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Clips from Chappelle's Show - Episode #1.3 (S01E01)

"I'm gonna go in."
Chappelle's Show
"Sheila, it's okay."
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"Ow!"
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"Stupid boobs."
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"Nothing but an inconvenience."
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"I wish I didn't have 'em!"
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"Careful what you wish for."
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"What? Who are you?"
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"Who I am is not important,"
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"but what you said about those titties is."
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"(bells ringing)"
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"(Dave) It's easy, try it."
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"(Sheila) Hey, that's me."
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"And that's frank, the human resources man at my office."
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"Not today."
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"Yeah, well, um... we'll see."
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"Why is he being so dismissive?"
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"What happened to my boobs?"
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"Oh, you just answered your own question."
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"Not well."
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"That woman was a flat-chested bore."
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"For Pete's sake, she's got no melons."
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"Yes."
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"My guy friends aren't like that."
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"Boo-yah!"
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"He's always been so helpful to me, such a loyal friend."
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"do you think you could help?"
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"Wow, I didn't even know we were buddies."
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"I always thought I was your personal handyman"
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"'cause you're constantly asking me for favors"
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"that I don't want to do."
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"You know what you need?"
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"A new set of titties and a boyfriend,"
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"Well, it's not what's gotten into him"
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"as much as it is what's gotten out of you."
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"By that, of course, I mean your massive milk bladders."
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"Paul, wait!"
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"I still have big boobs!"
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"He can't see you."
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"We'll see about that!"
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"God damn, Sheila!"
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"You men are the worst."
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"You're right."
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"Oh, word?"
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"Where's Sheila?"
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"Wasn't she supposed to be a bridesmaid?"
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"Oh, I was gonna have her be one,"
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"then I thought, "am I getting bridesmaids,"
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"or starting an itty-bitty titty committee?""
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"Oh!"
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"(laughing)"
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"I didn't even invite her to my wedding."
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"Oh, snap!"
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"How could she do that?"
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"'Cause your friends are bitches!"
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"Oh, keep it real, girl, them things are lifesavers."
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"but the fate of the world..."
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"you hear me... the world rests on them chesticles!"
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"Shazam!"
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"He used to live next door to you."
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"You know, masturbating to you and those giant cans of yours"
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"I don't want the world to end"
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"just because of my sweater puppets!"
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"Oh, that's a beautiful thought."
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"You should've thought about that"
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"before you wished them sweet tits away."
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"World's going to end in about 10 seconds..."
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"which is just enough time to suck a titty."
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"(screaming, explosion)"
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"You've taught me a valuable lesson today."
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"I'm never going to curse my fun bags again."
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"In fact, I might even get implants."
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"All right."
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"You listen, world,"
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"Thanks, mister."
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"You must be an angel or something."
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"I ain't no angel, I'm a janitor."
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"Girl, I am high on PCP."
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"You smoke sherm... a little sherman?"
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"No... uh, who are you?"
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"I'm just a nigga that love titties."
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"Hooray!"
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"I gotta go to the Chappelle's Show."
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"God bless America."
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"I'm out!"
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"(horn honks)"
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"Now I gotta get up, wash all this blood off me,"
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"and still get to the club before last call"
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"'cause it's Fri-day night!"
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"(laughing)"
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"The WB!"
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"WB?"
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"Man, you told me this (bleep) was for HBO, man."
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"Look, it's Paul."
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"He's always been so helpful to me, such a loyal friend."
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"Word?"
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"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening, what did you say?"
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"I had some titties on my neck."
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"(announcer) Dave Chappelle!"
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"Like, recently, I'm not bragging..."
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"They offered me my own line of clothing."
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"This was on just last night,"
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"The rugs don't quite match the drapes,"
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"Now, you guys, I don't know if you guys are big movie buffs,"
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"For god's sakes, pick this one up."
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"Oh, I'm... hey, I'm sorry."
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"I'm gonna show you sorry!"
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"I told y'all he's scared of me!"
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"by me having a white friend, like, "how incredible,"
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"And then, I did a show after that"
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"and he goes by the name, Dave Chappelle!"
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"when Dave tells them their parents are dead."
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"Dave Chappelle?"
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"All right, everybody, get on the fucking floor!"
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"Be prepared to get zapped"
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"I'm a little worried, I didn't have a clean sports bra"
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"No."
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"Mazel tov!"
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"Listen, I didn't want to put this on you,"
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"he lost his mind and blew up the world!"
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