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Clips from The Simpsons (1989) - Woo-Hoo Dunnit? (S30E30)

"Well, nothing is my fault 'cause my dad raised me so rotten."
The Simpsons (1989)
"-Oh, yeah? -It was Bart!"
The Simpsons (1989)
"-(overlapping arguing) -Goes to show how irresponsible you are!"
The Simpsons (1989)
"Shut up, all you innocent people."
The Simpsons (1989)
"I wish I was never responsible for you."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Stop it, stop it!"
The Simpsons (1989)
"but at the end of the day, what matters is that we enjoyed"
The Simpsons (1989)
"watching bad things happen to human beings"
The Simpsons (1989)
"who aren't us."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Ah! Help, Mother."
The Simpsons (1989)
"(Ralph humming)"
The Simpsons (1989)
"(Lisa groans)"
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"on your innumerable failures."
The Simpsons (1989)
"you're thinking deep thoughts."
The Simpsons (1989)
"You got what you need?"
The Simpsons (1989)
"'Cause I got an itch, I got to scratch it."
The Simpsons (1989)
"than before it started."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Homer Simpson, you'll leave a ring."
The Simpsons (1989)
"How many of these things did you have made?"
The Simpsons (1989)
"That's what I thought, but it was only 65 cents apiece."
The Simpsons (1989)
"So 650 bucks total?"
The Simpsons (1989)
"(gasps) It was you, but the whole time you denied it."
The Simpsons (1989)
"It was always you!"
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"(sobbing) I-I can explain."
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"No! No explanation."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Kids, get in here!"
The Simpsons (1989)
"For once in this marriage, you did the wrong thing."
The Simpsons (1989)
"I am going to savor this."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Well, let me just explain why."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Every day, you go out to your friends, to Moe's."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Life to you is an adventure."
The Simpsons (1989)
"that might make me somebody."
The Simpsons (1989)
"on myself."
The Simpsons (1989)
"I completely understand."
The Simpsons (1989)
"-I'm afraid I have to say... -Lisa, I just want you to know"
The Simpsons (1989)
"your mother's about to say that the money was eaten by rats."
The Simpsons (1989)
"-But... -How did rats get inside the can?"
The Simpsons (1989)
"Uh... Grampa left it open."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Oh, why do they blame everything around here on me?"
The Simpsons (1989)
"-(microwave dings) -Oh, good, the cat's done."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Marge, I'd like to take a walk with the greatest woman ever."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Oh."
The Simpsons (1989)
"HOMER: We shared a dark secret."
The Simpsons (1989)
"It was so sexy."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Marge, I have a secret, too."
The Simpsons (1989)
"(whispers): I'm losing my hair."
The Simpsons (1989)
"W-Wait, what do you mean unsolved?"
The Simpsons (1989)
"My public expects me to solve the mystery, Bob."
The Simpsons (1989)
"It's not like we can just change the format of the show."
The Simpsons (1989)
"You just read the copy."
The Simpsons (1989)
"solve the freakin' crime, be told who did it."
The Simpsons (1989)
"(hoarsely): And I am the soothing voice,"
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"-the reassuring voice that-- Ah! -(pop)"
The Simpsons (1989)
"(quietly): Did you hear that? Oh, my God,"
The Simpsons (1989)
"Quick! Prep him for cord transplant."
The Simpsons (1989)
"We don't have a human donor."
The Simpsons (1989)
"And I'm (bleating): ba-a-ack."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH"
The Simpsons (1989)
"(gurgling)"
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"(pings)"
The Simpsons (1989)
"This is Dateline: Springfield."
The Simpsons (1989)
"She saved me from a dateless prom."
The Simpsons (1989)
"He saved me from a life with my sisters."
The Simpsons (1989)
"What are you filming us for?"
The Simpsons (1989)
"NARRATOR: Marge and Homer raised their three kids"
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"in an atmosphere of love, laughter"
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"and crushing economic anxiety."
The Simpsons (1989)
"The only thing they needed was each other."
The Simpsons (1989)
"When I first met the Simpsons, in 1947,"
The Simpsons (1989)
"they were building affordable homes in Pennsylvania."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Little Maggie was going to be the next Lindbergh baby."
The Simpsons (1989)
"But John Foster Dulles had other ideas."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Don't interview Grampa."
The Simpsons (1989)
"He almost made Ken Burns quit the business."
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"(laughs) That pompous old fool was more boring than baseball."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Springfield seemed like the safest place in the world."
The Simpsons (1989)
"But that tranquility was about to be shattered,"
The Simpsons (1989)
"Who wants mac and cheese?"
The Simpsons (1989)
"return home from a trip to the market."
The Simpsons (1989)
"MARGE: Whatever we didn't spend, I'd donate"
The Simpsons (1989)
"to Lisa's secret college fund."
The Simpsons (1989)
"What happened next was one of those life-changing moments"
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"NARRATOR: The entire college fund, $670.42, was gone."
The Simpsons (1989)
"of going to college for three weeks,"
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"without a food plan, was over."
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"For any parent of young children,"
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"the thing you dread most is losing a can full of money."
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"Uh, Chief, you found something?"
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"(sighs)"
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"So we were back at square one."
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"It was not your typical break-in."
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"No sign of forced entry."
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"I mean, the dog didn't even bark."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Somebody knew exactly where to rub him. The tummy."
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"(moans)"
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"(moans): Oh, oh, God, that's great."
The Simpsons (1989)
"Oh, there's no way I'm barking."
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"Oh, Lou, you got to teach my wife to do this."
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"This just didn't pass what cops call "the smell test.""
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"I've watched a lot of cop shows in my day."
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"Let me just stop this documentary, or "doc,""
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"Borrowing. Borr-ow-ing."
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"NARRATOR: And so this nuclear family began to explode,"
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"as suspicion focused on one man."
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"Oh, what about the important clue the police missed?"
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"This is an expensive table,"
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"and my family knows I don't want it stained."
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"a desperate plea to the public for help."
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"-They didn't have to wait long. -(phone beeps)"
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"MILHOUSE (over phone): Nelson came to school today"
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"with a salon-quality haircut."
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"His family doesn't even have money for milk."
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"He eats cereal with rain wate."
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"I swear it on my very bone."
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"Sincerely, anonymous caller."
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"But just as you're about to give up after two calls,"
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"HELEN (over phone): I would like to accuse Marge Simpson"
The Simpsons (1989)
"She told my husband, the minister,"
The Simpsons (1989)
"that she was an addict."
The Simpsons (1989)
"(Helen chuckles)"
The Simpsons (1989)
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