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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - The Fortress (S08E08)

"[Ted Narrating] In the spring of 2013..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Like what? - Well, for example..."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Chuckles]"
How I Met Your Mother
"You don't mind if I spend the night, do you?"
How I Met Your Mother
"The Ho-be-gone Sleep System..."
How I Met Your Mother
"What is on the other side of the wall? Where do the hos go?"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Snickers] What am I, a contractor?"
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"♪ ♪ [Man Vocalizing]"
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"Stupid!"
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"No, you really nailed all of Lily's parts."
How I Met Your Mother
"I barely see her anymore 'cause of this new job."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Narrating] Woodworthy Manor was a show..."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Ted Narrating] Lily had just started a job as the art consultant..."
How I Met Your Mother
"of a soulless plutocrat defecating on the poor."
How I Met Your Mother
"Man, I'm faced."
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"When did you get glasses?"
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"No. No, just a crazy person on the local news."
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"from the Fortress of Solitude in Superman, okay?"
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"Last time, you used it to tell me..."
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"[Normal Voice] Ted, just... just... Okay."
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"Can you just once be cool?"
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"Barney, I wouldn't live here even if you scrubbed every inch of this place..."
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"What did you... That's..."
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"[Whimpers] Can't breathe."
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"big, fancy dinner and the ballet."
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"Hey, three bucks an hour. Thank you."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Whispering] Woodworthy Manor."
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"and I feel like I'd be cheating on her."
How I Met Your Mother
"You know, tonight they're gonna finally reveal who framed the chimney sweep..."
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"for stealing Lord Stoutshire's gooseberries."
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"[Whispering] Just let it happen."
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"[Ted Narrating] Later that week, Barney came home to discover..."
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"[No Audible Dialogue]"
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"how many women have seen some beautiful woodwork in there."
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"[British Accent] Hello, old bean. Jolly good evening, isn't it?"
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"Robin asked us all to come here and pretend..."
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"that we are prospective buyers who love this apartment."
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"Have you two been looking at a lot of places in this neighborhood?"
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"Pretending you're married?"
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"No. No, no, no."
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"- because she is thinking in reverse. - Mm-hmm."
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"This guy knows what I'm talking about."
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"Oh, right, right. Because it's a choice."
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"Oh, my God!"
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"I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to drive people away."
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"Niagara Falls..."
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"[Explosion]"
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"Thank you. I practiced it all morning."
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"- [Water Spraying] - [Man] Oh."
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"It's also triggered by "I'm too tired," "Let's snuggle"..."
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"And that turns it off."
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"- [Water Spraying] - [Alarm Bell Ringing]"
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"I can't believe that you're mad at me."
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"I've been abandoned by my wife and my gay companion."
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"Thank you, Barney. That really..."
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"I don't see any."
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"The Fortress of Barnitude is no longer for sale."
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"so don't act all high-and-mighty."
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"If I ask you to change too many things about yourself..."
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"[Laughing] I know. The cape."
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"And I... I know that you love this job."
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"I miss you too."
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"- Oh, no. - Kind of boring?"
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"- Worth it. - Ow."
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"Barney and Robin were just weeks away from tying the knot..."
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"but there were still some pretty big issues they hadn't agreed on."
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"- Adoption. - I don't know."
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"[Scoffs] It's the only thing that makes sense."
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"I can't believe you're not open to it."
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"Okay. Let's try it."
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"No. It doesn't work with 27 down."
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"Hey, with the wedding so close, maybe we should talk about where we're gonna live."
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"Fine. Enough. Stop begging."
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"We'll live here... but you owe me."
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"Yeah, I don't know."
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"There's just a lot of things I don't totally love about your apartment."
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"why is your bed on what looks like train tracks?"
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"- You were wonderful. - [Chuckles]"
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"You don't get to be a state-certified orgasmologist..."
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"without learning how to please a woman."
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"Um, how else are we gonna get to know each other on a deeper level?"
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"Excuse me. I just have to log tonight's orgasms..."
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"with the licensing board."
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"[Sighs]"
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"[Clicks]"
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"[Yelps]"
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"by Stinson... patent pending."
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"We need to go into this marriage with a fresh start."
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"What do you say we find a new place together?"
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"I love you..."
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"and if that will make you happy, then let's do it."
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"Mmm."
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"Wow. So we need to find an apartment where I haven't banged someone."
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"- How do you feel about Cleveland? [Chuckles] - Ha, ha."
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"No. Ted's mom."
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"Nice job filling in for Lily on Marvin's lullaby."
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"It's been three weeks since I have."
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"You know what might cheer you up?"
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"There's a new Woodworthy Manor on tonight."
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"♪ ♪ [TV: Classical]"
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"about an upper-class English estate..."
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"at the beginning of the 20th century."
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"[Man, British Accent] My word! You can't possibly mean..."
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"[Woman] But I do."
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"With the succession of Lady Eastbrooke..."
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"to Viscountess of Marleyhead..."
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"our cousin Baldrick becomes..."
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"- the Earl of Witherstead. - The Earl of Witherstead!"
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"I only posted that prediction 15 times on the forums!"
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"No, I can't."
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"I promised Lily I would wait and watch it with her."
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"for an eccentric billionaire, the Captain."
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"Ahoy."
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"He's molded world currency into a sculpture..."
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"A scathing indictment of capitalism."
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"I'll go as high as 200K..."
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"as long as you think I can flip it for double in six months."
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"[Cell Phone Rings]"
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"Ahoy."
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"There's this gorgeously delicate impressionist still life..."
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