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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000) - Lewis Needs a Kidney (S05E05)

"Uh, he... he'll know what it's about. I'm a client."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- Hey, what's up? - I locked myself out of my car."
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"I'll come get ya."
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"No."
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"- What's difference? - It's our policy."
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"- This is a drive-thru line. - ( Horn beeps )"
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"- I wish I could help you, sir. - Oh, yeah, right."
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"Could you do me a favor? They won't let me order any food"
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"They won't let me order any food unless I'm in a car."
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"- Would you mind if I... - Woman: No, I'm sorry."
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"Huh? it's just insane."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- I'll tell you what. - Yeah."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"And the Asian salad. A strange combination,"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"It's... it's... it's..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"It's a slow transition. I'm... I'm..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- You got some... - Huh?"
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"Well, I had no idea"
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"that that was there. ( Laughs )"
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"- Oh, hey! - Pete: Jesus!"
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"- Hey. - this is Jeff."
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"Unbelievable."
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"- Oh. Lewis? - Yeah."
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"- He's gonna need a new one. - Oh, well,"
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"He's gotta find somebody who can..."
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"Got the right kidney for him"
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"first, the person who... Has to be tested,"
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"( Gasps ) oh, god."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"My luck."
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"Oh, god."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Might as well be called manson manson."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"but not a minute before."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Thank you, Louis Lewis."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Doesn't help me any. Schmuck."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"like everybody else."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"I mean, the only other option is if..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"You know, if a... you know, if a... if a good friend"
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"( Sighs )"
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"Larry: I don't know what to do."
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"The next time there's any sign of anything wrong"
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"with any of my friends... if I think they're gonna be going to the hospital,"
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"- Well, I mean, come on. - No, it's nice to know."
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"that is the deal, but we..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- Okay, let's just snuggle. - You can do that?"
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"- Yeah, we'll just snuggle. - See? It's sweet. That's nice."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"How nice it is?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- That's exactly what I'm talking about. - What's the problem?!"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"( Stammers ) and it gets... The snuggle tighter."
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"Good night."
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"I didn't know it was going to be about something like this!"
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"- Take it easy. - No."
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"I'll, uh, I'll take the test."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- Big fucking deal. - That's it?!"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"I mean, you're my friend. You should have jumped right on it."
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"I'm making it up now. I'll take the test."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Let me do that. I'm closing my eyes, but now I'm asking you..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- Yeah? - what are you saying?"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Would you takethe test?"
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"Let me say this: I would have gone on record at the deli. - ( Phone rings )"
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"Um..."
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"Yeah. Pete."
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"I've decided to take the test."
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"- It's the right thing to do. - Yeah."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- Absolutely. - absolutely."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- You're his friend. You're his manager. - Yeah yeah?"
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"You're his oldest and closest friend."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"If you're married to your wife for three years and I've known her for 20,"
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"but you are an employee of mine."
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"Okay, you're really reaching now."
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"Mr. David, what are you doing here?"
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"but I had a burger with a..."
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"At a Jack in the box with some guy and now I'm his alibi."
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"She comes into my office crying,"
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"It helps me save time and we ask those questions so that we're prepared"
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"when the phone call does get to me."
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"Okay. I'm sorry if I did anything that..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"and I should have something to you soon."
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"- No. - piece of cake. They can't see you."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"- That's very nice, very nice. - He'll be very happy."
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"Second from the right. That's him."
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"- 10:15? - yeah, 10:15."
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"- That's a late dinner. - My mother used to call it a late night snack."
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"He's a... he worked alongside of a dental hygienist."
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"- And he did some landscaping. - Yeah, I don't think so."
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"- I'm glad. - So am I."
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"- That makes two of us. - So you say."
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"We could..."
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"- You know, it's... it's fair. - Me play you in bingo?"
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"What's going on there?"
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"He doesn't want to give up his kidney until he's dead."
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"Louis Lewis."
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"- Let's shake on that. Okay. - Sure sure."
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"- No. no campaigning. - No campaigning."
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"Oh, I'm more likely to do it than you?"
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"Hey, Mr. David."
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"Oh, poor thing. Oh, jeez."
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"- You think she's leaving or quitting? - That's a good question."
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"I don't know. She said she's leaving."
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"- Oh, what a hassle. - Is that leaving or quitting?"
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"Did you get the news? Huh?"
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"And I'm not gonna... I don't want to get into that whole game."
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"Other than the fact that, you know, there's a lot about me that"
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"- Okay. - all right?"
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"And stay away from her, will you?"
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"Eeny meeny miney moe, catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go."
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"- Jeff: all right, go. - All right."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
"What you're doing is an unbelievable act of friendship."
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"No, I don't think I'm a match anyway. Let's just do eeny meeny."
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"- I'll be eeny. - Yeah, you can be eeny."
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"How come you want me to be eeny?"
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"- I'll be eeny. I'll be eeny. - Okay."
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"My mother says to pick this one"
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"- You give the kidney. You give the kidney. - No no no."
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"You stupid idiots! You don't even know how to play eeny meeny miney moe."
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"What the hell is all this screaming about?"
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"- Out goes y-o-u. - No, that person's safe."
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"Excuse me, you're not giving your fucking kidney."
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"- He can't even survive surgery. - How do you know?"
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"End of discussion, moot point."
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"and the other people stay in."
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"then the one who's out is the winner..."
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
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