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Clips from M*A*S*H - The Longjohn Flap (S01E01)

"Oh, that‘s good. That‘s good."
M*A*S*H
"Just some copies oforders rescinding orders that were never sent out."
M*A*S*H
"Okay."
M*A*S*H
"— that you review our latest request for long underwear, — [ Repeating]"
M*A*S*H
"Hey, do you know those nice wooly caps with the earmuffs?"
M*A*S*H
"Soon as my hands thaw out, sir."
M*A*S*H
"J In the shank ofthe night when the dewin‘s all right J"
M*A*S*H
"JWell,you can tell them I‘ll be thereJ"
M*A*S*H
"I worked up a sweat out there."
M*A*S*H
"Certainly| am. You think| wanna catch cold and die like you?"
M*A*S*H
"Right after| wrote him I‘d be home for Christmas, whether Truman said I could or not."
M*A*S*H
"[Humming]"
M*A*S*H
"What? What? Areyou kidding?"
M*A*S*H
"Thanks, but| have no place to keep them."
M*A*S*H
"Why don‘t you take your other blanket and use that?"
M*A*S*H
"I‘d like to, but somebody stole it."
M*A*S*H
"This war is turning everybody into a criminal, and it‘s making me sick."
M*A*S*H
"[Sneezes]"
M*A*S*H
"Some people don‘t care about anybody but themselves!"
M*A*S*H
"Foldissimo."
M*A*S*H
"Well,|‘m in."
M*A*S*H
"I got to. I‘m down to my last three dollars and an old brassiere hook."
M*A*S*H
"—I gotta get even. — Suppose you lose?"
M*A*S*H
"—Against him? — Uh, I wanna see this underwear first."
M*A*S*H
"—I guess that beats two pair, right? — It sure does!"
M*A*S*H
"You lost my beautiful double—weave, semi—woolen, sensuously soft longjohns..."
M*A*S*H
"Oh. I haven‘t been this warm in days."
M*A*S*H
"| just lost a fantastic hand—warmer to another guy, and I wanna see who it is."
M*A*S*H
"She must have frostbite on her taste."
M*A*S*H
"Uh, well, when you‘ve been around for a while in this man‘s army,"
M*A*S*H
"you—you—you get to learn a few ofthe ins and outs."
M*A*S*H
"What the hell is he talking about?"
M*A*S*H
"I‘m gonna break his leg, set it, and break it again!"
M*A*S*H
"[Radar] She ’5 got quite an appetite."
M*A*S*H
"As I remember, I couldn‘t punish you then because your wife hadjust died."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, she got better. See, they only thought that she was dead."
M*A*S*H
"I have no need for them, sir, and ifyou want them, you‘d be more than welcome to them."
M*A*S*H
"[Clears Throat]"
M*A*S*H
"[Groaning]"
M*A*S*H
"|f| didn‘t think it would warm you up, Frank, I‘d come over there and beat you to a pulp."
M*A*S*H
"or the Tooth Fairy may come and knock out a// your teeth."
M*A*S*H
"Frank, how much do you love me?"
M*A*S*H
"Oh, Margaret, you‘re my pearl, my guiding star."
M*A*S*H
"ifyou had it."
M*A*S*H
"— Margaret, you know how I hate the cold. — [Shivering]"
M*A*S*H
"|can‘t pick up the smallest little thing without pain."
M*A*S*H
"Mickey Mouse has warts."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m not making small talk! That‘s the password!"
M*A*S*H
"“Crazy Klinger. He wears a dress." Take offyour clothes."
M*A*S*H
"|wantyour longjohns. Strip."
M*A*S*H
"I don‘t happen to have them anymore."
M*A*S*H
"|fyou had the guts to serve your country like the rest of us,"
M*A*S*H
"I don‘t even have a fur stole."
M*A*S*H
"Major Burns, nobody takes me seriously."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, sorry, sir. No offense."
M*A*S*H
"Outta my way, you freak."
M*A*S*H
"Ahh."
M*A*S*H
"Your underwear? Now they‘re your underwear?"
M*A*S*H
"And that febrile idiot didn‘t hold four tens against our throats..."
M*A*S*H
"Your underwear?"
