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Clips from Veep - C**tgate (S05E05)

"- It's not a gate. - No, it's very much a gate."
Veep
"- Untrue. - You should watch out, Amy."
Veep
"You don't want to be the face of Cuntgate."
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"Although you do have the perfect face for it."
Veep
"SATURDAY 8:15 PM MARKET OPENS IN 37 HOURS"
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"So it spread to the insurance companies?"
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"- At least three of them. - Jesus Christ."
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"Oh, come on."
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"Good evening. It is me again."
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"Yeah, so I was just talking to Mike"
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"and I definitely want to bail out Wheelright."
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"That's a smart play."
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"Mike! You fucking jagoff."
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"Is this about the coffee pods? I swear I was gonna put..."
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"No, you told the president to bail out Charlie's bank."
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"No, I didn't say anything about banks."
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"I was talking to her about how Wendy paid off"
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"my student loans and how I love her for it."
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"You still have student loans? How old are you?"
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"I'm not good with money."
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"TOWN HALL MEETING"
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"Now, the widow's gonna get 10 minutes, then you get 10 minutes."
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"Hi, I'm Jonah Ryan. So happy to be here. What a great cause."
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"- Stump speech. - I'm listening and I'm a doer."
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"It's good to start with a joke about a local bigwig"
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"like Mayor Brock is here tonight."
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"I guess when he had cancer, the doctors removed"
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"his ability to stop doing his kid's babysitter."
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"Seems kind of harsh."
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"I know New Hampshire. Trust me, big laugh."
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"Also, sir, some bands we haven't used"
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"have sent some preemptive cease-and-desist orders."
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"Sting, Bruce Springsteen..."
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"sent two letters, actually... and Enya."
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"Enya?"
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"Send her a fucking cease-and-desist letter."
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"- Hello, Jonah. - Good morning, Mrs. Sherman."
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"I still remember that lovely macaroni portrait"
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"you made of your mother."
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"I don't recall that macaroni portrait, Mrs. Sherman."
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"- Please welcome... - Excuse me, ma'am. You're on."
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"...our first speaker, Mrs. Judy Sherman."
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"Thank you."
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"Did you hear that dig about the macaroni portrait?"
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"Can you fucking believe that?"
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"Hey, we're on a code black."
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"POTUS is on an opinion shopping spree. Come on."
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"Hey, slow down. I'm on Coumadin."
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"Sue, we need to see the president."
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"Gentlemen, you'll have to towel off and wait."
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"- She's in with someone. - Who?"
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"Whom."
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"Come on, Charlie, 100%."
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"- 100%. - All right, great."
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"Now, on the other hand, bailing out your boyfriend"
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"I mean, that could be career-ending, right?"
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"Yeah, right."
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"But, I mean, if you had a gun to your head..."
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"Oh, maybe the gun doesn't have any bullets."
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"Well, thank you so much for coming."
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"It was my pleasure. Oh, gentlemen."
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"Well, that was completely useless."
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"Ma'am, we need a final decision right now,"
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"even if it's the wrong one."
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"I just need a little bit more time."
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"If we don't put a plan into action tomorrow morning,"
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"then by Monday we will be Greece."
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"The country, not the musical."
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"All right, here's my final decision."
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"You will have a final decision by tomorrow morning."
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"Have both plans ready to go."
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"Now, I need to get on the phone with the Israeli prime minister"
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"and then the president of France, okay?"
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"They may give me some insight into this."
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"Ma'am, instead of that, I got an idea."
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"You can clear your head out and have a little fun at the same time."
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"- What? - Yeah, I'll call Jonah and Dan"
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"and you can tear them a six-pack of new assholes."
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"- Oh, that does sound like fun. Okay. - Yeah."
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"But when your husband of 47 years"
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"asks you on his deathbed..."
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"To continue..."
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"Dan, you're on with the president."
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"Dan, I cannot fucking believe"
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"how terrible you are at your job."
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"What, are you running on a platform"
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"of higher taxes and episiotomies?"
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"Ma'am, we just... we need a little time."
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"Put that world's tallest pile of garbage on the phone right now."
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"It's the president."
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"Fuck..."
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"- Hello, ma'am. - Hey, hunchback."
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"I don't know what you've been doing instead of trying to win,"
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"but I'm gonna guess that it has the word anal in it."
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"Now, you learn to control your cocksucking temper,"
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"otherwise I'm gonna come up there myself"
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"and I'm gonna shoot you in your fucking mouth."
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"- She hung up. - Fuck her."
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"You know, Selina Meyer is a second-rate mediocrity"
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"whose only achievement is single-handedly tanking the economy."
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"But somehow we're the losers doing anal with each other?"
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"Her entire presidency has been one disgrace after another."
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"- She has never respected me. - And I'm bad at my fucking job?"
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"- Fuck! - You know what? That's bullshit."
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"- You're doing a good job. - Oh, fuck off."
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"No, this glasses shit, that was dope."
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"These look great. That was a great idea."
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"Go fuck yourself."
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"And I promise I won't let anyone get away"
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"with wasting your hard-earned money."
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"T:U:S:U:B:T:I:T:U:L:O:C:O:M:"
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"Thank you. Thank you so much."
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"Thank you."
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"I want you to go out there and I want you to kick some New Hampshire ass."
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"Yo, Granite State. Hey, how you feeling?"
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"I see that Mayor Block isn't here tonight."
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"Guess he couldn't get a babysitter."
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"Or could he?"
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"You suck! Go back to Washington."
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"I don't think that we need that."
Veep
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