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Clips from All in the Family - Judging Books by Covers (S01E01)

"[ Archie, Edith ] ♪ gee, our old lasalle ran great ♪"
All in the Family
"You'll see, and no grabbing any samples."
All in the Family
"Hey. Didn't make it."
All in the Family
"I can take-- I know. You can take a joke with the best of them."
All in the Family
"What is this here ? "S.S. Pierce fancy cashews" ?"
All in the Family
"Probably. Dingbat !"
All in the Family
"I never said a guy who wears glasses is a queer."
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"Listen. This ain't england."
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"And the Japanese are a race of midgets,"
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"exhausting, incredible experience !"
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"Um, pardon me, Roger. You know my mother."
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"Really a pleasure."
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"And where they're going,"
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"Bobsleddin'. There's a manly sport."
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"Wow. Oh, wouldn't you know it."
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"Oh, what beautiful flowers !"
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"Why did I ask ?"
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"S.S. Pierce ! That's my favorite kind of cashew."
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"And all I'm saying, Barney, there's a time and a place for everything."
All in the Family
"Yeah, Steve is right. It's what you call your upward "spinal.""
All in the Family
"He's got you there, Archie. Yeah, at the discount house."
All in the Family
"Hey, speakin' about imports,"
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"And I mean leanin'. [ Chuckling ]"
All in the Family
"But this Wanda thing has got what they call..."
All in the Family
"Some redeemin' "socialness.""
All in the Family
"but they advertise in the times instead of the news."
All in the Family
"We never played the bears."
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"Oh, no, not today, Steve. Your money ain't no good around here."
All in the Family
"Know what I mean ? Huh ?"
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"sittin' there royal-like."
All in the Family
"Hey, you know what they got on at 3:00, channel 9 ?"
All in the Family
"They got a special on there. Great fights of the century."
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"Who's talkin' about pugilism ? I asked you to watch the fights."
All in the Family
"Nothing you're gonna show me or tell me is gonna shock me. Remember that."
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"I know something that'd shock you, daddy. I bet you can't do this thing."
All in the Family
"My head against the wall. I lift up the chair. Right."
All in the Family
"What'd you do to the chair ? I didn't do anything to the chair."
All in the Family
"Gimme the chair !"
All in the Family
"♪ da-da ♪"
All in the Family
"No, I-I-I mean, the pelvic construction is such that--"
All in the Family
"That's right, Archie, and I wasn't gonna say it, but it's true."
All in the Family
"That big football player..."
All in the Family
"That's what they're fillin' 'em up with in the schools nowadays."
All in the Family
"They take from one another. One kid looks crummier than the next."
All in the Family
""Closed. Owner gone nuts.""
All in the Family
"I love those combinations. Hey, hey ! Take it easy there !"
All in the Family
"[ Shouts ] Oh, gee !"
All in the Family
"it's-- it's-- it ain't only him."
All in the Family
"Now, you must know that this kid is kind of a la-di-da, right ?"
All in the Family
"Hey, put them glasses over here. I wanna go with you once more."
All in the Family
"Go ahead. Come on. You're nuts. All right."
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"you're gonna wanna bust him wide open when I tell you this."
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"He's right, arch. Huh ?"
All in the Family
"You wanna put me on, put me on, but don't tell me that you--"
All in the Family
"nyah !"
All in the Family
"[ Announcer ] From television city in Hollywood."
All in the Family
"♪ Boy, the way Glenn Miller played ♪"
All in the Family
"♪ songs that made the hit parade ♪"
All in the Family
"♪ guys like us we had it made ♪"
All in the Family
"[ together ] ♪ those were the days ♪"
All in the Family
"♪ and you knew where you were then ♪"
All in the Family
"[ Archie ] ♪ girls were girls and men were men ♪"
All in the Family
"[ Archie, Edith ] ♪ mister, we could use a man ♪"
All in the Family
"♪ like Herbert hoover again ♪"
All in the Family
"[ Archie ] ♪ didn't need no welfare state ♪"
All in the Family
"♪ those were the days ♪"
All in the Family
"Michael, could you please help me ? The can opener's stuck."
All in the Family
"Sure, babe. That's enough landmarks of economic thought for one afternoon."
All in the Family
"And could you help me set the table too ? Roger will be here in a few minutes."
All in the Family
"Sure. What's for lunch ?"
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"There's only one thing I wanna grab."
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"Michael ! [ Giggling ]"
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"I just don't think it's right, Archie."
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"Every time the church has a charity drive,"
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"I gotta say, "my husband don't have any old clothes." So ?"
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"So, I've been tellin' them that for 15 years."
All in the Family
"Listen, that's the trouble with this country today."
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"There's too many handouts."
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"Every guy and his brother's on welfare, which is the same as pickin' my pocket."
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"Well, if they're gonna pick my pocket, they ain't gonna do it in my suit."
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"I didn't hear the substance, but the tone tells me to set this down easy,"
All in the Family
"mind my own business and steal slowly out of the room."
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"Two seconds away from freedom."
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"If it's freedom from me you're inferrin' there,"
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"you'll notice I ain't got no bars on that front door."
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"Archie, I'm makin' a joke. Can't you take a joke ?"
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"If you're gonna answer your questions as well as ask them, what do you need us for ?"
All in the Family
"You're a regular one-man family."
All in the Family
"All right, you two. That's enough of that. Michael, I need you."
All in the Family
"Now, hold it, hold it. Come here a minute. Come here."
All in the Family
"What, are we gettin' too classy for peanuts ? Edith !"
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"I got no problem with peanuts."
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"Daddy, will you please stop it."
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"Those are for company, and besides, they only cost a few cents more."
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"Probably. What do you mean, "probably" ?"
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"I mean probably I did."
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"Well, probably you did could also mean probably you didn't."
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"That's the way it is with a word like "probably." Right ?"
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"What is all this, anyway ? Whattaya got here ? Is that whipped cream ?"
All in the Family
"It's clam dip. Clam dip ?"
All in the Family
"What's this ? What kind of fish is that ? Smoked salmon."
All in the Family
"Smoked salmon ? I only get tuna fish for my lunch."
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"Who you havin' here ? The Duke of windsor ? What difference would it make ?"
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"Whoever it is, you're not gonna like him. You don't like anything about us."
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"I don't think there's one thing about us you agree with."
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"I agree with that."
All in the Family
"That don't answer the question. Who's the big cheese you're havin' here for lunch ?"
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"Roger. Roger, the fairy ?"
All in the Family
"did you hear that, Edith ? You know who they're bringing around here for lunch ?"
All in the Family
"Roger. Sweetie pie Roger !"
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"Would you cut it out, huh ?"
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"He's their friend, Archie. Listen, Edith."
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"We run a decent home here,"
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"and we don't need any strange little birdies flyin' in and out of it."
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"Daddy, you stop that. Roger's not a strange little birdie."
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"His pal Roger is as queer as a four-dollar bill, and he knows it."
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"That's not only cruel, daddy, that's an outright lie."
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"You know something, Archie, just because a guy is sensitive..."
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"And he's an intellectual and he wears glasses, you make him out a queer."
All in the Family
"A guy who wears glasses is a four eyes. A guy who is a fag is a queer."
All in the Family
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