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Clips from Veep - C**tgate (S05E05)

"I took the liberty of arranging some hecklers."
Veep
"- No charge. - But, yes, I was in Washington."
Veep
"And I worked a very high-level, important job."
Veep
"You helped Selina Meyer screw up this country."
Veep
"I think she did a fine job screwing up the country all by herself."
Veep
"No, I'm serious."
Veep
"This is so much more beautiful to watch than the birth of my child."
Veep
"Right, she single-handedly destroyed the economy,"
Veep
"but she doesn't care because she's too busy"
Veep
"cuddling up to her billionaire boyfriend."
Veep
"And I don't know about you,"
Veep
"but my boyfriend's not a billionaire."
Veep
"Her whole presidency has been one disgrace after another"
Veep
"and I don't know if you're sick of it,"
Veep
"- but I am definitely sick of it... - Yes."
Veep
"...and I'm not just gonna sit here and take it anymore."
Veep
"What the fuck?"
Veep
"My name is Jonah Ryan"
Veep
"and I want to be your congressman."
Veep
"And I won't back down. Thank you."
Veep
"Thank you very much, Granite State."
Veep
"You feeling me? Thank you."
Veep
"Thank you."
Veep
"- SUNDAY 9:07 AM - MARKET OPENS IN 24 HOURS - Mike! Mike! - Wayne."
Veep
"When will we hear which banks are gonna get bailout money?"
Veep
"No one is using the term bailout money except for you, Wayne."
Veep
"The details for the plan will be revealed later today."
Veep
"Leon."
Veep
"Can you confirm the allegation of the firing"
Veep
"of three people from the comms office is tied to See-you-next-Tuesday-gate?"
Veep
"That sort of coarse language is far beneath the dignity of this room."
Veep
"- And also it's not a gate. - Oh, it's a gate."
Veep
"- No, it is not a gate. - It's very much a gate."
Veep
"You know what? We're gonna elevate the conversation,"
Veep
"go to my friend here at The New York Times."
Veep
"Mike, the Politico sidebar suggested"
Veep
"that there was one staffer who called the president"
Veep
"the worst thing you can call a woman."
Veep
"- Why were three people fired? - Okay, that about wraps it up."
Veep
"Thank you all. No further questions."
Veep
"Enjoy your evening."
Veep
"Ben, this is real. The whole room was sniffing around Cuntgate."
Veep
"- It's not a gate, Mike. - No kidding!"
Veep
"It isn't a gate. I agree. I said that."
Veep
"No kidding. She's becoming seriously unhinged."
Veep
"She has gone full metal Nixon."
Veep
"Who do you think said it?"
Veep
"Well, we did. Me and Mike."
Veep
"- Oh, my God. I thought it was me. - No way."
Veep
"No, I'm pretty sure I called her a cunt to the reporter who broke the story."
Veep
"Amy, it's probable that your investigation"
Veep
"has already determined that I was the one that called her a cunt."
Veep
"I'm hoping that my utility to the organization"
Veep
"gives you reason to protect me on this."
Veep
"Also our friendship."
Veep
"Hey, Ben?"
Veep
"Gary."
Veep
"It was me. I called the president the C word."
Veep
"- No, you didn't. - Really?"
Veep
"I was so mad about her not wearing sunscreen,"
Veep
"which is stupid, and I was like,"
Veep
"What an old crone."
Veep
"A what?"
Veep
"An old crone, Amy."
Veep
"Gary, C is for cunt."
Veep
"What?"
Veep
"We all called her a cunt."
Veep
"Oh, my God!"
Veep
"What is wrong with you people?"
Veep
"Oh, Madam President. Welcome."
Veep
"I've made my final decision."
Veep
"I'm gonna bail out Charlie."
Veep
"Madam President, you really don't have to make that decision yet."
Veep
"- I mean, you got a little bit more time. - I don't need more time."
Veep
"It's best for our country's economy."
Veep
"That's the end of it."
Veep
"So you're gonna go talk to Treasury,"
Veep
"I'm gonna go tell Tom. Done. Okay?"
Veep
"- Right? - Yes, ma'am."
Veep
"Hey, ma'am, I know you made the right choice with Charlie"
Veep
"because when you have found someone you love,"
Veep
"who makes you feel special every time he talks to you"
Veep
"and you can be happy just thinking about him, you know..."
Veep
"I mean, that's more important than anything, you know?"
Veep
"Yeah."
Veep
"- Good morning. - Morning, ma'am."
Veep
"Madam President."
Veep
"What brings you here?"
Veep
"Let's do this."
Veep
"SUNDAY 10:30 AM PHOTO OP: PRESIDENT'S HOLIDAY SHOPPING"
Veep
"Madam President, what will you be buying for Mr. Baird?"
Veep
"I don't want to spoil Charlie's surprise under the tree..."
Veep
"but I'm going to be purchasing a book of poetry"
Veep
"by one of my favorite African-American poets, Wanda Coleman."
Veep
"And I've got my eye on a graphic novel"
Veep
"with a very strong female Asian protagonist."
Veep
"So, merry Chris..."
Veep
"happy holidays to everybody, right?"
Veep
"- Right. - And let's go shopping. Thank you."
Veep
"Please don't get me a book for Christmas."
Veep
"I already have a book."
Veep
"It's Tom James. I should actually take this."
Veep
"No, no, that wasn't supposed to come now."
Veep
"Hey, ma'am. Catherine keeps calling."
Veep
"- Do you want to take it? - What?"
Veep
"- No, just let it ring. - Okay."
Veep
"I don't know why she keeps calling."
Veep
"When were you gonna let me know?"
Veep
"- I... - I'm Chapter 11."
Veep
"Janders is buying my assets."
Veep
"I'm CEO of a fucking yard sale."
Veep
"- Hey, Charlie, you know what? - How could you fucking do this to me?"
Veep
"- What do you mean? - Politico was right about you."
Veep
"- No, Charlie... - Hey, you said it wouldn't affect..."
Veep
"I know you had an eye job."
Veep
"MONDAY 5:32 PM DOW JONES +12.14"
Veep
"You made the right call on the banks, ma'am."
Veep
"Well, you can thank When Gary Met Sally for that one."
Veep
"He gave me some sappy speech"
Veep
"and made me realize what an idiot I was being."
Veep
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