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Clips from The Simpsons - The Springfield Connection (S06E06)

"...John Williams must be rolling around in his grave."
The Simpsons
"Be careful. These are dangerous streets for us upper-lower-middle-class types."
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"I, like, totally won again."
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"I think they're related, or at least in cahoots."
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"You're giving three-car monte a bad name!"
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"Surely you don't blame me?"
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"It's people like you who are ruining our downtown promenades and piazzas."
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"- Bye-bye! - Somebody stop him!"
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"No, Marge!"
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"- See? - Cuff him, boys."
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"Yes. It is exhilarating to see police get their man and save a hysterical woman."
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"Easy, now, sweetheart. Homie's here."
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"Face it, Lis. You're too puny to..."
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"You think you're pretty hot, huh? Well, we got everything we need on you."
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"What? What? What? This better be about pizza."
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"Actually, I'm interested in becoming a police officer."
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"...which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing."
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"Homer, there's no reason for you to feel threatened."
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"It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge."
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"Hey, everybody! Mom's home."
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"Whatever you do, we'll be proud of you."
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"Homer, give me my pepper spray!"
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"People. Ward and Van Zuylen, stake out Doughnut Land."
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"Keneally and Earhart, back them up."
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"Fitz and Garcia, it's your turn to sleep in."
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"...you're inexperienced and vulnerable..."
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"I just wanted to say hello."
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"Hello."
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"You are the new cop on the beat?"
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"Two hundred. No, no. I mean, nothing. I don't take bribes!"
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"...with my unseeing back to the money on the table."
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"Don 't you think for one minute you can go on..."
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"It's illegal for you to operate that class-9 vehicle without pads and a helmet."
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"So how are you, Mrs. Krabappel?"
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"Finished."
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"Looks nice. It's a good length for you."
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"Mom, I know your intentions are good."
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"...instead of jamming people into overcrowded prisons?"
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"Hello, Lisa. Help me bite crime."
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"Hey, hey! We've offended Herman."
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"That guy sure likes his fresh air."
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"This police radio entertains me with other people's miseries..."
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"Put that away. Radar guns give you cancer."
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"Hey, what could be going 100 miles per...?"
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"Your house? Your house?"
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"I'm still all those things."
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"...and unplugging the clogs of our legal system."
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"You're cooking what for dinner?"
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"Car parked across three handicapped spaces."
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"- Homer! - Hey, Marge. How's my little piglet?"
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"- You're not really arresting me? - You have the right to remain silent."
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"If that's the worst thing that happens to you today, consider yourself lucky."
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"Are you really allowed to execute people in a local jail?"
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"From this point on, no talking."
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"I'm sorry I had to arrest you, Homer, but what I did was right."
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"You stay on your side and I'll stay on my side."
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"Yeah, let's drink some beer."
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"All right, guys. Pipe down. I got some more in the garage."
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"I wonder why he's so eager to go to the garage."
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"- You're late, Herman. - Surely you don't mind waiting..."
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"Yeah. Who would suspect that they're counterfeit jeans?"
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"Not so fast."
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"Okay."
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"Maybe you should just stop entirely."
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"...and said, "Me too!""
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"Is Bart home?"
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"I guess I am putting up the Halloween decorations a little early."
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"- Go, Mom! - Bust him! All right, Mom!"
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"I'm sorry I teased you."
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"You're a really good cop. I'm proud of you."
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"So long. Gotta catch the 501."
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"Marge, how did you know?"
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"They've mysteriously disappeared."
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"Looking good, boys."
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"That's it. There's too much corruption on this force. I quit."
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"I don't think they're coming back."
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"Crap. I fold."
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"They're butchering the classics."
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"Could that bassoon have come in any more late?"
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"Laser effects, mirrored balls..."
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"Devil-iciously satirical. I wonder if anyone else got that."
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"We're out of here!"
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"So avoid eye contact, watch your pocketbook, and suspect everyone."
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"- Three-card monte. - Easy money!"
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"Homer, these games are fixed."
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"Then how come that guy's winning?"
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"Way to go, bro!"
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"He looks and acts just like the dealer."
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"Just pick the red card. It's totally not hard."
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"Twenty on this one, my good man."
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"Sorry, dude. Black."
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"How dare you prey on the greedy and stupid like this!"
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"He's getting away! Come on! Come on!"
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"I must warn you..."
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"...sometimes ordinary people get a surge of adrenaline."
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"I'll be back on the street in 24 hours."
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"We'll try to make it 12."
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"Marge, are you okay?"
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"Oh, for crying out loud."
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"Hey, Mom. Is this how you caught him?"
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"Lisa, unhand your brother."
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"Yeah, like that really hurt."
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"Mom, was catching that guy the most exciting thing you've ever done?"
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"Well, it was pretty exciting."
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"But celery soup's pretty exciting too."
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"Strange. Regular ham doesn't thrill me anymore."
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"I'm crossing over to deviled ham."
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"Hey, Mrs. Simpson, I just got the new issue of Sponge and Vacuum."
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"All right, get in there."
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"- You're going down. - I want a piece of him."
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"- Excuse me. - What? What? What?"
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"You did what?!"
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"I borrowed your nail clipper. What's the big deal?"
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"Nothing. I'm just edgy since your mother told me she wants to be a cop."
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"Cool! Will you bring me along when you do evictions?"
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"- You got it, little buddy. - You being a cop makes you the man."
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"Which makes me the woman. And I have no interest in that."
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"Besides occasionally wearing the underwear..."
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"You'll always be the man of this house."
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"Thanks, honey."
The Simpsons
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