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Clips from Veep - C**tgate (S05E05)

"Move, move!"
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"The widow bravely carrying the flag narrative has traction for about a week."
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"After that, done."
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"Hey, Ben, can I..."
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"Dan, do you know Candi Caruso?"
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"- Yes. - No."
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"Can I speak to you for a second?"
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"- Yeah. Excuse me. - Sorry."
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"I'm sorry, Candi. The position's been filled."
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"Thanks for coming in."
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"It's good seeing you again."
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"What's this about? Am I in trouble?"
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"No, no. The president..."
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"asked me to speak to everyone about a certain matter."
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"Is this about the coffee pods I took from the kitchen?"
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"- We had a brunch and I took them. - No. No."
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"Mike, do you know who called the president a cunt?"
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"No, I... I have no idea."
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"Okay, I'm sorry. I can't do this."
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"She put me in charge of this whole stupid investigation"
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"and it was me. I called her a cunt."
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"You did?"
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"I thought everyone knew it was me."
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"I was in the Senate building with Dan and I'm sure someone overheard me."
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"I shouted it into my phone on the Acela Quiet Car."
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"FRIDAY 3:09 PM STOCK MARKET OPENS IN 66 HOURS"
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"Okay."
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"I've made my decision."
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"We are going to bail out Charlie's bank."
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"I don't care what hits we take."
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"It's for the good of the country in the long run."
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"- Bravo, Madam President. - Yeah."
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"- Ma'am, if I could just... - Nope."
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"I don't want to hear it, okay?"
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"That's my final solution."
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"Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"
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"Do you get it? Yeah."
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"RYAN FOR CONGRESS HQ"
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"I can't ever forget"
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"it's about the people."
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"Are you even getting any of this?"
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"Getting what?"
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"I was looking thoughtfully out the window."
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"Some straight up JFK level shit."
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"I was just getting some B-roll of the fax machine."
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"Come on!"
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"God."
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"You know, the state that you live in sucks."
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"Sir, as your director of communications,"
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"I need to tell you that we just got a letter from the band Rush."
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"- Really? - They said that we can't use the song Working Man anymore"
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"because they find you odious."
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"You know what? I play what I want."
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"Copyright shit went out with the Zune."
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"I'm sorry. What are you doing here?"
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"Hello, Jonah. Richard."
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"- Hi, Catherine. - When you talk to me, you ruin the film."
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"Always a pleasure."
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"I'm here to be your new campaign manager."
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"Holy shit, are you here to beg me for a job?"
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"As director of communication, I should have been alerted to this."
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"Why don't you have a seat"
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"and tell me about your job history and we'll go from there?"
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"From now on, Jonah, you will shut the fuck up and do exactly as I say."
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"And if you listen to me instead of your only two brain cells"
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"busy butt-fucking each other somewhere in the vast expanses of your misshapen skull,"
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"then maybe, Jonah, you might have a chance at becoming the first mentally"
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"impaired Frankensetein's monster to ever win an American election."
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"And by the way, your banner makes it look like your name is Jon H. Ryan,"
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"so great job, communications department."
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"- I'm taking this office. - Wait, that's my office."
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"I got that."
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"FRIDAY 7:45 PM MARKET OPENS IN 62 HOURS"
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"How do you look so good with all this stress?"
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"You're glowing."
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"You actually look younger. What did you do?"
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"Oh, my God, he noticed."
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"What?"
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"I have a new facial moisturizer."
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"And a new soap."
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"- Gary. - Yeah, I'll just stand over here."
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"- Actually, I think... - I'll just leave the room."
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"- Yes. - Yeah."
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"Listen, Selina, I want to apologize."
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"I know that our relationship has compromised your job."
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"- Yeah. - But you're the president."
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"Whatever you decide is best."
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"And it won't affect our relationship one way or another."
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"- Okay. - Now, enough shoptalk."
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"- Yeah, no kidding. - All right."
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"- Let's talk about something else. - Yes."
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"- Do you want to just have sex? - Yeah."
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"- Yeah. - It's got to be quick, though."
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"I got wheels up at 9:30."
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"That turns me on."
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"SATURDAY 2:01 AM MARKET OPENS IN 55 HOURS"
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"- Hello, ma'am. - Amy, come to my office."
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"- Right now? - Yeah."
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"Of course."
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"Set a reminder."
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"Make an appointment to freeze eggs."
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"Ma'am, are you okay?"
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"- Amy, how's the investigation going? - Oh... fine."
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"I mean, the investigation of me being called a cunt."
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"- I knew which one you meant. - Yeah, good."
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"Well, it does occur to me that we've all got a lot on our plates right now."
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"- Yeah. - So I think we should push this investigation"
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"until after everything..."
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"I want you to fire Gerry Duggan,"
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"Phil Neary and what's her ass, Lisa..."
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"- Hatch? - Yeah, I want her out of the comms department, okay?"
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"Because they should not have let an article"
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"about me being called a cunt get out in the first place, right?"
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"- Well, I'm not the person who... - Fire them."
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"- Okay. - I am the first female president"
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"of the United States and this is an affront."
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"Yes, ma'am."
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"I'll tell you something, Amy."
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"A lot of people don't want me to be president."
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"And you know why. Because fundamentally, people hate women, right?"
Veep
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