly in the world."
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"What's... Oh, what? Where did that come from?"
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"Karen, my chips got stuck in the vending machine again."
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"I need your skinny little arms."
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"Oh."
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"Yeah, I shook it, I shook it."
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"We have such a roller-coaster thing, Karen and I."
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"It's very Sam and Diane."
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"Oh, that's what they call it."
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"This is the best meeting we have ever had."
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"MICHAEL: Thank you, Kevin."
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"Well, I find it beautiful."
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"but we shouldn't all be subjected to it."
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"Now, Karen, let's keep it to $20 a person this time."
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"Got it. Okay."
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"Once a quarter, the sales staff of this branch has to stay late"
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"What's that?"
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"(INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING)"
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"I thought you said this was a costume party."
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"An Indian woman in a sari."
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"You used your hands."
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"These s'mores are disgusting."
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"So, you're Kelly's sisters, huh?"
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"No, you know..."
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"Yep."
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"ANDY: Oh, that burns!"
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"Yes. Wow."
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"yet."
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"It's still very cool. Okay, thanks."
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"Well, I'm not crazy. Maybe I'm crazy in love."
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"No, I get it. I get it. You're not ready. We'll wait."
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"Yes."
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"Why don't I come with you?"
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"Good night."
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"That is so Michael. Is it?"
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"No one."
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"I looked to the children..."
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"Tuna! Are you kidding me?"
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"Oh, my God."
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"Wow. That's so spicy. Here."
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"Yeah. Yeah."
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"I... What? I didn't..."
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"No way, dude. I am not driving home."
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"These are not my shoes."
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"This is just like that show Taxicab Confessions..."
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"If you say one more word, I'm stopping the car."
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"This is going out to Indians everywhere."
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"have a happy, happy, happy"
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"There you go."
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"Nice dress, Ryan."
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"It's not a dress, it's a kurta."
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"Okay."
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"Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly,"
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"has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community."
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"What is Diwali, you may ask?"
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"(MIMICKING KELLY) "It's... I have... It's so super fun and it's gonna be great.""
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"Twenty minutes later you find out that it's essentially a Hindu Halloween."
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"You look so handsome."
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"Okay. So, between Meredith's minivan"
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"and if I borrow Bob's Yukon that should fit about 1 2 people."
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"I actually might not go. I'm feeling kind of tired."
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"Do you want to make Appletinis and watch Sex and the City at my place?"
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"Oh, I don't know. I haven't decided yet."
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"I don't get why you won't go. Did I do something wrong?"
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"I mean, I thought we were really close friends."
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"Maybe you've got mono."
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"Well, go with Dwight. He's single too, right?"
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"Yeah, totally single. Hundred percent available."
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"Are you guys going to this Indian thing tonight?"
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"I don't know. Who's... Who's going?"
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"Oh, you mean like, "Is Pam going?""
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"Don't go. They eat monkey brains."
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"MICHAEL: Hey, hey, hey. Stop that."
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"That is offensive. Indians do not eat monkey brains."
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"And if they do, sign me up"
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"because I am sure that they are very tasty and nutritional."
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"It's important that this company celebrates its diversity."
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"And you know what, Stanley,"
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"come Kwanza time, I have got you covered, baby."
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"I don't celebrate Kwanza."
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"Really? You should. It's fun."
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"I love the people here."
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"is that they can be terribly, terribly ignorant"
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"about other cultures."
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"And I don't want them embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend, Carole."
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"But frankly, I'm a little appalled"
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"that none of you know very much about Indian culture."
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"So, without further ado, Kelly, you are on!"
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"and I got the raddest outfit."
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"Kelly? It has sparkles..."
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"Why don't you tell us a little bit about the origins of the holiday?"
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"Oh, I don't know. It's really old, I think."
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"How many gods do you have?"
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"Like hundreds, I think, maybe more. I don't know."
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"And that blue, busty gal, what's her story?"
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"She looks like Pam from the neck down."
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"DWIGHT: Pam wishes."
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"Kelly, I'll take this one."
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"Diwali is a celebration of the coronation of the God-king Rama"
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"after his epic battle with Ravana, the demon-king of Lanka."
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"...between good and evil... ...all right."
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"This isn't Lord of the Rings."
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"I'm sorry."
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"(PHONE RINGING)"
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"I started biking to work."
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"Josh does it and he lives a lot farther away than I do."
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"And also it saves gas money, keeps me in shape, helps the environment"
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"and now I know it makes me really sweaty for work."
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"Nice basket."
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