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Clips from Seinfeld - The Secretary (S06E06)

"Then before we go out, we dress them up like a bear?"
Seinfeld
"So this woman you plan on hiring..."
Seinfeld
"...is she gonna be in the spokesmodel category?"
Seinfeld
"Whatever."
Seinfeld
"She keeps it with me for when she comes up from Florida."
Seinfeld
"Hey, nice jacket."
Seinfeld
"So I'm afraid this is not gonna work out. Thanks for coming."
Seinfeld
"You're luscious. You're ravishing."
Seinfeld
"My only concern is, I take care of my mother."
Seinfeld
"Exactly. Anyway, I gotta go there and return it."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"A lesser man would've crumbled."
Seinfeld
"- It's a little- - All right."
Seinfeld
"Good idea."
Seinfeld
"It's a total-protection moisturizer with UVA. Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I'll meet you there. We'll have lunch."
Seinfeld
"Yes. I think I do."
Seinfeld
"It's definitely doable."
Seinfeld
"- Thanks a lot, bigmouth. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"You know, I-"
Seinfeld
"I think he was wearing my houndstooth jacket."
Seinfeld
"He complimented me on it."
Seinfeld
"Uma, Uma, Uma."
Seinfeld
"All right. Taxi's on me."
Seinfeld
"...would be to undo the jacket then go around the back of the shirt."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"I'm giving you a raise?"
Seinfeld
"I didn't say any other bawdy things."
Seinfeld
"...you know, whatever..."
Seinfeld
"Well, we're more than happy to exchange it for something else."
Seinfeld
"...you don't wanna skimp on the swank."
Seinfeld
"I like your little bag."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah. Hey, look at this."
Seinfeld
"- You're telling me. - I sure am."
Seinfeld
"- Forty-two. - Forty-two? That's what I am now."
Seinfeld
"Yes. Yes, George. Can you talk to me?"
Seinfeld
"It's some kind of a diverticulitis."
Seinfeld
"She can't even afford to go out to lunch. She-"
Seinfeld
"Hello?"
Seinfeld
"Specifically, 9:30 shows."
Seinfeld
"Seen any good 9:30 shows at the Paragon, Willie?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry, that's a breach of the dry cleaners' code."
Seinfeld
"I wasn't wearing your jacket."
Seinfeld
"- Jerry, you're imagining things. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Am I imagining this?"
Seinfeld
"- Well- - Where's the ticket?"
Seinfeld
"You mean to tell me that you don't have a ticket for the coat?"
Seinfeld
"So do you want it?"
Seinfeld
"I need a non-partisan mirror."
Seinfeld
"...I sat down with Mr. Steinbrenner."
Seinfeld
"...that I was leaving."
Seinfeld
"- So you got a $25,000-a-year raise? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"- I am? - A secretary cannot make more..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, this is insanity."
Seinfeld
"This woman's been in there for over an hour."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me, miss. Is everything okay in there?"
Seinfeld
"- Kramer? - Jerry. You got my clothes?"
Seinfeld
"What am I doing here? You're in the women's dressing room."
Seinfeld
"How'd you expect to get out of here?"
Seinfeld
"So if you could show me something else."
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"- I am? - Yes. You wore it outside."
Seinfeld
"- Kramer? - I'm going out."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, I want my money back for this suit."
Seinfeld
"- Jerry, come back. - Excuse me."
Seinfeld
"How's everything going?"
Seinfeld
"Can we go back to Mendy's?"
Seinfeld
"- I think that's a pretty good deal. - Two Mendy's."
Seinfeld
"...knowing that my subordinate is making more money than I am?"
Seinfeld
"I know what it's like to be strapped."
Seinfeld
"Not that I was ever one for the sweets."
Seinfeld
"Sometimes I can't even make up my mind."
Seinfeld
"The dry-cleaning number's gone too."
Seinfeld
"- You out of your mind? - Are you crazy, taking my coat?"
Seinfeld
"Let me see. Piece of cake."
Seinfeld
"- Are you enjoying it? - Yeah. I'm having a wonderful time."
Seinfeld
"It's a gamble. I get it."
Seinfeld
"Let's hurry. I gotta go. I'm meeting a woman for a drink."
Seinfeld
"Hope she's good-looking."
Seinfeld
"What's supposed to be so attractive about fur?"
Seinfeld
"Men want women with shaved legs and armpits, plucked eyebrows."
Seinfeld
"...would be if you were trying to sneak up on another animal."
Seinfeld
"You ever see those tribal hunters wearing the fur..."
Seinfeld
"...with the other animal's head on top of their head, you know?"
Seinfeld
"I'm sure there's a moose looking at that going, Yeah. Looks good."
Seinfeld
"...because nothing's fishy there."
Seinfeld
"I'll just keep drinking from the stream."
Seinfeld
"So I am actually gonna have a secretary."
Seinfeld
"You were taking messages for your mother."
Seinfeld
"And now someone's gonna be taking messages for me."
Seinfeld
"From your mother."
Seinfeld
"Sure, I could go the tomato route..."
Seinfeld
"So I'm doing a complete 360."
Seinfeld
"I'm going for total efficiency and ability."
Seinfeld
"I got this stuff..."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, you know my wife, Donna."
Seinfeld
"This is a beauty."
Seinfeld
"It really accentuates my bust line."
Seinfeld
"I'm completely well-versed in all the IBM and Macintosh programs."
Seinfeld
"Well, Miss Coggins, you're obviously qualified for the job."
Seinfeld
"You have all the necessary skills and experience..."
Seinfeld
"...but you're extremely attractive. You're gorgeous."
Seinfeld
"I'm looking at you, I can't even remember my name."
Seinfeld
"I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra."
Seinfeld
"I'm terribly sorry. Terribly sorry."
Seinfeld
"I think I'd be a real asset here."
Seinfeld
"So will there be many late nights?"
Seinfeld
"Okay. So Barneys is having this huge sale."
Seinfeld
"I try this dress on."
Seinfeld
"I couldn't take my eyes off myself."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - Okay. So then I put it on at home..."
Seinfeld
"All right. I'll try it on again. You tell me what you think."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, hey. - Hey, George."
Seinfeld
"I am telling you, Jerry, having a secretary is incredible."
Seinfeld
"Because you didn't have a job?"
Seinfeld
"Perhaps."
Seinfeld
"Messages, appointments."
Seinfeld
"I can't tell you how proud I am of myself for going with Ada."
Seinfeld
"They would've gone for the dish and the sure-fire sexual harassment suit."
Seinfeld
"You answered it right there."
Seinfeld
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