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Clips from New Girl - Bells (S01E01)

"And with that statement, he never had sex again."
New Girl
"Winston and me are playing bells Every day"
New Girl
"Until Sunday. I'm cool."
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"I don't mean to nag, but how long is this gonna take?"
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"Fancy fix, fancy amount of time."
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"Because I would like to use my own bathroom now."
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"Sir, bathrooms are for customers only."
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"How dare you."
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"If only there were some sort of pipe-and-water expert..."
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"that we could hire to come and fix this problem."
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"Wanna do this? Wanna have this fight with me?"
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"You wanna go down this path?"
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"Because unlike you, Schmidt..."
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"I don't just throw my money at problems."
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"All I hear is I can't use my bathroom because you're poor."
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"It's your lucky day. I'm gonna pay for the plumber."
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"No, I don't want your charity."
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"Well, you seem very happy using my emergency tools."
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"Oh, yeah? Do you even know what this is?"
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"- Doy. It's a scissor. - Yeah, that's exactly right."
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"Yeah, a scissor that you just threw in the turdlet."
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"So at rehearsal, keep an eye out for Hector."
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"I'm having trouble getting him to interact."
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"He wanted to play drums so I told him bells were the next best thing."
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"I couldn't keep a straight face while saying it. He saw right through me."
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"So why do you do this bell thing, Jess? I mean, like, how do you win?"
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"You don't win. You win by helping the kids."
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"I just wanna get them to care and try hard, you know?"
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"- You want them to try hard? - Yeah."
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"I'll get them to try hard."
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"No, I'm telling you..."
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"- ...they're not gonna listen to you. - Okay."
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"Oh, what, a plumber? You plan it this way?"
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"Just to rub my face in it?"
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"I wanted rub your face in our working toilet."
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"- That toilet I will never use. - Never gonna go to the bathroom again?"
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"You're the soda-bottle guy. That was smart."
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"Thank you. Thank you."
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"- Question: How much did he pay? - Know what, that's enough."
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"- Fifty dollars? Hundred? - Inappropriate."
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""My name's Schmidt. I was born rich. I had a $40,000 bar mitzvah.""
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"How long you gonna do the petty act for, man?"
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"That was a handmade gift my nanny gave me..."
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"that you spilled a pitcher of Midori Sours on."
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"Your nanny gave you that for free. As far as I'm concerned, you're up 30 bucks."
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"My nanny is dead!"
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"I'm not looking to make money off of her!"
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"I will not apologize again for the Midori Sours!"
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"Who drinks Midori Sours?"
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"- Everyone drinks Midori Sours! - They don't!"
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"- Melon liqueur! - I would never drink one!"
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"- American classic with Asian influences! - Winston would never drink one!"
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"Enjoy the couch. I bought that too."
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"Enjoy the rug too, paid for that. Organic woven."
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"What are you doing? What are you doing?"
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"- Oh, come on, man. - Well, I stole the cable!"
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"And my bar mitzvah was an amazing event."
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"The theme was sports jams."
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"- Oh, my God. - Wow, that was really good."
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"That was amazing. - That was off the hammer. Heh."
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"The hammer in the bell."
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"I was thinking, okay, if we wanna win this concert..."
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"play something cool. "Eye of the Tiger." - What's "Eye of the Tiger"?"
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"- It's so cool, it ended the Cold War. - That's not even a little bit true."
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"I never thought bells could be cool."
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"Do that thing where you hold three bells in one hand..."
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"- Three-in-hand. - I think she's talking about the Winston."
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"Yeah, but can you do this?"
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"Oh, my God. - That was really pretty."
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"But Miss Day has a few tricks up her sleeves as well."
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"- Let's see what you got. - Come on, Miss Day."
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"Let's see what you got, Miss Day. Come on."
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"I am a robot"
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"Trying to play the bells"
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"Don't judge me Because I can't think at all"
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"I just like to play the bells"
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"- I wanna play "Eye of the Tiger." Yeah, come on."
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"Yeah, please. - I don't know."
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"That sounds so fun, but we can't because we don't have time."
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"- Oh, darn. - Here's what I was thinking."
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"If you skip school and practice, then, boom, you got it."
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"Mr. Bishop."
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"- Yeah, yeah. - Done."
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"- Yeah, you got it. - No problem."
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"What's the deal with Winston? He's really intense."
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"No, look, I grew up with Winston. I know how he is."
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"He's incredibly talented, but he's ajerk about it."
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"One of those guys that'll never pass the ball if he thinks he can score."
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"I don't know why it needs to be a competition."
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"That's just the way some guys are, Jess, you know?"
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"They get themselves wrapped up in these insecure silly games."
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"Hey, Nick, uh, we're good with that whole plumber thing, right?"
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"- Absolutely. - Yeah, okay, cool, because..."
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"I was right about that whole thing. Oh!"
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"- I unfixed that. - How are you gonna unfix a dead Schmidt?"
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"You're so predictable, Schmidt! I have fixed everything."
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"Stop yelling"
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"- I don't wanna hear you yelling anymore - I'm gonna unfix everything I fixed."
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"What...?"
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"- I paid for the freezer, so, you know... - I'm gonna kill you."
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"That's a B right there."
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"Get that in there."
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"You're fired."
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"Focus."
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"Are you focused?"
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"Okay, what's the song about?"
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"- Hector? - Hanging tough, staying hungry."
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"- Are you brown-nosing me? - Yes, I am."
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"You're so cool."
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"- Where are your eyes? - On the tiger."
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"One, two, three, four."
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"Two, three, four."
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"No, no, no!"
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"Are you kidding me? It is not that hard, people."
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"It is an instrument that a cat wears around its neck."
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"Know what? I think they did a pretty great job..."
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"considering they've only played it eight times."
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"You thought wrong because I'm out there right now by myself in the cold."
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"I got no support."
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"- Maybe we're not good enough. - No, you are good enough."
New Girl
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