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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #1.3 (S01E01)

"it keeps incredible time!"
Chappelle's Show
"You're right, Jessica, I do!"
Chappelle's Show
"Ha, ha, ha!"
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"Better get rid of it, before one of our customers"
Chappelle's Show
"bids on it!"
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"I'll start the bidding at $9.95."
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"You dick."
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"Pretty damn bad, huh?"
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"It gets worse."
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"Okay, now, I'm hearing we've gotta move on"
Chappelle's Show
"Now, we have a beautiful set of cubic zirconia earrings"
Chappelle's Show
"Oh, very nice."
Chappelle's Show
"Nice, huh?"
Chappelle's Show
"Oh, Tammy."
Chappelle's Show
"Looks like someone's having a herpes outbreak."
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"No, that's genital herpes."
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"Believe me, I should know, I've had it since 1979."
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"Remember that place in..."
Chappelle's Show
"Okay, our sportswear tsunami continues to gather strength."
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"We have more ladies' bathing suits."
Chappelle's Show
"Me Jane. She hairy."
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"have you noticed that?"
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"(applauding)"
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"What would you do if you seen that lady?"
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"Gotta do what I gotta do, son."
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"but I collect DVDs."
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"an epic motion picture was unleashed on America,"
Chappelle's Show
"This one-of-a-kind, 25th anniversary"
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"commemorative edition"
Chappelle's Show
"features extras including cast interviews,"
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"director commentary, and never-before-seen outtakes."
Chappelle's Show
"Kizzie, behold, the only thing greater than yourself."
Chappelle's Show
"I told y'all not to give me a real baby."
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"Pissin' all over me and (beep)."
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"Catch all the gags, spills, and hilarious practical jokes."
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"Coming fore to carry me home."
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"Your name is Toby!"
Chappelle's Show
"Kunta Kinte!"
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"I said, your name is Toby!"
Chappelle's Show
"Kunta Kinte!"
Chappelle's Show
"I'm sorry, are you all right?"
Chappelle's Show
"You sorry?"
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"I'm gonna show you sorry, man!"
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"(laughing)"
Chappelle's Show
"Hold on, let me get up there."
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"We'll be right back, with more Chappelle's Show."
Chappelle's Show
"Chappelle's Show, ow."
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"No, I've had several attempts, man."
Chappelle's Show
"Uh, I actually, my first..."
Chappelle's Show
"my first show that ever got on the air"
Chappelle's Show
"was it was just irrelevant and not funny"
Chappelle's Show
"that almost got to the air, but then I got sued"
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"It was raw and gritty."
Chappelle's Show
"Like life!"
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"I got some clips I'll show you."
Chappelle's Show
"(announcer) Coming this fall, on the WB:"
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"Zapped!"
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"Watch the look on these kids' faces"
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"How're you kids doing?"
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"Well, kids, a doctor's job is hard,"
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"and it never gets harder than telling you guys"
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"(laughing)"
Chappelle's Show
"Foster care is coming to pick you guys up,"
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"and somebody's gonna adopt you, right like this!"
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"All right, guys, be good."
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"Be good to each other."
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"Hopefully, they don't split you up."
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"All right, take care."
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"Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you..."
Chappelle's Show
"Why did you do this to us?"
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"Look out, America,"
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"'cause when Dave Chappelle's around, you might get zapped!"
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"Julie!"
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"What up, playboy?"
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"Oh, come on, man, with all that shouting."
Chappelle's Show
"JJ.?"
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"I ain't JJ, but it was dyn-o-mite!"
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"What?"
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"This wasn't real, this was fake!"
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"Well, what's that in his pants?"
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"It's a dildo, dawg!"
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"(laughing)"
Chappelle's Show
"Now, the next one is the one that really"
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"Observe."
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"This is a robbery!"
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"Don't you move, baby!"
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"I don't wanna see a peep outta you."
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"Hey, big time, what you looking in my face for?"
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"That's against the protocol of robbery!"
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"Shoot this motherfucka."
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"Please, I have a family."
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"Oh, you got a family?"
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"Well, guess what?"
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"With salt and pepper."
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"You understand?"
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"Now, I'm getting outta here."
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"I wanna tell y'all something..."
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"(laughing)"
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"Freeze, right there!"
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"Ow!"
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"Sorry."
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"This Fall, on the WB!"
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"(moaning)"
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"at the dubba WB."
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"I like chicken..."
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"That's the most racist shit ever."
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"Welcome back, niggers, to the WB."
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"It's actually dedicated to women who don't appreciate"
Chappelle's Show
"I tell you ladies, especially y'all at home watchin',"
Chappelle's Show
"appreciate your bodies for what they are"
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"What's with all the stretching?"
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"Yeah, all set?"
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"so I had to wear a regular one."
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"You'll be fine, let's go."
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"Oh, don't worry, Sheila, I'm sure nobody notices."
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"Really?"
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"Yeah."
Chappelle's Show
"They're not talking about you."
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"Sweet Jesus, did you see the jugs on that brunette?"
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"(man) Yeah!"
Chappelle's Show
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