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Clips from The Simpsons - The Springfield Connection (S06E06)

"All right, you scrawny beanpoles."
The Simpsons
"Forget about the badge! When do we get the freaking guns?!"
The Simpsons
"Hey, I told you, you don't get your gun until you tell me your name."
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"I've had it up to here with your "rules"!"
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"They never seem to find the door."
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"You missed the baby. You missed the blind man."
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"Look at that. A pony."
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"They didn't have my size shirt, but you get the idea."
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"Wow, Mom. I never pictured you as any kind of authority figure before."
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"Marge, I want you to take care of yourself out there."
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"You've become very dear to me."
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"Homie, of course I will."
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"Mom, if someone shot at the mayor, would you have to take the bullet?"
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"- I suppose I would. - What about a Coke machine?"
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"- No. - TV with a picture of the mayor on it?"
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"- Well, thank you, honey. - As long as it's constitutional."
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"Oh, Marge. One squirt and you're south of the border."
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"Incapacitating."
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"And, Simpson..."
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"...seeing how this is your first day..."
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"...your beat is Junkyville and Bumtown."
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"Hello, Mr. Hutz."
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"I'll have you know the contents of that dumpster are private."
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"You stick your nose in, you'll be violating attorney-dumpster confidentiality."
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"Okay. I know the drill."
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"What will it be? One hundred? Two hundred?"
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"I will just leave this money on the table..."
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"- That's better. - That's better."
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"I got a report on a domestic disturbance at this address."
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"There's an inflatable bath pillow that Mother and I both enjoy."
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"Later, as I prepared to bathe..."
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"...I noticed, to my horror, that someone..."
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"...had slashed the pillow."
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"Who called the police?"
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"- We both did. - We both did."
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"Why don 't you two settle down. I'm sure you can get another pillow."
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"Well, I could send it back to Taiwan for repair. But why should I have to?"
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"I've done nothing wrong!"
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"And I don 't give permission for my face to be on TV. I want it blurred."
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"What are you gonna do with your day off?"
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"I just want to relax and forget that I'm part..."
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"- But, Mom... - It's for your own safety."
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"I just hope they have Us magazine in heaven."
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"I can't go to the library anymore. Everybody stinks."
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"Don't stop talking on account of me. I may be a cop, but I'm still your friend."
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"Law-abiding. I'm done."
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"Moe, I've never seen you here before."
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"You don't have to call me "officer." I'm not on duty here."
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"Oh, my Lord! Something horrible has happened!"
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"Fooled you, Flanders."
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"Made you think your family was dead!"
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"Did you get it?"
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"They're not, though."
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"- But you thought they were. - Yeah."
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"But they're not."
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"That's a good one."
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"And that's the drunk tank, and this is Mommy's desk."
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"But aren't police a force that maintains the status quo for the wealthy elite?"
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"Don't you think we should attack social problems..."
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"Look, Lisa! It's McGriff the Crime Dog."
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"Hey, great news, guys! I picked up a nudie deck for our game."
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""The girls of the Internet.""
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"I'd go online with them any day."
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"No, I'm just going out for some fresh air."
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"None of that for me."
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"Oh, yeah... Oh, yeah, yeah."
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"Homer, you sure it's okay to smoke Cuban cigars and gamble..."
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"...now that your wife's a cop? - Are you kidding?"
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"Being a cop husband is one mighty sweet deal."
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"...we get a free funeral for Marge, God forbid..."
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"...and I can run background checks on whomever I want, Momar."
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"Please, please. Lx-nay on the Omar-may."
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"Hurry it up with the cards, Lenny. I've got you clocked at two miles per hour."
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"Illegal gambling in my house?"
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"Gee, it's so glamorously decorated, I thought I was in Vegas."
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"- We'll be going. - We'll just be going. See you around."
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"Marge, you chased away all my poker buddies."
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"I didn't mean to."
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"Not that long ago, you were so much more to me."
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"You were a cleaner of pots, a sewer of buttons, an unplugger of hairy clogs."
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"Only now I'm cleaning up the city, sewing together the social fabric..."
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"Everywhere I look, someone is breaking the law."
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"Dog, no leash. Man littering."
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"That's okay. I'm supposed to be working too."
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"You have to move your car."
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"I'll just be a second, Marge. I'm going to get some beer for those kids over there."
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"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. But you have to move your car now."
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"That's it! I'm gonna write you a ticket!"
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"- Come on! We're family! - You're breaking the law!"
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"You rip up that ticket and I'll give you back your hat!"
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"Homer, taking an officer's cap is an arrestable offense."
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"What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do, huh?"
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""I'm Officer Marge. I'm gonna arrest you. " Whoa! What?"
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"Marge, not here. Hey."
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"I choose to waive that right."
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"All right, Simpson. You're free to go."
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"Let me just finish this last lobster tail and raspberry torte."
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"When you need it, you'll be happy there are dedicated cops like me out there."
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"Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the police academy..."
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"...I thought it'd be fun and exciting. You know, like that movie Spaceballs."
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"Instead it's been painful and disturbing, like that movie Police Academy."
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"Hey, Homer. I'm worried about the beer supply."
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"After this case, and the other case, there's only one case left!"
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"Yeah, yeah! Barney's right!"
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"What about some beer? Yeah, Barney's right."
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"Well, la-di-da, Mr. Frenchman."
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"...for merchandise of this quality, Mr. Jericho?"
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"Looks like good stuff. But, of course, I'll have to sample it first."
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"These are fabulous!"
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"What better place to make the buy..."
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"...than in a cop's garage, where no one would suspect a thing?"
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"Herman, I had to come out here to see what's so funny."
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"A counterfeit-jeans ring operating out of my car hole!"
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"I'm gonna tell everyone! Wait here."
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"Herman, how could you?"
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"We've all thought about counterfeiting jeans."
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"But what about the victims?"
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"Hardworking designers like Calvin Klein, Gloria Vanderbilt or Antoine Bugle Boy?"
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"These are the people who saw an overcrowded marketplace..."
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"Advance on him, men."
The Simpsons
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