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Clips from New Girl - Bully (S01E01)

"Like you'd ever be seaworthy with those breasts. Boobies."
New Girl
"- What happened? Did I miss her? - You did."
New Girl
"Okay, lunchtime."
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"This cactus is like a symbol of my relationship with her."
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"Because being chased by predators"
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"Takes its toll"
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"So great, I'll see you Wednesday. You're the best around."
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"And why did Mr. Genzlinger dump you?"
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"- I can see us having babies. - Can we not...?"
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"Hey! Get my scissors out of your mouth."
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"- What? - You're a kid hater. You're one of us."
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"- Camera phones are encouraged. - No."
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"Look, I..."
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"Hit it!"
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"Find somewhere else For our loose change..."
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"My robot arm"
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"Whoo."
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"To humping."
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"I was like a river. Did you feel that?"
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"Did you feel me sweeping you along with the current of my body?"
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"You were like a canoe on my body river."
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"I wish there was a word that meant..."
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""complete satisfaction and complete self-loathing.""
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"I've never seen a woman bite her own shoulder before."
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"- That was the last time. - You said that twice last night."
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"You'll be back. I'm like your black-tar heroin."
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"You just need that sweet taste in your veins."
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"Schmiddle and the damage done."
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"Neil Young, yo."
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"Just get me out of here without someone seeing."
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"Schmidt?"
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"Oh."
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"- Did you have a sexual guest? - What?"
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"- The same girl from the other night? - I don't know what you're talking about."
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"It is. You slept with the same girl twice in a row?"
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"Was it a mistake? Was she wearing some disguise?"
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"Hey, Nick, Schmidt slept with the same girl twice in a row."
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"I owe you $5."
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"I thought I heard the door open at 3 a.m."
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"Those are sounds of true love. Bet she had the time of her life."
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"I love meeting girls you bring home."
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"I like to pretend like I'm your lover on the down low, Theodore K. Mullins."
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"Damn, Schmidt, in our bed?"
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"Where we shave each other?"
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"I've always loved you. You're my boo."
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"Theodore K. Mullins is not my type."
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"You gonna three-peat this ho? Who is this bitch? We wanna meet her."
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"I'm not gonna parade her around like some trophy."
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"You know me, I'm not that kind of guy."
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"Oh."
New Girl
"Schmidt told me this was the front door?"
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"What's wrong? She have a hunchback?"
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"- Dwarf parts? - Lovitz body?"
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"She happens to be an incredibly beautiful woman."
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"She one of your heavy gingers?"
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"- How big are her knuckles? - Butter body?"
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"Maybe it's a Hitler moustache."
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"I'm sorry, I just..."
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"I wanna banter with you guys."
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"I just, like, panicked and I made a Hitlerjoke. I'm sorry."
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"Hey, girl"
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"What you doing?"
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"Hey, girl"
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"Where you going?"
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"- Who's that girl? - Who's that girl?"
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"- Who's that girl? - Who's that girl?"
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"It's Jess"
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"Your science projects are looking great, you guys."
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"Love the potato battery, Harper. Good job."
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"Thanks. - Luke, I like your tree exhibit."
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"Think about changing the name."
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"Fine."
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"Whoa."
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"- You built a robotic arm. - I think we know who's gonna win."
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"- Anyone can still win, Brianna. - Even me, Miss Day?"
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"Yes."
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"Can I have lunch in here?"
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"Oh, no, Nathaniel, what's wrong?"
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"In the cafeteria, kids have started playing this game, coin slot."
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"They put pennies in my butt crack."
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"- I made 46 cents. - No, no, you earned that."
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"Um..."
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"Nathaniel, I'm gonna help you out."
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"Julia sent me a cactus."
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"She's on a business trip to China and she sent it to me out of the blue."
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"I'm not an idiot. She's gonna break up with me."
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"Who told you that?"
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"Did the cactus tell you that?"
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"Is this one of those fortune-telling cactuses...?"
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"Winston, think. She's gonna break up with me."
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"She doesn't think I can take care of a regular plant."
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"Well, you can't."
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"Any idiot can take care of a cactus, Winston."
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"- She thinks I'm idiot. - Why are you watering a cactus?"
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"- Because I'm idiot. - Julia sent him cactus..."
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"which means she's gonna break up with him."
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"I thought that was a joke..."
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"because otherwise that would be stupid and insane."
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"- Snap out of it, son. - Jess, you don't get it."
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"- Oh. - Oh, my God."
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"I'm not gonna quit on this. I'm gonna get her back."
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"There it is. Look at that."
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"Not bad. Just fix red eye, red eye, red eye."
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"Send."
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"- Hello? - Where are you?"
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"Oh, hey, Cecilia. Did you get my junk mail?"
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"I'm in front of your loft."
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"I know I said that last time was the last time, but..."
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"- You wanna come down? - Yeah, I wanna come..."
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"Yeah, I'll come down. That sounds good. All right."
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"I think I changed a life today, you guys."
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"I pulled a Gandhi, a real Gandhi."
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"There's a student of mine, he's been bullied for the past few months..."
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"so after warning the kids that there would be serious repercussions..."
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"if this continued, I delivered a lesson in the key of learning."
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"Learning minor."
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"He's a plump bird Who prefers the shelter of a hole"
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"He has a stubby beak And a nervous soul"
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"Let the sad sparrow fly on"
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"You think singing a song about a kid is gonna stop him from getting his ass kicked?"
New Girl
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