M*A*S*H
"Only God knows where they are now."
M*A*S*H
"Well, have you stolen something?"
M*A*S*H
"Oh, my. Aren‘t they nice?"
M*A*S*H
"—I can‘t stand it anymore. —I know. I hearit too."
M*A*S*H
"— You hear it too? — Yes. It gets closer every night."
M*A*S*H
"pray for strength and—and guidance in order——"
M*A*S*H
"Yes, sir. Is there anything else you‘d like me to so note?"
M*A*S*H
"Uh—uh, some ofhim is,"
M*A*S*H
"Well, hi."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, yeah? Hey, can you identify them?"
M*A*S*H
"Fine."
M*A*S*H
"I told you it‘s a new dance. Very graceful, Henry."
M*A*S*H
"Couple of sadistic creeps."
M*A*S*H
"— You‘ve been throwing up? — Well, uh——"
M*A*S*H
"Go get Nurse Beddoes. We‘re cutting him open."
M*A*S*H
"No, you better give me gas. |don‘t wanna see any blood."
M*A*S*H
"Never mind me! Don‘t cut the longjohns!"
M*A*S*H
"[ Radar Over RA. ] A tten tion. A tten tion."
M*A*S*H
"— Shucks. ‘Tweren‘t nothin‘. — Yeah, well."
M*A*S*H
"Anyway, he wants, uh, you to have this token ofhis undying gratitude."
M*A*S*H
"Uh—uh. Forget it."
M*A*S*H
"How ‘bout—— [Coughs]"
M*A*S*H
"N"
M*A*S*H
"[ Wind Howling]"
M*A*S*H
"—I hope that wasn‘t something important you just threw away. — Oh, no, sir."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, this is ridiculous. Why can‘t they send us something decent to wear?"
M*A*S*H
"I hear they got a whole bunch ofwinter issue in a big warehouse in Seoul."
M*A*S*H
"Wish they‘d send us some ofthat stuff."
M*A*S*H
"You know, I am sick of going through Command."
M*A*S*H
"— Look, let‘s send a letter straight to Quartermaster. — Yes, sir."
M*A*S*H
"[ Wind Howling]"
M*A*S*H
"— Uh, Commanding Officer, —Commanding Officer,"
M*A*S*H
"— Quartermaster Corps, — Quartermaster Corps."
M*A*S*H
"— uh, Sir. —Sir—— Seoul."
M*A*S*H
"—Seoul, Seoul. —Seoul, Seoul."
M*A*S*H
"Uh, | gratefully acknowledge the receipt ofyour latest shipment ofsupplies to our unit."
M*A*S*H
"...to our unit."
M*A*S*H
"Oh, boy. I am wearing so many pair ofcotton drawers,"
M*A*S*H
"...thighs don‘t know each other anymore."
M*A*S*H
"Don‘t tell him about my thighs, Corporal."
M*A*S*H
"— What‘s the matter with you? — I‘m sorry."
M*A*S*H
"All right. Now paragraph two."
M*A*S*H
"— Two. — Okay."
M*A*S*H
"I respectfully ask, however,"
M*A*S*H
"parkas with fur liners——"
M*A*S*H
"— Oh, yeah, yeah! — Okay, put that down, but in militarytalk."
M*A*S*H
"Now then, uh——"
M*A*S*H
"due to the lack ofwarm clothing."
M*A*S*H
"Uh, have you got that?"
M*A*S*H
"J In the cool, cool, cool ofthe evening J"
M*A*S*H
"J‘When the singin‘ fills the air;"
M*A*S*H
"JAnd in the shank ofthe night when the dewin‘s all right J"
M*A*S*H
"JYou can tell them I‘ll be there J"
M*A*S*H
"JYou can tell them I‘ll be there J"
M*A*S*H
"JYou can tell them I‘ll be there J"
M*A*S*H
"[Humming]"
M*A*S*H
"Courage, Camille. Hey, you wanna turn down the radiator?"
M*A*S*H
"[ Wind Howling]"
M*A*S*H
"You‘re wearin‘ longjohns."
M*A*S*H
"— Where did you get ‘em? — My father sent ‘em to me."
M*A*S*H
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