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Clips from The Ben Stiller Show (1992) - A Few Good Scouts (S01E01)

"Have you ever rubbed two sticks together to make a fire?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"No, sir."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"We follow orders, or people's crafts turn out shoddy."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Yes, sir. - Are we clear?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Crystal."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"The facts are these:"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"He then woke up."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"They proceeded to perpetrate in giving a wedgie."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Then suspended him from a flagpole."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"He then fainted, fell off the pole, and skinned his knee."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...if you insist upon handling this case in the fast-food..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...slick-ass manner in which you handle everything..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...you'll wind up with one childproof, egg-eating, three-legged..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"He had no cold in a menorah?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Wait. What are you telling me? Scout Santiago's Jewish?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Cholesterol-free, Rowan-and-Martin, open-and-shut, Johnny-come-lately..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...brown, hot-and-sour..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"You want to investigate me?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Don't think you'll come down here, flash a merit badge, and make me nervous."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Fat-inducing, liposucted, Bruce-Willis-sneered..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- You want answers? - I want the truth!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- What do you want? - Truth!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Give me a T."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Give me a U."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Give me a T."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"All right. You got it."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
""I'm the guy from Terms of Endearment.""
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"That's why we brought someone else in to do it."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Mostly local kids all hopped-up on mead..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Quickly! Merlin has turned his wife into an ox!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- We'll go check it out. - I'll go with you."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Will you look at this? - Leave me alone!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"You got 100 people here waiting to pull the sword from the stone."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I have not been drinking."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I knew there was something special about this boy!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...they are suing the entire music industry for discrimination."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I mean, we've been in L.A. For eight..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"We've been in L.A. For eight years, and we have yet to get job one."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Come on. Four for nothing."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"The music industry is a hall of mirrors."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...who's willing to shake your rump and flaunt it..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"We have currently over 700 legal suits..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Kim is our legal counselor, if you will."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Well, he's not, I mean... He's not exactly..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Stay out!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...that God gave us these voices."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Yeah. Well, does he know a good lawyer?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I'm out of here."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Tonight on American Profiles:"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Buford, listen. Tell Sheriff O'Dell that if we don't expand..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Great."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"You know who you're talking to here, right? Good."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"And cancel my wrestling match with Leland."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...to preserve the hillbilly lifestyle by making it profitable."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- What you got? - Whittle-Quick."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"This is my eighth cousin and number one idea man, Claude."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Fully automatic, solar-powered foot picker."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"This is the tip of the iceberg."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"We're negotiating with a big defense firm about feud technology..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I'm not alone. There's a new breed of us young hicks on the move."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Good to see you. Hi."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Fellow hillbilly millionaires..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"On behalf of the Young Hillbillies Millionaires Club..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I don't see anybody else around here."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Things like craftsmanship, dedication to hard work."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"The good people at Gra..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Those damn kids!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"You've been warned!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Grady's Oats Instant Oatmeal."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"We can say words we couldn't say when we were on earlier."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- All right. That's enough. - More."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- "Pee-pee." - "Period.""
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"What's all the chitchatting back here?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
""Customers are always hungrier than they think they are.""
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...where you're sure to have the rootenist, tootenist, pootenist good meal."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I'm Faith, and I'll be your food gal."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Honey...! - I'm hungry."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Hey, there, soldier. How's it going? - Good."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"That feeling deep down inside..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"And that plan is T.J. O'Pootertoot's."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- What are you doing? - You must join us. T.J. Commands it."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"David!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"No!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"The pioneers who were snowed in and..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- No! - He's weak. Come with us."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- You'll snack forever. - No."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"T.J. Is the way!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Come on."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"It's not easy being the only female member of a practically all-male cast."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- You're really holding your own. - You are."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- I'm gonna be in my dressing room. - All right, Andy!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- You're beautiful when you're angry. - Yes!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"[ENGLISH]"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Have you ever been in charge of 12 young boys?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"No, sir."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Ever put your life in another boy's hands?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Have you ever asked another boy to put his life in yours?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"No, sir."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"It's that simple. Are we clear?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- Yes, sir. - Are we clear?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I think we've established the clarity of it."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"All those having business here, stand forward and you shall be heard."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"On September 6th, they entered the bunk side of their troop mate."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"While he was sleeping, they placed his hand into a glass of warm water."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"They commenced to taunting him and calling him "Skidmark Santiago.""
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Listen up, glory boy."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"As troop den mother, let me tell you..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- No cold? - No code."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"That's... I don't think so."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Roll the dice and take your chances."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"I eat breakfast every day with 12 angry fathers..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...who think I'm secretly touching their sons."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...Hapsburg-chinned, thirst-quenching..."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"We live in a world that has pup tents."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Those tents are held together with knots a scout learns:"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"...the shank, the hitch, the half-hitch."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Who's gonna tie those knots? You?"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"Your scouts follow orders, or people get wedgied!"
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"- You want answers? - I think I'm entitled."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
"You can't handle the truth."
The Ben Stiller Show (1992)
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