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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Lewis Needs a Kidney (S05E05)

"( Sighs ) well, how are we gonna decide?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"( Birds twittering )"
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"We could play bingo."
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"Bingo?"
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"That's like asking me to play golf against Tiger Woods. Play you in bingo?"
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"- What? it's fair... it's a fair game. - No, thank you."
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"No. no."
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"Doesn't he have a... a cousin?"
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"- Yeah. - both: Louis Lewis."
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"All right, you know what?"
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"We'll let Lewis decide. How about that?"
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"Fine, let Lewis decide. Yeah, sure sure."
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"I'll abide by his decision. Will you?"
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"Yeah, most definitely, most definitely."
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"- I'm for that, I'm for that. - Okay."
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"Sure. no campaigning."
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"I don't want to find out you've been calling him up and saying,"
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"Hey."
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"Um..."
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"First of all, I'm really sorry about the other day."
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"I really had no idea that you didn't know about that."
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"I'm... I never would have said anything, obviously."
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"Is he... is he in?"
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"He's on the phone with Jeff right now."
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"Ah."
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"Well, what's it regarding?"
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"- I don't know. - Hmm."
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"- You didn't ask? - Nope."
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"Hmm. I wonder if he's campaigning in there."
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"Oh, jeez."
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"He didn't even tell me now."
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"Now, you... you would have found out eventually."
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"No, don't... don't cry."
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"It's all right, it's okay."
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"Don't... don't worry. I'm sure he was gonna tell you."
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"- ( Sobbing loudly ) - yeah, no, don't worry."
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"- Wait, what are you doing? - What?"
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"- What was that? - What are you talking about?"
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"What the hell, man? Why did you touch my hair?"
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"I was consoling."
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"- I was consoling you. - That wasn't consoling."
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"Touching hair is part of my consolation routine."
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"No, it's really weird. You're being really inappropriate."
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"- What? inappropriate? Are you crazy? - Yeah, you were."
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"Hey, what's... what is this? Again?! Again?! - ( All chattering )"
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"She's... she's crazy! I was consoling her!"
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"- He was coming on to me! - I wasn't coming on..."
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"- I'm leaving. - I was consoling her. I touched her hair."
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"- She thinks that's coming on, she's nuts. - I'm leaving!"
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"What... what a whack job."
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"- That's ridiculous! - Mm-hmm."
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"She thinks I'm coming on to her? Get out of here. Get the hell out of here."
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"- I don't know. - Same thing happened with Cheryl."
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"She said she was leaving. I thought she was leaving me."
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"She's just going out to have lunch with her friend."
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"- You really have evidenced... - What?"
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"Some pretty erratic behavior."
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"Get out of here. I was touching her hair. She's crazy."
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"Unbelievable."
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"So um..."
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"- Thanks. yeah yeah. - Huh? How about that?"
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"I'm a lucky man to have two of you guys"
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"come through for me. Thank you."
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"- Hey, far out. - So there you go. You've got your choice."
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"- Two... two kidneys. - Wow!"
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"- Of course... - Very grateful, man."
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"You know, I..."
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"I am considerably older than him."
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"But, you know, he's..."
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"There's a difference when you're younger, obviously."
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"Nah, a kidney's a kidney's a kidney."
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"( Chuckles ) I'm not so sure about that, but you know, whatever."
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"His are bigger too. It's a big hefty kidney,"
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"You could start drinking again if you wanted to with that thing."
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"That hurt my feelings a little bit, buddy."
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"Maybe not that. - 11 years sober. Thank you."
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"But, you know, uh... that's all."
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"when I got out of college, you don't know about."
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"I really didn't know you then, so..."
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"Please, I've been through everything."
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"Well, I don't think you did what I did, but..."
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"- Trust me. Times 30. - Uh, you're not really getting my drift."
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"- Listen, it... you're both a match? - Yeah."
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"I don't care how you figure it out. You know what?"
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"Flip a coin, man."
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"Eeny meeny miney moe. What do I care?"
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"Whack job."
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"My mother says to pick this one and out goes y-o-u."
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"Okay, I'm gonna flip this coin"
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"and this will be the kidney decider, all right?"
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"Um, why don't we do eeny meeny?"
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"- I thought we were gonna do a coin flip. - Let's do eeny meeny."
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"- We agreed on a coin flip. - I think I'd rather do eeny meeny."
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"- Fine. - we'll do eeny meeny miney moe."
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"- Let's just do it, okay? - Fine."
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"And before we go, I want to say something to you guys"
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"and I mean this. I admire the both of you."
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"I just wish I had a kidney match so I could be involved."
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"Well, you haven't taken the test."
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"Are you ready to do eeny meeny?"
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"- Yeah. - do you want to take the test?"
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"Who wants to be eeny?"
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"- Okay. - he'll be eeny."
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"No, it's good. You should be eeny."
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"That's what you want, right? Don't you want to be eeny?"
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"Want me to be eeny? Do you want me to be eeny?"
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"Okay, here we go."
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"If he hollers, let him go."
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"- What are you so happy about? - I won!"
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"No, you lost! You're out. You're it."
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"- No no no no no. - Yes yes."
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"- No, out goes y-o-u. You're the loser. - You you!"
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"- You're the loser. - No, you're the loser."
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"- Tell him, tell him, tell him. - Hold on a minute."
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"- We're idiots?! - I don't know how to play eeny meeny?"
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"- You don't know the first thing about eeny meeny! - Y-o-u. You're out."
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"- No, I'm safe. - Oh..."
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"- Lose with dignity. - All right, wait a second."
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"- We're playg eeny meeny miney moe, okay? - Yeah."
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"- Out goes y-o-u. - Right, you're it."
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